Comment from findingmyroom

Excellent

Oh, no, the lovebirds are in jeopardy? This chapter is different than any other but handled just as well. Looking forward to more!

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2009

---

reply by the author on 10-Sep-2009

Thank you so much! Yes, more in the works, LOL.

Comment from Vladilynn

Excellent

Ohhhhh..Stan and Lori was a real lovers afterwards...they test the spicies of love(fights) lmao.

But sometimes harsh words comes out if your mad even you didn't mean at all.:0(

But what?? Lori ordered to kill linda??? hmmmm....well if that's the only last option they got on that time.
Hopefully that Stan will understand later on that's for them...but if Lori didn't ordered it. Is Stan still choose not to kill her? Instead let Lori and Brooke die same as he if she'll...but I doubt that Linda had a piece killing him at all. She might kill everyone else but not Stan.

Ohhhh well~ another wonderful piece you shared us!!

Thank you so much and sorry for being late
Love much

Lynn ( ^ ____________ ^ )
Nicely Done Steeve!

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2009

---

reply by the author on 12-Jul-2009

Hi Lynn and thank you so much for your wonderful and encouraging review! Oh I agree, Linda wouldn't hurt Stan, but Brook and Lori she would have drained dry given the chance, LOL. Thanks again! I'm hard at work on the next chapter.

Steve

Comment from babylonia

Excellent

steve,
i'd say poor stan is more confused than ever. poor guy. i don't blame him for being angry. lori has some real trust issues. he told her he would take care of things and she didn't believe him. she wanted to control destiny. yeah, stan needs people that know his secret. how many really do? i'm guessing it is VERY few.
easy to read and follow. some spaggies.

what's important. (comma, lower case c) Catching a killer that's

I threw it all away (comma) didn't I?

My, God (put comma after God) that was too close

imagery is excellent.
love,
barbara

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2009

---

reply by the author on 08-Jul-2009

Thank you so much for another wonderful review Barbara! You really follow the story. You are exactly right, only very few trusted and close people know his secret. It could be deadly if his secret ever got out. It's part of why he's involved in the hiring process and why he selects those down on their luck or health. He needs them to need him so they don't jeapordize his cover. Thanks!

reply by babylonia on 08-Jul-2009

yeah, that's what i thought. so it definitely begs the question ... exactly how many people know his secret? LOL i'm guessing that technically you don't even know but we will see.
love,
barbara

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

all of this personal stuff is emotionally trying enough - and now all those UFO's over Romania? Well, this is sure going to test all that Stan has in him. He is quite petulant - what did he expect Lori to do? She was trying to protect herself and everyone else. I certainly hope they patch things up fast. Brooke

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2009

---

reply by the author on 06-Jul-2009

Thank you so much for your wonderful review Brooke. I suspect Stan will return soon. :)

Comment from angel of the quill

Excellent

wonderful chapter gone too soon
yet it was strong romantic flow in the background
makes it all more the powerful and emotional
great work.. keep it up

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2009

---

reply by the author on 06-Jul-2009

Thank you so much for this wonderful review and your continued support and encouragement! More on the way, LOL.

Comment from *erin*

Excellent

Excuse my mistake, it was Linda who died, not Lori. Got the names mixed up. Another great chapter. Can't wait to find out what happens next. Great writing, no mistakes that I could find. Great job.

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2009

---

reply by the author on 06-Jul-2009

Hi Erin,

Thank you so much for your wonderful and encouraging review! I mix Lori and Linda up sometimes too, but that won't be the case soon. Thanks again! :)

Steve

Comment from Gert sherwood

Excellent

Hi NIghtWriter,
Wow looks like you are trying to end the story too fast.

Loads of action going on Lori has lost Stan and he seems in some kind of trouble with ( I believe his friends coming to look for him with space ships.
God knows what will happen to Stan when they find him,
and I don't like the idea of Lori being by herself.

Gert

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2009

---

reply by the author on 05-Jul-2009

Hi Gert and thank you so much for your wonderful review! We're not ending this story for a long time, at least I don't think so, LOL. Lori won't be alone for long and the aliens won't find Stan. But there are challenges ahead of them which help keep the story alive and moving. :) In the next chapter we'll learn how Stan solicits his top employees and gets them to swear to secrecy. It promises to be another fun ride. Thanks again!

reply by Gert sherwood on 05-Jul-2009

You are Welcome
will see you later.
Gert If you get a chance I reposted a poem that I made revisions on
( I Will Wait) . It's a spiritual poem
Gert

reply by the author on 05-Jul-2009

Thanks! I'll look for it.

