Comment from pinkbutterly

Excellent

I liked it. It is very well written, and quite realistic. The happy-ever-after stories will always like. And by the way, I didn't catch any spelling errors. Pretty good for no spell check! :)

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2009

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reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009

Thanks for the great review. :-)
Jani

Comment from Thesis

Excellent

You did a good job with the story, within the guidelines of the contest.

Your characters all played roles and the Troll became the recipient of Hilda's hand.

Good morals in the story- she stays true to her love, saying "no" tł the prince, before she realized it was in fact, the Troll.

Great ending. - Thesis

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2009

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reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009

Thanks for the great review. :-)
Jani

Comment from Blue Danube

Excellent

Janilou:

Thanks so much for posting this story.
I enjoyed reading it very much.

We live in such a world in which external apperance seems to have become vital to existence perhaps dimming to a certain extent the truly important values of friendship, peace and acceptance which includes One & All.

This is a great tale to pass on through generations.

Well done! Blue

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2009

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reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009

Thanks for the great review. :-)
Jani

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

What a lovely fantasy story that includes all the requisite characters of this flash fiction contest and uses them to tell a romantic and moving tale of where true beauty and love reside. I love the tender and happy ending!!! This is delightful. Brooke :-)

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2009

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reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009

Thanks for the great review. :-) I do so appreciate your kind words,
Hugs,
Jani

Comment from hyway94

Excellent

As always you have out done yourself. Even Butar would say this is a great story. I hope that you can win this. I know one thing you have my vote. Very good, no mistakes and what a great flow of words.

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2009

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reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009

Thanks for the great review. :-)
Jani

Comment from Perp Ihebom

Excellent

This is a nice, engaging and meaningful fairy tale. I commend your ability to keep it short, while not losing any important detail. kudos dear friend.

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2009

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reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009

Thanks for the great review. :-)
Jani

Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Excellent

What a lovely tale -- thoroughly
enjoyed it, Jani -- a real pleasure
to review.

plrasures
pleasures

kailedescope
kaleidoscope

Good luck with the contest, my friend.

Margaret.

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2009

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reply by the author on 06-Aug-2009

Thank you so much, Margaret. I have corrected the nits.
Much appreciated.
Jani

Comment from dihardest

Excellent

This is an innovative spin on the traditional fairy tale. Makes me wonder why there aren't more such transformations, but then there are The Brothers Grimm, and this wouldn't fit the morality lesson they would wish to teach.

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2009

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reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009

Thanks for the great review. :-)
Jani

Comment from Lady & Louis

Excellent

Who's the troll? :D

Delightful, Jani! Has a nice touch of Shrek about it, and reminds me of a story I read called Ugly and the Beast, which was also a happy-ever-after take on the old fantasy, with a nice twist. I like the fairytale setting (yes I know it's a fantasy contest but that isn't alway the same as fairytale) and I wasn't expecting Llort to be the troll, so that was a neat twist.

There are a few tweaks needed, when you get to your own PC:

His faithful wizard, Zorn, tugged on his wooly beard, held it to the light, and read, - two questions: is it necessary to describe Zorn's beard at all (bearing in mind this is flash fiction)? And if it is - it reads at present as if it's his beard that he holds up to the light to read!

until the Quafell feather is retrieved - the spelling varies between Quaffel and Quafell; which is right?

While Heaven's days were filled with days in the court, - "days" twice in a sentence; one needs to change. Perhaps something like "While Heaven's days were filled with courtly pleasures and many suitors' attentions,"?

"As your majesty knows, - "As Your Majesty knows,

Tweaks is all they are - it's a fine story and I enjoyed reading it. Good luck in the contest, hon, it's good to see you posting again!

Love,
Louise

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2009

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reply by the author on 06-Aug-2009

Thank you so much, Louise! I knew I should have asked you about the correct way to write Your Majesty. I have corrected every nit you mentioned. Really appreciate the review!
Hugs,
Jani

reply by Lady & Louis on 06-Aug-2009

LOL my pleasure, hon - it's now a five!

Louise xxxx

Comment from Nescher Pyscher

Excellent

It's a great piece, but it most emphatically ISN'T flash fiction. The twist was a little on the iight side, and the story isn't a puncher, biter or kicker. It's VERY moral and fairy-tale like, and I loved it, but you need to strip out a couple hundred words and punch up the ending quite a bit to make it a Flash Fiction piece, I think.

::Shrugs::

Just my opinion, though. Good luck in the contest!

:0)

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2009

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reply by the author on 06-Aug-2009

Well. geeze . . . remind me to squelch you! Oh, alright, I'll go find the nit comb and attack it.
Jani