Blood Relations - A Vampire Tale
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "Ghosts, Vampires & a Pinch of Lust"Some bloodlines run very deep.
23 total reviews
Comment from babylonia
yeah, i'd say lori is definitely going to be biting into that one. she will be even more suspicious since everything else that has been going on. does she even know how stan got the new doctor? this is definitely going to be interesting. easy to read and follow. no spaggies. imagery is excellent.
love,
barbara
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
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yeah, i'd say lori is definitely going to be biting into that one. she will be even more suspicious since everything else that has been going on. does she even know how stan got the new doctor? this is definitely going to be interesting. easy to read and follow. no spaggies. imagery is excellent.
love,
barbara
Comment Written 17-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
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Thank you so much for this review! I'm back in the saddle writing the next chapter, LOL.
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that is really good to hear. just glad to be caught up. now i have to work on four other books. LOL work is never done.
:P
Comment from jlsavell
NightWriter, I read this ealrier last week and forgot to rate it. I cannot tell you why. I must have gotten distracted. Yes, alot of things going on. Loved it. The plot thickens. I can't say I approve of Stan's infidelity and Brookes coyness, but hey,,, that is the story and well worth the read. Suppose that means I am really into these characters. very well done..I wonder what kind of tangled web is being weaved...jimi
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2009
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NightWriter, I read this ealrier last week and forgot to rate it. I cannot tell you why. I must have gotten distracted. Yes, alot of things going on. Loved it. The plot thickens. I can't say I approve of Stan's infidelity and Brookes coyness, but hey,,, that is the story and well worth the read. Suppose that means I am really into these characters. very well done..I wonder what kind of tangled web is being weaved...jimi
Comment Written 07-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2009
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A web for sure. I know all about distractions, happens all the time to me too. Thank you so much for this wonderful review!
Comment from Vladilynn
I been late reading your chapters!! I'm sooo worried that this one will not end in happily ever after!
Some things really don't work at all..eventhough you'll think it's worth as your life!
Love much
Lynn:0)
Good luck!!!
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2009
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I been late reading your chapters!! I'm sooo worried that this one will not end in happily ever after!
Some things really don't work at all..eventhough you'll think it's worth as your life!
Love much
Lynn:0)
Good luck!!!
Comment Written 07-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2009
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Thank you so much Lynn for your wonderful review! :)
Comment from angel of the quill
oooh here we go with women's knowing things
good work i am here snickering saying I can't wait till the next chapter
boy talk about great story i am totally involved great chapter keep up the great work
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2009
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oooh here we go with women's knowing things
good work i am here snickering saying I can't wait till the next chapter
boy talk about great story i am totally involved great chapter keep up the great work
Comment Written 06-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2009
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Thank you -- Thank you!!! :)
Comment from L.lora
Hey, you can't blame the guy--first he is a vampire-so, and then of course he's already tasted her..LOL. I thoroughly enjoyed this segment. Good to see bad boys come in all shapes and genus. Very well written, carried the reader's attention from start to end without a halt. No nits, looking forward to your next segment. Lora
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2009
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Hey, you can't blame the guy--first he is a vampire-so, and then of course he's already tasted her..LOL. I thoroughly enjoyed this segment. Good to see bad boys come in all shapes and genus. Very well written, carried the reader's attention from start to end without a halt. No nits, looking forward to your next segment. Lora
Comment Written 02-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2009
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Wow! You remembered! Yes, how could he resist her when she was so tempting. I've thought about going back and re-writing the seduction scene to where Brook scratches or makes a small cut in her neck to drive Stan beyond control and into madness, LOL. Thank you so much for your wonderful review!
Steve
Comment from wierdgrace
This is so wonderful and the romantic venture with the ghost and vampires, and I love the dialogue with the characters, perfectly written, can not wait to read more.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2009
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This is so wonderful and the romantic venture with the ghost and vampires, and I love the dialogue with the characters, perfectly written, can not wait to read more.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2009
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I'm so glad you found this story and thrilled you loved the dialogue and characters. It is my wish to turn this into a screenplay one day, then either a movie or series or both. At least I can wish this, but it's also a goal I'm working toward, LOL. Thank you so much for your encouraging review.
