rondels and rondeaus
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Entreat Me Not"rondels and rondeaus
87 total reviews
Comment from mstad55
Can we imagine if the mothers and fathers around the world said, NO! you cannot have my child as a sacrifice for your war. It is not my war, it's your war. You may do your own fighting with the one you call your enemy. And may he come to face you one on one. That's the way it should be done. Not let's see how many we can kill and let die of our own country men. Life is so precious and yet we freely give it away. Very nice work. Thanks for sharing your sentiments. Mike
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2009
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Can we imagine if the mothers and fathers around the world said, NO! you cannot have my child as a sacrifice for your war. It is not my war, it's your war. You may do your own fighting with the one you call your enemy. And may he come to face you one on one. That's the way it should be done. Not let's see how many we can kill and let die of our own country men. Life is so precious and yet we freely give it away. Very nice work. Thanks for sharing your sentiments. Mike
Comment Written 30-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2009
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Mike, that is one great vision - may it some day come true :-) Brooke
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
Ah, a subject close to my heart. My friend has three sons - all in the Army. One is currently undergoing emergency surgery. My friend is going out of her mind (and heart) with worry, I can't stop thinking of her. This poem is so very sad and poignant. I have printed it off and will give it to her tomorrow. I've already told her about my wonderful poet friend in the good old US of A. Hope that's OK?
Brilliant writing, Brooke.
I am so enjoying reading all you posted whilst I was away! :)
Warmest wishes and hugs
Kat
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2009
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Ah, a subject close to my heart. My friend has three sons - all in the Army. One is currently undergoing emergency surgery. My friend is going out of her mind (and heart) with worry, I can't stop thinking of her. This poem is so very sad and poignant. I have printed it off and will give it to her tomorrow. I've already told her about my wonderful poet friend in the good old US of A. Hope that's OK?
Brilliant writing, Brooke.
I am so enjoying reading all you posted whilst I was away! :)
Warmest wishes and hugs
Kat
Comment Written 26-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2009
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It is quite OK - just write my name on printed out poems - Brooke Baldwin :-) I'm honored you would share this with her.
Thanks so much, Kat, and please tell your friend my thoughts and prayers are with her and her sons. Brooke
Comment from jason456
I see now why you are ranked so highly. This poem made a major impact on me - it is beautiful and brings tears to my eyes. I wish the whole world could read your poem.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2009
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I see now why you are ranked so highly. This poem made a major impact on me - it is beautiful and brings tears to my eyes. I wish the whole world could read your poem.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2009
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Thank you, PJ - I truly appreciate your generosity and apologize for taking so long to respond to this - sometimes reviews get buried under more recent reviews. Brooke :-)
Comment from allinmyhead
Word choice for the refrain demonstrates your extensive vocabulary. "Entreat" is a word one doesn't hear very often, and you've used it very well in this work. You stay within the rhyme scheme without sacrificing sense, flow, or readability.
This particular poem touched my heart deeply.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2009
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Word choice for the refrain demonstrates your extensive vocabulary. "Entreat" is a word one doesn't hear very often, and you've used it very well in this work. You stay within the rhyme scheme without sacrificing sense, flow, or readability.
This particular poem touched my heart deeply.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2009
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Thank you for this most generous review, my friend. I always try so hard not to let adhering to rhyme sacrifice all that other good stuff, so I'm thrilled you think I've carried that off :-) I'm so glad this one spoke to your heart : -) Brooke
Comment from debskatz
Hey brooke,
Dang, woman, I think you've gotten even better since I haven't been around! I really love this one also. I like the rather formal language you used, it adds more weight to the plea. And I say, "AMEN" to it! I would never allow a child of mine to join the military. Nor a niece or nephew either.
Thank you for sharing your feelings with us & so eloquently!
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2009
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Hey brooke,
Dang, woman, I think you've gotten even better since I haven't been around! I really love this one also. I like the rather formal language you used, it adds more weight to the plea. And I say, "AMEN" to it! I would never allow a child of mine to join the military. Nor a niece or nephew either.
Thank you for sharing your feelings with us & so eloquently!
