Comment from frelanz

Excellent

Cute poem...well written...great photo, cute bug/grasshopper!!! Nice to read and it is perfect how it is. Nothing needs to be changed or reworded. Great how it is. Well done :-)

Dawn

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2009

the bug in the photo is a katydid :-) Thanks so much for your delightful review, Dawn. B rooke :-)

Comment from jadedgemini2

Excellent

Some find it hard to sleep with nature's nightly music because they say it is beautiful-I, on the other hand, can't sleep because it drives me nuts! *LOL*
I think you did a good job (regardless of which way you go with the whole awake thing). I enjoyed the read!
Jaded:)

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2009

Thanks so much, Jaded - usually I love their songs, but sometimes it does keep me from returning to sleep :-) Brooke

Comment from Robbi Kayser-Stange

Excellent

Boy, oh boy have I been there a few hundred or so nights, but how I miss the sounds of the night now. Fewer frogs add to the pm chorus too. I like the flow, the rhythm, the picture the words bring to mind, and the noisy bug that stands so annoy us above. A nice read. Well done. Robbi

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2009

Thanks so much, Robbi - I appreciate your kind words. Brooke :-)

reply by Robbi Kayser-Stange on 06-Jul-2009

Another excellent read. The pleasure was mine. Robbi

Comment from MariJo

Excellent

Very well written and the imagery was excellant. I flows well to create a perfect Tanka. I don't see any room for improvement.

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 05-Jul-2009

Thank you for your thoughtful comments about my tanka. Brooke :-)

Comment from LauraKatherine

Excellent

Sorry I haven't reviewed your poetry as much lately; I was out of town for a while and the only available internet access was in the hotel lobby (and usually being used by some kid playing an online game!) Finally getting back into the loop. :)

I really like the use of "cacophonous" here. It sets up the rhythm, sound and theme of the tanka in one cool word, and emphasizes the rest of the "c" sound words: calls, katydids, crickets, crowd, cannot. It's also got a nice choppy rhythm which works with the theme of the disturbing night sounds and the narrator's insomnia. (I'm having a bit of cacophony in my living room now as my 22 month old attempts to put on shoes at least a size too small and hops around like an angry kangaroo.)

Nice use of the contrasting sound of a smooth & quiet "s": silence, slip, sleep. The "c" sounds are fighting with the "s" sounds (theme-wise). Score: C=1, S=0.

I liked this photo and this tanka! Good work. I can't see anything to quibble over. :)

Laura

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 05-Jul-2009

Laura, I totally understand your absence - I was thrilled to see a new chapter of your book. I can just see your toddler hopping around in frustration :-D Thanks so much for your usual attention to detail :-) Brooke

Comment from IndianaIrish

Excellent

I enjoyed your tanka poem, Brooke, and just last night was commenting on the cricket orchestra. I can sleep through anything and have never been kept awake by critter songs. Hope you got to sleep eventually.
Indy :>)

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 05-Jul-2009

Thanks, Karyn. I usually love the sound and sleep well - and all is well now :-) Brooke

Comment from dtimes3

Excellent

Nicely done. Having lived in Arizona I can attest to the unruly crickets at night. Solid imagery and strong lines. Interesting picture - it appears the cricket is sitting on a piece of jewelry.

Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 05-Jul-2009

it is actually a katydid in the picture - I think it said it was on a piece of glass in the blurb at fan art. Thanks so much. Brooke :-)

Comment from tonydem

Excellent

I know exactly what you mean. My home borders conservation lands and wetlands. So I have my share of noisy creatures.
They may be a little loud sometimes but I find the sounds relaxing. I have crickets in my basement sometimes. I usually find them and return them to nature. I rarely harm anything I find in my house. Great little poem. You always get me thinking. And in a good way too.
As Always
Tony

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 05-Jul-2009

In the basement - that is considered extremely lucky to have them within your hearth! :-) I usually love the sound too - but sometimes at 3 am it gets to me LOL Thanks so much. Brooke

Comment from steevie

Excellent

i remember as a kid hearing the crikets at night making their usual sounds
it never kept me awake, bu then nothing,whenI was a kid kept me awake, oh to have those time return, and your poem reminded me of those simpler days, why can't we have them back?
actually,Brooke, my comments just gave me an idea for a poem, thanks in advance for your unknowing inspiration lol

steve

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 05-Jul-2009

I'm so glad you were inspired!! and yes, as a kid, I could sleep through earthquakes :-) Thanks, Steve. Brooke :-)

reply by steevie on 05-Jul-2009

youre welcome
steve

Comment from perunest

Excellent

I really like the alliteration here,
where in the first part it reminds one
of the sounds of katydids and crickets,
and later it has the soft "s" reminding
one of sleep. Nicely done! Carolyn

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 04-Jul-2009

Thank you for noticing the composition of the poem, Carolyn, as that was exactly my intent!!! Brooke