A to Z Alliteration
Fun with words.17 total reviews
Comment from Summer Falls
Lee, lordy, lots of lilting laughter lifted from my larynx!
I adored this! You should make this into a children's alphabet book! It would have the tots laughing and I sure bet the parents would enjoy it as well.
I cannot praise this enough.
Here were my favorites:
On Friday the Fourth of July, Frances went to the fair to focus on the fireworks. She fried fish and French fries and invited some fun friends. The flashes fired up the firmament.
[I loved this!]
The November night needed a knight with the knowledge of the knot. The noble knight knew the enigma. He unknotted the knot. The kind was kept alive.
[how do you do it? You tell a story with just a few words! LOL]
Uncle Underwood understood that standing under the umbrella in his underwear was unusual. The undertaker used his uniform for the umpire. The unfortunate uncle unfurled the umbrella. [This one had me rolling!]
Wilbur Willoby waded in waist-deep waves watching the wistful nymph water ski with the whale. The wizened wizard and the walrus with a wig waddled on their wobbly way. Wilbur wondered, "Where were they walking?" [Lee, this one was my favorite]
Good luck!
Summer
reply by the author on 16-May-2009
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Lee, lordy, lots of lilting laughter lifted from my larynx!
I adored this! You should make this into a children's alphabet book! It would have the tots laughing and I sure bet the parents would enjoy it as well.
I cannot praise this enough.
Here were my favorites:
On Friday the Fourth of July, Frances went to the fair to focus on the fireworks. She fried fish and French fries and invited some fun friends. The flashes fired up the firmament.
[I loved this!]
The November night needed a knight with the knowledge of the knot. The noble knight knew the enigma. He unknotted the knot. The kind was kept alive.
[how do you do it? You tell a story with just a few words! LOL]
Uncle Underwood understood that standing under the umbrella in his underwear was unusual. The undertaker used his uniform for the umpire. The unfortunate uncle unfurled the umbrella. [This one had me rolling!]
Wilbur Willoby waded in waist-deep waves watching the wistful nymph water ski with the whale. The wizened wizard and the walrus with a wig waddled on their wobbly way. Wilbur wondered, "Where were they walking?" [Lee, this one was my favorite]
Good luck!
Summer
Comment Written 16-May-2009
reply by the author on 16-May-2009
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From you this is a very special review. Thanks for the positive review.
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Seriously, A book, woman! A book! :)
Comment from adewpearl
This is great fun, and I predict children will love it! I love it. What a great way to highlight the alphabet with humor but without the usual poetic format of children's alphabet books. This is also far more creative than the usual - A is for apple B is for bird etc etc.
the uncle standing under the umbrella in his underwear - what kid won't giggle at that thought?
the ostrich eating oyster omelets - this is all so much fun to imagine and visualize - the illustrations for a book could be extraordinary. Brooke
reply by the author on 16-May-2009
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This is great fun, and I predict children will love it! I love it. What a great way to highlight the alphabet with humor but without the usual poetic format of children's alphabet books. This is also far more creative than the usual - A is for apple B is for bird etc etc.
the uncle standing under the umbrella in his underwear - what kid won't giggle at that thought?
the ostrich eating oyster omelets - this is all so much fun to imagine and visualize - the illustrations for a book could be extraordinary. Brooke
Comment Written 16-May-2009
reply by the author on 16-May-2009
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I am so glad you like it. My goal was to create a picture for each letter.
Comment from Matt9537
Never read anything quite like this before!!!
I was pleastly suprised though - it all made sense! I think this is a great entry to the contest and that it is great for children too - espically with the story for XY and Z!
My only critism is that it wpulve been nice if they could link up. So the story carried all the way through...
Good luck though!
reply by the author on 16-May-2009
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Never read anything quite like this before!!!
I was pleastly suprised though - it all made sense! I think this is a great entry to the contest and that it is great for children too - espically with the story for XY and Z!
My only critism is that it wpulve been nice if they could link up. So the story carried all the way through...
Good luck though!
Comment Written 16-May-2009
reply by the author on 16-May-2009
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You are the second person who talked about linking. Thanks for the positive feedback. Let me ask you a question. When you read ABC books are the letters connected. My experience is that each letter has a page and stands alone. Please let me know what you think?
Comment from thorney
Hi there eliz100. A very good, clever story and tuitive story for children.
Here are some 'nits' which need correcting.
The elephant elevated her egg adorned hat. - egg-adorned.
The giraffe was agape, (2)Gosh! What a good goal,(")
He said, "() This is a one and only opal.(")
"Can the people paint in the park?(")
"Whe()re were they walking?"
She yelped when she saw the yardful of yaks. - yard full.
Excellent work. Well Done.
Regards, Pete.
reply by the author on 16-May-2009
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Hi there eliz100. A very good, clever story and tuitive story for children.
Here are some 'nits' which need correcting.
The elephant elevated her egg adorned hat. - egg-adorned.
The giraffe was agape, (2)Gosh! What a good goal,(")
He said, "() This is a one and only opal.(")
"Can the people paint in the park?(")
"Whe()re were they walking?"
She yelped when she saw the yardful of yaks. - yard full.
Excellent work. Well Done.
Regards, Pete.
Comment Written 16-May-2009
reply by the author on 16-May-2009
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Thanks for the feedback.
Comment from ibex
Well done... certainly within the framework of the contest. The imagery is especially vivid and enjoyable. One could hope for some transitional device to connect the imagery, but as that was not stipulated in the contest the vividness of imagery will have to do. However, it should be noted that with the addition of some transitional material, the piece could be constructed as an entertaining children's story.
reply by the author on 16-May-2009
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Well done... certainly within the framework of the contest. The imagery is especially vivid and enjoyable. One could hope for some transitional device to connect the imagery, but as that was not stipulated in the contest the vividness of imagery will have to do. However, it should be noted that with the addition of some transitional material, the piece could be constructed as an entertaining children's story.
Comment Written 16-May-2009
reply by the author on 16-May-2009
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Thank you for the feedback and the positive review.
Comment from hagalaz
This must have taken you quite some time to write. It's very creative and I love the use of adjectives. I'm impressed you were able to find so many words for letters like "X" or "Q". This is fun to read or say out loud (if you can). Great job!!
reply by the author on 16-May-2009
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This must have taken you quite some time to write. It's very creative and I love the use of adjectives. I'm impressed you were able to find so many words for letters like "X" or "Q". This is fun to read or say out loud (if you can). Great job!!
Comment Written 16-May-2009
reply by the author on 16-May-2009
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Thank you for the positive review. It was fun to do
Comment from Dianemae
This is a wonderful play with words. I can visualize children laughing as the story is read outloud to them. I liked the 'J' and 'O' the best, but they were all very clever.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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reply by the author on 16-May-2009
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This is a wonderful play with words. I can visualize children laughing as the story is read outloud to them. I liked the 'J' and 'O' the best, but they were all very clever.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-May-2009
reply by the author on 16-May-2009
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Thank you for the positive review.