Steve

Comment from K-Patrick

Excellent

Here's what I have, but I don't have time to read second part (UFOs) - Off to work - no rest for keepers. I like it, but it might have happened too fast, I'll give the whole thing another go ASAP - I like it a lot, but needs more emotion..

Her voice grew louder, "You're gonna what? Listen, I'm not taking the fall for this alone. Hello? Damn him!" -- Add more suspense in it! -- Her voice grew louder, "You're gonna what? Yeah well listen, I'm not taking the fall for this alone. Hello? Hello ... Damn him!"

"Don't lie," Brook replied.
"I'll talk with you later, okay?" ---Fluff it make the scene alive. Real. --- "Lori, please don't to lie to me," Brook replied.
"Wha ... I'll talk with you later. In private, okay?"

--- THEN They all hugged?? Huh? Lori's world is about to come crashing down she just lied to Brook and she's got time to hug a normal hug? If she's gonna hug, make it a short curt out the door ceremonial hug. IF you think she would hug. A better angle would be for Brook to attempt a hug, but Lori being preoccupied with 'the thing' turns and leaves.

"Stan, honey. Please, let's not end this way." [Lori took several hurried steps toward Stan]
---
[He raised his hand, halting her approach] "I need to get away. Don't come near me." He walked away.


Lori watched in shock while he left. "Stan!" Tears streamed down her face as she fell to her knees and cried. -- very good!


"He called off our wedding. He broke our engagement," Lori cried. --
"He did? I'll talk to him and tell him it was all my fault." --- Chuck was in the room with them, right?

Lori cried, "Stan and I had a terrible fight. [He's gone!]"

****SECOND PART*****

Pretty damn good! Excellent hook at the end.


Don't know. There's more." -- "What?" -- "Linda's Will leaves everything to Stan and makes him the sole executor of her estate. He needs to return to plan her funeral arrangements and sign documents." -- "I'd say that's news." -- "There's [even or some or something else] more."
RE: sole executor - just executor or maybe sole beneficiary. The man's loaded, he can have those papers sent anywhere in the world pretty much over night. He would have to be in contact with the lawyer, surrogate court and funeral home handling the arrangements - somewhere to start looking?

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2009

---

reply by the author on 05-Jul-2009

As always, your reviews are right on (and appreciated). Excellent suggestions which I will put to use today. Thank you so much for your wonderful review and helpful suggestions!

Comment from Sasha

Excellent

Another cliffhanger!! This is moving very quickly and keeping me on the edge of my chair. The fact that Lori killed Lind did not surprise me, but what did she mean by "if we change our story now it will only make things worse?" Leaves a lot for me to think about.

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2009

---

reply by the author on 05-Jul-2009

Thank you so much for your wonderful review! Good for you in seeing Lori's side. What Lori meant was to lie and change the story now would make Stan angrier. She wanted the truth to be the story and to not try and cover anything up. There's a lot going on, but that's what keeps the story alive, LOL. Thanks again for your review. :)

Comment from jlsavell

Excellent

Nightwriter, this too would be well worth great stars. I am so surprised. You just hit us with a bang, So much going on here, Wonderful twist and turns..I am so anxious to see how this plays out..very anxious..bravo to you!!!! jimi

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2009

---

reply by the author on 05-Jul-2009

Thank you so much for your wonderful and always encouraging review Jimi! With the holiday I had a little more time to write so once I got started it was hard to stop, LOL. The Muse was going nuts, (it still is). :)

This chapter was a little sad to write, but it remains true to the story. You develop feelings with your characters and it pained me to see Lori get hurt. When I felt her heart breaking, I knew I had a moving story here.

Thanks again!

Steve

reply by jlsavell on 05-Jul-2009

oh did your muse keep you up????? Quite the seductress..

reply by the author on 05-Jul-2009

How did you know! I seem to write better on three hours of sleep, LOL. I like how you think of my Muse as a seductress! I never thought of my Muse like that, in fact never even thought of it as a male or female, just presence of something, but I really love that vision. Hmmm, it does make sense, LOL. She and Fata should get together one day and share notes!

reply by jlsavell on 05-Jul-2009

well you said yourself your muse was going nuts..making you stir crazy..now depending what side of the fence you are on..and I have a feeling I know what side you bask in...your muse is femininely seductive..how else could you write like this..eheheheeheeheeeheeheeheeheeheeheehe

Fata, well she is just an entity all her own..what can I say. She is in and of itself some kind of muse. For me she is my altar ego...there is something in every woman that wants to be alluring, seductive, confident, impish with a slight touch of innocent evil!!!!!! LOL

Do not let people in on my secret..ok???? or I will have to send dear dear Fata after your muse!!!!!

reply by the author on 05-Jul-2009

Well said.