Blood Relations - A Vampire Tale
Viewing comments for Chapter 35 "Blood Relations"Some bloodlines run very deep.
26 total reviews
Comment from jahees
couple of typos needing correction:
lily's should be lillies
thanks them all for coming should be thank them...
I have not read the other chapters so it was a little hard knowing who all the characters were and the author notes at least helped with some of them. Does it seem plausible that they would all leave the hospital room and go out on the boat for this fancy dinner just after having been in this accident? Would Jim be so willing to let Brook go after having been hospitalized herself? But maybe I missed something not having read the previous chapters.
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reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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couple of typos needing correction:
lily's should be lillies
thanks them all for coming should be thank them...
I have not read the other chapters so it was a little hard knowing who all the characters were and the author notes at least helped with some of them. Does it seem plausible that they would all leave the hospital room and go out on the boat for this fancy dinner just after having been in this accident? Would Jim be so willing to let Brook go after having been hospitalized herself? But maybe I missed something not having read the previous chapters.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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Thank you so much for your very helpful review. The secret all rests in the vampire's venom which the girls have. It speeds up their recovery time by weeks, LOL. Thanks again!
Comment from jlsavell
Nightwriter, you know me,,I cannot give you a helpful review, but I can give you a review that says..I love your work. This is a defintite page turner..What is Stan's fate..
once again another excellent chapter andas you say in your famous last words..Bravo!!!!!!!! jimi
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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Nightwriter, you know me,,I cannot give you a helpful review, but I can give you a review that says..I love your work. This is a defintite page turner..What is Stan's fate..
once again another excellent chapter andas you say in your famous last words..Bravo!!!!!!!! jimi
Comment Written 11-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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And Bravo to you too! :) Thank you so much for this wonderful review and always needed always appreciated encouragement.
Comment from Jonez08
Great chapter Steve, glad Lori is okay. I'll have to wait and see if Brook and Stan behaves themselves...grrrr
When I heard she was taken to Halifax(,) I needed to be here.
Tell them we're going home, that Lori needs (some) rest and (that she) thanks them all for coming.
(none of these are needed)
He hung the phone up
(consider: He ended the call)
Cassandra
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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Great chapter Steve, glad Lori is okay. I'll have to wait and see if Brook and Stan behaves themselves...grrrr
When I heard she was taken to Halifax(,) I needed to be here.
Tell them we're going home, that Lori needs (some) rest and (that she) thanks them all for coming.
(none of these are needed)
He hung the phone up
(consider: He ended the call)
Cassandra
Comment Written 11-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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Thank you so much Cassandra for your most helpful suggestions and encouraging review. I appreciate your help very much and have already put your good deeds to work. Thank you. I also noticed you wrote something and need to catch up on those reviews. :)
Comment from findingmyroom
Hmm, do I see product placement?? LOL Here's something for you to look at again:
Running past Jill toward Lori, she asked, "How is she?"
Closing the door, she replied, "Much better now."
Reaching Lori's bed, she bent to hug her.
The first and third "she" in this sequence refer to Christine, and the second "she" is Jill. Some clarification would definitely help. Otherwise, this is a nice feel-good chapter, ended just right with a new crisis.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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Hmm, do I see product placement?? LOL Here's something for you to look at again:
Running past Jill toward Lori, she asked, "How is she?"
Closing the door, she replied, "Much better now."
Reaching Lori's bed, she bent to hug her.
The first and third "she" in this sequence refer to Christine, and the second "she" is Jill. Some clarification would definitely help. Otherwise, this is a nice feel-good chapter, ended just right with a new crisis.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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Don't we all just love a good crises, as long as it stays in our stories and stays the heck out of our lives, LOL. Thank you so much for your wonderful review and excellent suggestions. I will see what I can do there. Thank you.
Comment from c_lucas
One good thing about vampires, they have a long "life" expectancy. (LOL) Very well written with good imagery and descriptive scheme.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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One good thing about vampires, they have a long "life" expectancy. (LOL) Very well written with good imagery and descriptive scheme.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review! Yes, very long lives, LOL.
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You are welcome. NW. Charlie
Comment from babylonia
steve,
well, it is their job. of course they aren't going away so quickly. another good chapter. easy to read and follow. spaggies.
(stray quote) "She looked at Jim. "He
imagery is excellent.
love,
barbara
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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steve,
well, it is their job. of course they aren't going away so quickly. another good chapter. easy to read and follow. spaggies.
(stray quote) "She looked at Jim. "He
imagery is excellent.
love,
barbara
Comment Written 10-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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Thank you so much Barbara for this wonderful review and for your eagle-eye catch!
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you are very welcome~
hope you are doing well.
love,
barbara
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I am doing well thank you Barbara. Hope you too are well. If anything, I'm just busy between reading/writing and work and home. I find it takes me about 4 hours to write a five page chapter, additional time for editing. Then reviewing takes a big chunk, then work, sleep, and whatever else comes up, LOL. I used to wish I could just write all day every day, but found out I can't even if given the time. It seems the brain needs time to recharge. :) Have a great day!
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i know busy. i have to laugh when i hear people say they are bored. i don't know that word. LOL i don't have enough time to do everything. i'm supposed to be writing now but want to check for edits. yeah, i can understand how working 50 to 60 hours a week as a full time writer is real.
love,
barbara
Comment from docpetec
Wow! I love your ending. What I do like the most about this chapter is that it flows and the dialogue is genuine. This is truly how people talk. Your characters are real and you present them very well. I cannot offer you andy constructive criticism because I don't think your writing requires it. Good job!
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2009
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Wow! I love your ending. What I do like the most about this chapter is that it flows and the dialogue is genuine. This is truly how people talk. Your characters are real and you present them very well. I cannot offer you andy constructive criticism because I don't think your writing requires it. Good job!
Comment Written 10-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2009
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Thank you so much for this very encouraging and wonderful review! :)
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you're welcome
Comment from Vladilynn
Hi Steve!!
it seems you don't want to end your story at all~ are you trying to continue all the way long as you can???? That will be wow!!!
I'm glad that they're getting better or the worst part will be later on~ secrets won't keep a secrets neh??
( ^ _____________ < )
Thank you for sharing
love much
Lynn:0)
see yah!!
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Hi Steve!!
it seems you don't want to end your story at all~ are you trying to continue all the way long as you can???? That will be wow!!!
I'm glad that they're getting better or the worst part will be later on~ secrets won't keep a secrets neh??
( ^ _____________ < )
Thank you for sharing
love much
Lynn:0)
see yah!!
Comment Written 09-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review Lynn. The story has legs, LOL. :)
Comment from Tellis
Uh oh, maybe they shouldn't be out there alone with the aliens flying around. I enjoyed reading this well written chapter.
Tellis
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Uh oh, maybe they shouldn't be out there alone with the aliens flying around. I enjoyed reading this well written chapter.
Tellis
Comment Written 09-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Have you read chapter 36 alreaady? I mean I haven't posted it yet, LOL. I think you are sensing what's about to happen next. Thank you for your review. :)
Comment from nora arjuna
hi steve, now i finally get to read your chapter and be back with stan and his ladies. he seems to have his hands full here. enjoyed the dialogues as always. write on. :)
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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hi steve, now i finally get to read your chapter and be back with stan and his ladies. he seems to have his hands full here. enjoyed the dialogues as always. write on. :)
Comment Written 09-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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I knew you would enjoy the dialogue as you and I are both good in this area (you more than I, LOL). Thank you so much for your wonderful review. I hope to get some of your chapters read as well. Life has been keeping me busy lately. Thanks again!
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i got a couple on promo. :)
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Even better, LOL!
