Blood Relations - A Vampire Tale
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Dr. Jill Stenson"Some bloodlines run very deep.
24 total reviews
Comment from Vladilynn
Ok this is the chapter that I've missed to read!! i hope i've read all the other pages!! if not let me know.
This is the part about jill neh! Wow!! Stan really move a lot faster than I thought loll!
very nice chapter to read and well done!
Love much
Lynn:0)
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2009
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Ok this is the chapter that I've missed to read!! i hope i've read all the other pages!! if not let me know.
This is the part about jill neh! Wow!! Stan really move a lot faster than I thought loll!
very nice chapter to read and well done!
Love much
Lynn:0)
Comment Written 07-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2009
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Thank you so much Lynn! Where have you been? I've missed you. Welcome back!
Comment from jlsavell
Nightwriter sir, this story is getting even better. Albeit rather way out there, Stan must have hypnotized Dr.Jill adroitly to get her to succumb. Actually I could just see the whole scene. He must have look rather odd strapping her down to her desk. He took a risk, but hey he had control..bravoi to you for this chapter..jimi
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2009
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Nightwriter sir, this story is getting even better. Albeit rather way out there, Stan must have hypnotized Dr.Jill adroitly to get her to succumb. Actually I could just see the whole scene. He must have look rather odd strapping her down to her desk. He took a risk, but hey he had control..bravoi to you for this chapter..jimi
Comment Written 27-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2009
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Wow! A sixer! Thank you so much for this incredible review!!! :) Looks like you've been busy reading and I'm especially happy that you've enjoyed it all. Makes not only my day, but makes me feel like the magic of story telling is working. :) Thanks again!
Comment from Jnetgame
Interesting chapter. Since I haven't read your previous chapters, I wasn't expecting the vampire. This held my attention. I did notice a couple minor SPAGS:
What kind of person you are(did you mean are you?)?
I wan(want)you and I'll make it worth your while if you just give me a chance
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2009
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Interesting chapter. Since I haven't read your previous chapters, I wasn't expecting the vampire. This held my attention. I did notice a couple minor SPAGS:
What kind of person you are(did you mean are you?)?
I wan(want)you and I'll make it worth your while if you just give me a chance
Comment Written 19-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2009
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review and for catching those nasty SPAGS. I'm glad you enjoyed it even though you weren't expecting a vampire tale. Deep down at it's core, it's really a love story, but one with a little bite to it, LOL. Thanks again for reading.
Steve
Comment from Tellis
Man he works fast doesn't he. I hope the bad aliens don't get him before they have a chance to warn him. LoL I really enjoy reading this story.
Tellis
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2009
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Man he works fast doesn't he. I hope the bad aliens don't get him before they have a chance to warn him. LoL I really enjoy reading this story.
Tellis
Comment Written 17-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2009
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LOL! I think Stan is fast because he doesn't want to stay in that frigid cold any longer than he has to. Thank you so much for this wonderful review!
Comment from Jonez08
Great chapter, Steve. I look forward to seeing how Jill ties into the story. I'm not sure Lori will appreciate Stan leaning Jill over the desk and biting her...hmmm. I can't wait to see where you're going with this. Good ending.
(As) she left the room, Stan admired the many degrees
(suggest: After)
A tall woman wearing a grey doctor's uniform and stethoscope (wrapped) around her neck
(not needed--wrapped and around means pretty much the same thing)
she motioned for him to sit in the (red chair) opposite her.
(red chair not needed because you already described it in the sentence before this one, I recommend: she motioned for him to sit opposite her)
She folded her hands in front of her(,) resting them on the desk.
You came here to ask me this in person? Look ... Stan, right?"
"Yes(.)"
Cassandra
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2009
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Great chapter, Steve. I look forward to seeing how Jill ties into the story. I'm not sure Lori will appreciate Stan leaning Jill over the desk and biting her...hmmm. I can't wait to see where you're going with this. Good ending.
(As) she left the room, Stan admired the many degrees
(suggest: After)
A tall woman wearing a grey doctor's uniform and stethoscope (wrapped) around her neck
(not needed--wrapped and around means pretty much the same thing)
she motioned for him to sit in the (red chair) opposite her.
(red chair not needed because you already described it in the sentence before this one, I recommend: she motioned for him to sit opposite her)
She folded her hands in front of her(,) resting them on the desk.
You came here to ask me this in person? Look ... Stan, right?"
"Yes(.)"
Cassandra
Comment Written 17-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2009
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Thank you so much Cassandra for this wonderful and encouraging review! Sometimes I don't know where the story's going until it's on paper. I have a general idea and direction, but then the characters take over and the ride begins, LOL. I'll probably add more to the bite scene, but within limits. Stan's loyalty to Lori is strong. But the effects of the venom on Jill could make for an interesting piece, LOL. Thanks again for your wonderful review and helpful suggestions. BTW, any news on any of your works getting published? Any new stories in the works? I love reading your stories. :)
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You're welcome, Steve. I'm still editing my first romance, and it's taking sooo long. My next novel will be a romance and I can't wait to post it, but I'm committing to finish editing at least one novel before posting another. Of course I still have Mirror of Deception to edit as well...Our work is never done.
I will be posting a story for a contest today or tomorrow. I miss talking with you!
