Blood Relations - A Vampire Tale
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Coming Home"Some bloodlines run very deep.
25 total reviews
Comment from angel of the quill
again a great chapter full of intrigue an edge of the chair how did they do it thriller that i totally enjoyed
nice twists and story plot and planning
good work
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2009
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again a great chapter full of intrigue an edge of the chair how did they do it thriller that i totally enjoyed
nice twists and story plot and planning
good work
Comment Written 06-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2009
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It looks like someone's busy reading. Enjoy! :) Thank you for another wonderful review my friend.
Comment from jlsavell
Nightwriter, oh sir, you can create an awesome atmosphere and mood in this wonderful story. I sincerely hope you try to publish it one day. I do not know how you come up with plot after plot and scene after scene with such imagery and intense pull. Wish I had a six for every chapter. Bravo to you my gifted friend..I am off to the next!!!!!!!!!!!!..jimi
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2009
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Nightwriter, oh sir, you can create an awesome atmosphere and mood in this wonderful story. I sincerely hope you try to publish it one day. I do not know how you come up with plot after plot and scene after scene with such imagery and intense pull. Wish I had a six for every chapter. Bravo to you my gifted friend..I am off to the next!!!!!!!!!!!!..jimi
Comment Written 15-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2009
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Wow! Thank you so much for your incredible and encouraging review! A virtual SIX is just as good. Thank you. :)
Comment from Starcruiser
The saga continues. I like the way you have used science with myth/fantasy. Venom is a very powerful cure for many things. Here in Australia, Taipan (snake) venom is the only thing that can save your life if you should be bitten by a Taipan or Brown Snake, two of the deadliest snake species in the world. This is a very unique vampire tale - for once, the vampire is the good guy. 'Stan Rules'! KG
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2009
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The saga continues. I like the way you have used science with myth/fantasy. Venom is a very powerful cure for many things. Here in Australia, Taipan (snake) venom is the only thing that can save your life if you should be bitten by a Taipan or Brown Snake, two of the deadliest snake species in the world. This is a very unique vampire tale - for once, the vampire is the good guy. 'Stan Rules'! KG
Comment Written 07-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2009
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Thank you so much for your wonderful and encouraging review KG! I didn't know that about the snake venom, very interesting. I tried to make this vampire tale different from the rest to bring a new perspective to this interesting character. Stan is in a way a vampire superman, with super human strength and even something like Krytonite (coldness). The villans are more like Batman though as they come and go. And then there's the love story and his unhuman needs that drive the story. In the next chapter we might see a new villan, LOL. Thanks again for reading and your continued interest. I'm sorry the story's not paying anything right now. It's a long chapter. :)
Steve
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This is one of my favourite stories on FS. As much as I need member dollars, most the stories I read aren't always available on the front page. I'd rather read a story that entertains me for 2 member cents - than one that doesn't for top member dollar. So Steve, whenever you're on page 1 - it's a double bonus! KG
Comment from EllieKaye
Wow. So she feels good... she feels love and she is asking all the right questions so we readers understand how his venom is affecting her. Fantastic writing. It didn't feel forced, but yet you were able to offer interesting and necessary details for the story to move forward. But LINDA has disappeared from the morgue! Oh!
:) The plot thickens! Looking forward to more. :)
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2009
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Wow. So she feels good... she feels love and she is asking all the right questions so we readers understand how his venom is affecting her. Fantastic writing. It didn't feel forced, but yet you were able to offer interesting and necessary details for the story to move forward. But LINDA has disappeared from the morgue! Oh!
:) The plot thickens! Looking forward to more. :)
Comment Written 05-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2009
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review EllieKaye! There's always something cooking at the resort, LOL.
Comment from Vladilynn
You know what?? This the reason why I decided to skip the other chapter..I'll be back for that part okay?
My eyes tired out today reading!! Loll
and this chapter didn't help at all!!!! tooo long after reading other post!! sheeesssshhh!! I lost all my energy! I should read this first before the others!!ROFLMAO
But it's really worthy to read!!! It seem this novel won't finish at all!! It keep building the excitement!!
Dannnnggg!! And I loved it!!
Thank you!!!
Nicely written!!
Love much,
Lynn ( ^ ____________ ^ )
will be back again to you okay!!! Right now my eyes needs to rest!
Maybe I can post one of my thingy before exiting! See yah!!
BRAVO!!!
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2009
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You know what?? This the reason why I decided to skip the other chapter..I'll be back for that part okay?
