Overdue Gratitude
To My Late Father17 total reviews
Comment from Mariea
Hello Fayesh. I think we all wish we'd voiced our love when we had the chance. A good read with easy flow.
Syntax - "A prince among men" a nice concept
Rhyme - Well done throughout.
Flow - Interupted slightly in the 3rd stanza. Perhaps if u substituted "to wait for" with "knowing there would be".
Emotion - A feeling of regret
Topic - A well worn topic but you've portrayed it well
Image - Of a girl needing the comfort of her father.
Regards Mia
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2009
Hello Fayesh. I think we all wish we'd voiced our love when we had the chance. A good read with easy flow.
Syntax - "A prince among men" a nice concept
Rhyme - Well done throughout.
Flow - Interupted slightly in the 3rd stanza. Perhaps if u substituted "to wait for" with "knowing there would be".
Emotion - A feeling of regret
Topic - A well worn topic but you've portrayed it well
Image - Of a girl needing the comfort of her father.
Regards Mia
Comment Written 30-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2009
-
Thank you for your very thorough review. I really don't want to change any of the wording because I was going for a consistent 7 syllable line.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
A nice tribute to your Dad. Reads well with plenty of emotion from you. The rhyme and rhythm flows well with love from you.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2009
A nice tribute to your Dad. Reads well with plenty of emotion from you. The rhyme and rhythm flows well with love from you.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2009
-
Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from luisestable
A simple poem about your father this is. There is no overpowering of emotions but just light facts about you dad, and by light I don`t maen trivial.
I like what you did with the stanzas: the lines and the rhyme.
Yes, we always want to be present when a dear one, a loved, dear one dies to say the final good-bye.
Take care. luis
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2009
A simple poem about your father this is. There is no overpowering of emotions but just light facts about you dad, and by light I don`t maen trivial.
I like what you did with the stanzas: the lines and the rhyme.
Yes, we always want to be present when a dear one, a loved, dear one dies to say the final good-bye.
Take care. luis
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2009
-
Thank you for taking the time to review my poem.
Comment from Srinivasan
I feel nostalgic and sentimental reading this poem. This is the first poem I read this morning and it has turned out to be a bit autobiographical. The III stanza presents my son's temperament when I am angry or when I scold him and this poem turns out to be more personal and close to heart. All the best.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2009
I feel nostalgic and sentimental reading this poem. This is the first poem I read this morning and it has turned out to be a bit autobiographical. The III stanza presents my son's temperament when I am angry or when I scold him and this poem turns out to be more personal and close to heart. All the best.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2009
-
Thank you for taking the time to review my poem.
Comment from Somer
Awwe. That was so sweet, it was very well written, and i loved it! Great work on writing it. I am sorry about your dad :(
Best Wishes
-Somer
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2009
Awwe. That was so sweet, it was very well written, and i loved it! Great work on writing it. I am sorry about your dad :(
Best Wishes
-Somer
Comment Written 29-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2009
-
Thank you for the encouraging review.
-
No Problem:)
Comment from Toller
This is a beautiful poem. I would give it 6 stars if I could. I don't think it needs any revision. Nice job. I enjoyed it.
Ashley
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2009
This is a beautiful poem. I would give it 6 stars if I could. I don't think it needs any revision. Nice job. I enjoyed it.
Ashley
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2009
-
Thank you for thinking so highly of my little poem.
Comment from darling
Fayesh...wow..what a fantastic piece...I am wiping the tears from my eyes as I write this review. It is sincere and heartfelt..what a blessing to have such a wonderful father and such lovely memories. If you have the chance, I would suggest adding a picture to your piece but honestly it really is powerful as it is...continued success and good luck on the contest! write on!
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2009
Fayesh...wow..what a fantastic piece...I am wiping the tears from my eyes as I write this review. It is sincere and heartfelt..what a blessing to have such a wonderful father and such lovely memories. If you have the chance, I would suggest adding a picture to your piece but honestly it really is powerful as it is...continued success and good luck on the contest! write on!
Comment Written 29-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2009
-
You can't imagine how much your generous review means to me, especially about this poem inspired by my late father.
Thank you very much