Steve
Comment from Mountainstar2
This is a very good story chapter told here...
It has good wording content a great chapter and besides vampires, it also has a ghost...
A perfect story wording content to make the hair stand on end. I could feel the story's picture as I went reading line per line...
Good as written and thanks for sharing this one with us...MOuntainstar2..
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2009
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This is a very good story chapter told here...
It has good wording content a great chapter and besides vampires, it also has a ghost...
A perfect story wording content to make the hair stand on end. I could feel the story's picture as I went reading line per line...
Good as written and thanks for sharing this one with us...MOuntainstar2..
Comment Written 30-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2009
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Thank you so much for reading this and your wonderful and encouraging review MOuntainstar2!
Comment from Jonez08
Hi Steve, great chapter. The excorcism should be interesting to say the least. I'm not liking Stan right now regarding Brook, he's acting like a sleazeball and not the Stan we know. I hope Lori busts him...now that would be interesting..lol. I look forward to the next chapter
He brought his lips against hers (and they kissed).
(not needed, the first part tells us they kissed)
The halls were dark (and)quiet at quarter past two in the morning.
(This is an opportunity to get rid of the word (and) and tighten the writing. Consider: At quarter past two in the morning the dark halls were quiet.)
Lori (was watching) TV while Brook looked fast asleep.
(passive, consider: Lori watched TV)
Cassandra
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2009
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Hi Steve, great chapter. The excorcism should be interesting to say the least. I'm not liking Stan right now regarding Brook, he's acting like a sleazeball and not the Stan we know. I hope Lori busts him...now that would be interesting..lol. I look forward to the next chapter
He brought his lips against hers (and they kissed).
(not needed, the first part tells us they kissed)
The halls were dark (and)quiet at quarter past two in the morning.
(This is an opportunity to get rid of the word (and) and tighten the writing. Consider: At quarter past two in the morning the dark halls were quiet.)
Lori (was watching) TV while Brook looked fast asleep.
(passive, consider: Lori watched TV)
Cassandra
Comment Written 30-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2009
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Thank you so much Cassandra for your thoughtful and helpful review. You are a good editor, slicing off words at every opportunity. I watch for the passive voice more thanks to you, but the gremlins still sneak through, LOL.
Have you ever tried this web site to promote your writing? http://www.wordhustler.com/
I just learned about it from another person here on FanStory and it looks like it could be helpful in marketing our stories. Just wondering what your experience/thoughts were.
Thanks again!
Steve
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You're welcome, Steve. No I've never heard of that site, but I will check it out. I'm past the halfway point of editing my first novel. Can't wait to finish! so I can get my queries out. I'll let you know what I think
cj
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Awesome!
Comment from nora arjuna
"Oh, God[,] yes."
"Oh, God[,] no."
just those two little suggestions. hmm, looks like jealousy problem could surface. another nice chapter, steve, and a great ending!
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2009
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"Oh, God[,] yes."
"Oh, God[,] no."
just those two little suggestions. hmm, looks like jealousy problem could surface. another nice chapter, steve, and a great ending!
Comment Written 30-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2009
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review and suggestions! Things are heating up, LOL.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Good day to you NightWriter
Now between Stan been busy with Lori and Brooke,plus Linda's ghost apprearing you have a great chapter.
I'm a bit worried about Stan's over lust for both of the women, especially Brooke.
Gert
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2009
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Good day to you NightWriter
Now between Stan been busy with Lori and Brooke,plus Linda's ghost apprearing you have a great chapter.
I'm a bit worried about Stan's over lust for both of the women, especially Brooke.
Gert
Comment Written 29-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2009
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Thank you so much Gert. This opens up new areas for discovery with Stan, such as do vampires/aliens feel guilt, remorse, love and I think you already know that answer, LOL.
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You are welcome NightWriter
Gert