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 23-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2009
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Welcome back, my busy friend! You are most kind, Deb, with your lovely comments. Yeah, I'm glad my kids are now to old - now I don't have to worry for a couple of decades until they produce grandkids who reach that dangerous age. Thank you. Brooke :-)
Comment from Stergios Palaras Jr
I wish I could just say this is a beautiful poem. But since I have to make it worth your while, let me add that I hope your poems make their way, somehow, to the hands of a grieving mother somewhere. Thank you.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2009
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I wish I could just say this is a beautiful poem. But since I have to make it worth your while, let me add that I hope your poems make their way, somehow, to the hands of a grieving mother somewhere. Thank you.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2009
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Stergios, you are a gracious and generous reviewer - I truly appreciate your most thoughtful comments :-) Brooke
Comment from grassroots08
This was masterfully penned and my heart goes out to all the dear mothers who have lost sons or daughters in the heat of battle. All of my brothers and my father went to war. My sister was in the Airforce. They all made it back in one piece, but many sons and daughters did not. As God is my witness, I can not kill another human being for whatever reason. I never went to war, but I signed up and passed with flying colors the tests and physical. I was ready to go in as an officer to an undeclared war in Vietnam. Then I heard about the Nixon draft lottery, and I waited to see the results. I was high up on the numbers; I could chose to not go. I am thankful that a way was made for me and for many others. Many burned draft cards or moved to Canada. I am thankful I didn't go to a battle that could never be won; that I didn't have to eat Agent Orange as did some friends of mine. I am most thankful that I didn't have to face an angry nation as a returning war vet from that era. How disgraceful and disgusting for these precious soldiers.
Cheers, Don
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2009
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This was masterfully penned and my heart goes out to all the dear mothers who have lost sons or daughters in the heat of battle. All of my brothers and my father went to war. My sister was in the Airforce. They all made it back in one piece, but many sons and daughters did not. As God is my witness, I can not kill another human being for whatever reason. I never went to war, but I signed up and passed with flying colors the tests and physical. I was ready to go in as an officer to an undeclared war in Vietnam. Then I heard about the Nixon draft lottery, and I waited to see the results. I was high up on the numbers; I could chose to not go. I am thankful that a way was made for me and for many others. Many burned draft cards or moved to Canada. I am thankful I didn't go to a battle that could never be won; that I didn't have to eat Agent Orange as did some friends of mine. I am most thankful that I didn't have to face an angry nation as a returning war vet from that era. How disgraceful and disgusting for these precious soldiers.
Cheers, Don
Comment Written 23-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2009
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My boyfriend's number in the first draft was 77 - we were fully prepared to move to Canada but he got a 4F deferment for his health - it saved him then even if he did die at 54 from the same conditions that once won him the deferment. I know a school secretary whose husband is seriously disabled from agent orange - all these years later Vietnam is part of their lives every single day!! Thank you, Don, for your most insightful comments. Brooke
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How can we say there is no difference in wars that were fought? Vietnam was a rare bird to be sure and we never had a prayer to start with. We fought man on man in a jungle area we couldn't tame without the use of deadly chemicals not to mention deadly force with children strapped to bombs. North and South, who could tell the difference? Were the northern forces wearing red bandannas and the South the green ones. How pathetic to fight a people we didn't have much of a clue about. (Shakes his head and walks away grimacing.)
Later friend,
Don
Comment from dportwood
Brooke,
The challenge of poetry writing, especially when writing in a form of prescribed meter and rhyme, is to create emotion through imagery and message. Thoughts expressed here are on the minds of all mothers whose children have 'joined that corps'. Well done.
Duane
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Brooke,
The challenge of poetry writing, especially when writing in a form of prescribed meter and rhyme, is to create emotion through imagery and message. Thoughts expressed here are on the minds of all mothers whose children have 'joined that corps'. Well done.
Duane
Comment Written 22-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Thank you, Duane - you know how much I value your comments. Brooke :-)
Comment from Fleedleflump
The freezer full of meat
screams out in bovine agony
as you slice angry strips from me
to satisfy your heat.
You stole those eggs, you juggernaut
without a thought for chicken's tongue
the guttural anguish they called Mum
that's pissing in your ocean.
One day we'll urinate so much
the estroegen turns all the world female.
We'll die out anyway,
but when we go down it will be at play,
not fighting.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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The freezer full of meat
screams out in bovine agony
as you slice angry strips from me
to satisfy your heat.
You stole those eggs, you juggernaut
without a thought for chicken's tongue
the guttural anguish they called Mum
that's pissing in your ocean.
One day we'll urinate so much
the estroegen turns all the world female.
We'll die out anyway,
but when we go down it will be at play,
not fighting.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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I've been working at a church event all day - I think I need to be more conscious to fully appreciate your poems - I'm sure they will mean more to me tomorrow when I'm not totally exhausted! :-) Thanks, Mike
Comment from S.Yocom
This rondeau is truly beautiful and meaningful, Brooke. I love the rondeau when it is well written, and this one certainly is. It also presents a good message. Simply lovely.
Sally
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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This rondeau is truly beautiful and meaningful, Brooke. I love the rondeau when it is well written, and this one certainly is. It also presents a good message. Simply lovely.
Sally
Comment Written 22-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Thank you, Sally!! I think the rondeau is a gorgeous form, and I am so honored that you like mine :-) This is most generous of you. : -) Brooke
