Comment from Hitcher

Excellent

This one claws its way out of the screen and into your mind, some say that some victims have there own sent and the deviants can hone in on it and then the games begin.
You did a great job here Mike, the mind is a dangerous place, You been watching American psycho?

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2009

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2009

lol, I do admire that film; he elegantly captures the attitude at the end of 'are you nuts? so what if it's in my mind? I'm still a killer! I've still done these things!' etc etc.

I saw this as a way to write from a dark perspective, and make a point at the same time. Glad you enjoyed the read, mate :-)

Mike

Comment from Sasha

Excellent

WOW! This is powerful. Strong, frightening descriptions that provide vivid imagery for the reader. The ending is both shocking and tragic. This sends a powerful message too. Very, very well done.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2009

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2009

Thank you Smurphgirl. I was going for dark yet meaningful, and it seems to have hit the right notes with people. I think all the comedy I've written recently made me want to do something a bit more serious. Thank you for the great review.

Mike

Comment from babylonia

Excellent

mike,
i think you ask some very good questions. i remember when rape victims were still considered the instigators. "yes, constable, the eighty-year-old nun covered in black from head to toe wanted to be shagged. i could see it in her eyes." then there are those who fail victimization simply cause they didn't get what they wanted. "yes, i know i was robbing the man's house but that gave him no reason to break both my legs with a baseball bat." we live in a crazy world. i love your poem.
love,
barbara

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2009

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2009

Thank you Barbara. It's a slice of darkness for me after my short slew of comedy, and a chance to explore some thoughts about crime and how it's perceived. I'm glad it came across so well.

Mike

reply by babylonia on 28-Jun-2009

mike,
i understand. after writing one style for a while i sometimes need to sidetrack to something else for a while. good job.
love,
barbara

Comment from Judian James

Excellent

This is a very intelligent piece. I especially admire and respect a smart poet. You have many good lines here Mike.
"I followed her through wrong and right
despite the danger there.
Her heaven scent was wafting and
My gaze swallowed her hair"
just superb vision and conveyance. excellent Mike no six to give

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2009

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2009

Thank you, Jude. I wrote this on a pensive train journey home from work on Friday. It's exploring a thought, and thankfully nobody has read it as me being dark for the sake of it :-)

Mike

Comment from Tellis

Excellent

This poem about victims is very well put. The victim often gets treated like it's their fault. I enjoyed reading this well written poem.

Tellis

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 Comment Written 27-Jun-2009

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2009

Thank you Tellis. I'm glad it came across so well.

Mike

Comment from Domino

Excellent

Hi, Mike. I found this line the only one out of beat;

'My gaze swallowed her hair.' - makbe;
'My gaze engulfed her hair' - also adds alliteration?

Great way of turning the guilt onto the innocent (whether believed or to ease a consciounce). Some say the thought is as bad as the deed - what crap! I'd be locked up twice a day. LOL.

Great flow and thought put into this and much appreciated by me. You WEIRDO! LMAO!
Ray xx


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 Comment Written 27-Jun-2009

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2009

Yeah, I'd hate to be in a society where we could be convicted by our thoughts. It's like the whole paedophile argument (not that I'm advocating paedophilia for a second, obviously!). Should it be a crime just to think a youngster is attractive? It certainly seems to be at the moment. Surely it's only a crime if the person acts on it. As you say, we all have dark thoughts. It's how we handle them that makes the difference.

Mike

reply by Domino on 28-Jun-2009

Amen to that, Mike. Some of us are honest enough to admit we're human, and others PRETEND they're perfect. Thank goodness we have human constraint and compassion (well, thankfully most of us).
xx