My eyes tired out today reading!! Loll
and this chapter didn't help at all!!!! tooo long after reading other post!! sheeesssshhh!! I lost all my energy! I should read this first before the others!!ROFLMAO
But it's really worthy to read!!! It seem this novel won't finish at all!! It keep building the excitement!!
Dannnnggg!! And I loved it!!
Thank you!!!
Nicely written!!
Love much,
Lynn ( ^ ____________ ^ )
will be back again to you okay!!! Right now my eyes needs to rest!
Maybe I can post one of my thingy before exiting! See yah!!
BRAVO!!!
Comment Written 05-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2009
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Wow, you've been busy! Thank you so much for this wonderful review! :)
Comment from Jonez08
Hi Steve, what a great chapter chapter, written well and full of information. Jill tried to make a move, but I'm glad that Stan kindly made it known, he's taken... Now to the ending oohhhh my goodness, Linda is alive. This could get very interesting. I really miss you since I'm not posting as much. Can't want to finish editing so I can post again. Talk with you soon.
Cassandra
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2009
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Hi Steve, what a great chapter chapter, written well and full of information. Jill tried to make a move, but I'm glad that Stan kindly made it known, he's taken... Now to the ending oohhhh my goodness, Linda is alive. This could get very interesting. I really miss you since I'm not posting as much. Can't want to finish editing so I can post again. Talk with you soon.
Cassandra
Comment Written 03-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2009
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review Cassandra. The editing process must be pretty intense. I wish you all the best. May it be a best seller!!! It certainly has a lot going for it.
Steve
Comment from avataramaya79
I have spent the entire morning reading your work. I am very excited to see what happens to Linda. I will admit, at the beginning of the story, I was not impressed with the "voices" of the characters. The women felt to mannish. But as the story progressed, the characters started to develop personalities. I was very happy to see this. Now, at the end of chapter 27, I am waiting to see what happens next. I expected the novel to end when everyone came home happy from the castle, and perhaps that would be a good place to end the book. Using everything you have after that as the beginnings of book 2 in the series is a great way to continue the readers rapt attention without having to solve all Stans alien issues in one volume. Just a thought. Keep up the great writing. I look forward to seeing how this all ends.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2009
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I have spent the entire morning reading your work. I am very excited to see what happens to Linda. I will admit, at the beginning of the story, I was not impressed with the "voices" of the characters. The women felt to mannish. But as the story progressed, the characters started to develop personalities. I was very happy to see this. Now, at the end of chapter 27, I am waiting to see what happens next. I expected the novel to end when everyone came home happy from the castle, and perhaps that would be a good place to end the book. Using everything you have after that as the beginnings of book 2 in the series is a great way to continue the readers rapt attention without having to solve all Stans alien issues in one volume. Just a thought. Keep up the great writing. I look forward to seeing how this all ends.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2009
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Thank you so much for your wonderful and encouraging review! Did you read the entire book this morning? That's a lot to read, LOL! Thank you for the great suggestion about where I can end the book. Someone once told me I need 40 chapters to complete a book, so that's sort of the direction I've been heading. But to be honest, writing this story has been such a thrill, I don't want to end it!
There are so many things going on in the story which hopefully keeps things interesting. Each character has a mini story going for themselves. Lori, Stan and Brook and smaller parts are Chuck, Jim and Jill. Linda has her place too. Then we have the Vegas connection, Jim's flying, Brook's college education, Jill's learning the ropes, Stan's new casino, and Linda's surprises, oh, and the aliens and whether Stan will ever truly be able to go home. And there's more, such as Stan's political connections, and just enjoying life at the resort.
Thank you again for your wonderful review!
Steve
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Yes, I read the entire 27 chapters in one sitting. You got me hooked. I really do believe that you should end the book after the happy ending after they get home from the castle. Start book 2 with the breakup, and continue for another 28 chapters or so. I can't wait for the next installment though.
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Thank you so much for your thoughts and support. I will give this a lot of thought. :)
Steve
Comment from AmberRose
I enjoyed reading your work. You have a unique style. I wish you the best and look forward to reading more of your pieces.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2009
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I enjoyed reading your work. You have a unique style. I wish you the best and look forward to reading more of your pieces.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2009
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review! I do try to be different, LOL. :)
Steve
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Steve:)
Very impressive lovemaking in Stan's dream. You have woven quite a history for a new kind of vampire.