Cassandra
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Same here. :)
Have a nice weekend. It's a bit cool here in Wisconsin with temps in the fifties. Nothing beats Mother Nature's air conditioning, LOL.
Steve
Comment from Mountainstar2
This is a very interesting story chapter. I only want to read more and more. I feel the story is very much like real life and well detailed story content. One of my favorites to read and also review. Now only to look forward to the next chapter. I did enjoy this one....
I feel this story can make it to a book for a best seller list. Or on the screen as a interesting movie. I've watched sci-fi all my life and this one is written well enough to make it.....
This is a very well written and believeable story indeed.
Now on to the next chapter and looking forward to this one very much so...
MOuntainstar2..
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2009
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This is a very interesting story chapter. I only want to read more and more. I feel the story is very much like real life and well detailed story content. One of my favorites to read and also review. Now only to look forward to the next chapter. I did enjoy this one....
I feel this story can make it to a book for a best seller list. Or on the screen as a interesting movie. I've watched sci-fi all my life and this one is written well enough to make it.....
This is a very well written and believeable story indeed.
Now on to the next chapter and looking forward to this one very much so...
MOuntainstar2..
Comment Written 17-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2009
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Thank you so much for your incredible encouragement and wonderful feedback Mountainstar2! Nothing would please me more than to see this story come to life on the big screen. :) Maybe one day.
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You are very welcome. Don't ever give up because you can make it there. I am here to encourage and would have it no other way. I can assure you of that much in my life. Blessings...MS2..
Comment from babylonia
steve,
another great chapter. looks like he found someone to replace linda. i'm guessing he doesn't watch tv. LOL
easy to read and follow. some spaggies.
A tall woman wearing a grey doctor's uniform (do you mean scrubs?)
I would be happy to refer you (add to) another good doctor here at the clinic."
it's actually a mega resort in Daytona, (no comma) Beach
Stan lowered his head and guided her head (change her head to hers) to the left
imagery is excellent. can't wait to read more.
love,
barbara
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2009
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steve,
another great chapter. looks like he found someone to replace linda. i'm guessing he doesn't watch tv. LOL
easy to read and follow. some spaggies.
A tall woman wearing a grey doctor's uniform (do you mean scrubs?)
I would be happy to refer you (add to) another good doctor here at the clinic."
it's actually a mega resort in Daytona, (no comma) Beach
Stan lowered his head and guided her head (change her head to hers) to the left
imagery is excellent. can't wait to read more.
love,
barbara
Comment Written 17-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2009
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Hi Barbara and thank you so much for your wonderful review! I know what you mean about the doctor's uniform. You see doctors wearing them all the time. They're either grey or white. I selected the word uniform based on what we call a nurses uniform. Scrubs to me sound like the clothing worn during surgery. Good thought though. I'll think about it over the weekend. Thank you for catching these nasty spaggies! Your eagle eye is unbelievably accurate and razor sharp!
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steve,
when i was in nursing, the nurses wore uniforms unless they worked OR, ICU, CCU ... any of the "emergency" departments. i hated it. i was always getting stuff on them that didn't seem to want to come out. at one point i had a job working for a doctor. i was allowed to wear a scrub shirt. i loved it. now all nurses wear scrubs. you can get different colors and styles. they are great. but whatever you decide, i will back you.
love,
barbara
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You got me thinking so I searched the web and liked what I saw. Scrubs works! I saw a picture of a doctor wearing dark blue scrubs,with a stethescope around her neck and she had long blonde hair. Was it fate, LOL. And she even looked around 35!!! She looked like my Jill character. :)
The change will be out there with the next update this weekend.
Thank you for making me think!
Steve
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steve,
you are welcome. at first i started not to say anything. let someone else comment but then i just couldn't let it go. LOL well, my brain couldn't. glad i could help.
love,
barbara
Comment from angel of the quill
oooh goody a nwe person to study and enjoy
i liked how you introduced it and kept them involved
great characters with a mild flaw which makes them all the more dear
because they become more realistic
good work
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2009
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oooh goody a nwe person to study and enjoy
i liked how you introduced it and kept them involved
great characters with a mild flaw which makes them all the more dear
because they become more realistic
good work
Comment Written 17-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2009
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Thank you so much for your awesome review and continued support and interest! Jill will be an exciting addition and who knows what new things she'll bring to the story. Thanks again!
Comment from Sarabran
This is an outstanding job with a melodrama about the vampire. It took a lot of imagination to write this story. I really enjoyed reading it, and look forward to reading more chapters. Sara
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2009
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This is an outstanding job with a melodrama about the vampire. It took a lot of imagination to write this story. I really enjoyed reading it, and look forward to reading more chapters. Sara
Comment Written 17-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2009
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Thank you so much Sara for your wonderful review and such encouragement! It means a lot to hear such compliments. :)
Steve
Comment from EllieKaye
Wow-what a fantastic chapter! It is so believable. You have a gift for dialogue and the scene in the doctor's office was so believable. I had it playing out in my head. The doctor's apprehansion was spot on.
Great job!
:)Ellie
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2009
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Wow-what a fantastic chapter! It is so believable. You have a gift for dialogue and the scene in the doctor's office was so believable. I had it playing out in my head. The doctor's apprehansion was spot on.
Great job!
:)Ellie
Comment Written 17-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2009
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Thank you so much Ellie for your awsome review and encouragement! :)
Steve