I have a few specific comments:
1. This is unlike any virus your body has [even ==> ever] known. {Didyou mean ever. to me it seems to fit better.}
2. "You make me really want to see this place and meet these people. I'm ready to go."
"Did you want to put on a coat or anything?"
"Why? I won't need one where we're going. Besides, I'm not letting go of your hand." {Won't it look strange for Jill to leave Rochester without a coat? Also, holding Stan's hand won't keep Jill warm. the warmth is being transferred from Jill to Stan.}
3. The side effects of the venom from speeding up your metabolism, also speeds up the creation and use of this hormone. You feel as if you're falling in love with me, but logically you know you can't be."
"That's right. Is that by design too?"
"Everything is by design. It's part of the cycle that ensures me a steady supply of willing donors, donors who love and won't betray me."
"That explains what I feel. It's quite strong right now."
"Imagine a world pumped up on this hormone. No wars, only love ... speaking of which, if you love me, Jill, I won't hold it against you." They both laughed. {Steve, all that you say about oxytocin (the cuddle hormone) is scientifically correct. Some useful things you may not know:
A. It will lower blood pressure.
B. Slowing your breathing quickly raises the amount of oxytocin in the blood stream. This explains why a hypnotist can induce a trance faster by just having their subjects breathe slower.
C. It is the main reason hypnosis controls pain.
*****
4. Multi-colored LED lights portrayed the stars and constellations of the universe above them, bathing everything in a soft light. Two rows of burgundy colored couches lined the walls where large screen TVs hung. In the middle of the jet a full size bar rested with the words WISHES RESORT engraved in gold in a circle on the carpeting. Along the windows on both sides were rows of spacious and comfortable recliners, each with it's own LCD TV. {No wonder Jill is impressed.}
You leave this chapter with a powerful hook. What has Linda changed into? Does she now exist only as a spirit or ghost?
I want to read more to see ho you handle this metamorphosis?
Roger
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2009
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Hi Steve:)
Very impressive lovemaking in Stan's dream. You have woven quite a history for a new kind of vampire.
I have a few specific comments:
1. This is unlike any virus your body has [even ==> ever] known. {Didyou mean ever. to me it seems to fit better.}
2. "You make me really want to see this place and meet these people. I'm ready to go."
"Did you want to put on a coat or anything?"
"Why? I won't need one where we're going. Besides, I'm not letting go of your hand." {Won't it look strange for Jill to leave Rochester without a coat? Also, holding Stan's hand won't keep Jill warm. the warmth is being transferred from Jill to Stan.}
3. The side effects of the venom from speeding up your metabolism, also speeds up the creation and use of this hormone. You feel as if you're falling in love with me, but logically you know you can't be."
"That's right. Is that by design too?"
"Everything is by design. It's part of the cycle that ensures me a steady supply of willing donors, donors who love and won't betray me."
"That explains what I feel. It's quite strong right now."
"Imagine a world pumped up on this hormone. No wars, only love ... speaking of which, if you love me, Jill, I won't hold it against you." They both laughed. {Steve, all that you say about oxytocin (the cuddle hormone) is scientifically correct. Some useful things you may not know:
A. It will lower blood pressure.
B. Slowing your breathing quickly raises the amount of oxytocin in the blood stream. This explains why a hypnotist can induce a trance faster by just having their subjects breathe slower.
C. It is the main reason hypnosis controls pain.
*****
4. Multi-colored LED lights portrayed the stars and constellations of the universe above them, bathing everything in a soft light. Two rows of burgundy colored couches lined the walls where large screen TVs hung. In the middle of the jet a full size bar rested with the words WISHES RESORT engraved in gold in a circle on the carpeting. Along the windows on both sides were rows of spacious and comfortable recliners, each with it's own LCD TV. {No wonder Jill is impressed.}
You leave this chapter with a powerful hook. What has Linda changed into? Does she now exist only as a spirit or ghost?
I want to read more to see ho you handle this metamorphosis?
Roger
Comment Written 01-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2009
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Thank you so much for your great review Roger and for catching those nasty spaggies. Thanks also for the info on oxytocin. It would have been better if it rose blood pressure and increased the pulse, but it can still work for the story. Such a wonderful review, thank you!
Steve
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I have not read this story up to this point. I can tellyou did a great job with characters. You're descriptions were very good as was your pacing. I didn't find any mechanical errors.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
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I have not read this story up to this point. I can tellyou did a great job with characters. You're descriptions were very good as was your pacing. I didn't find any mechanical errors.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review Barbara!
Steve
