A to Z Alliteration
Fun with words.17 total reviews
Comment from Rottie
You had alot of alliterations in here that for sure! But it read like a Beatles movie, up here, down there any where, here we are. What I just said was weird and confusing.
That is how your story read. It was like being in a dream where ninety different things happening at once and none of them were related to each other. I tried to read it a second time and still got lost. I'm not saying it's a bad , for an abstract it's perfect. It's like a bunch of sentences bunched together, each having their own alliterations but not telling a story. Since it is highly possible it's just me, I'm giving you a four. I'm sorry, I just didn't see a coherent story here.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-May-2009
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You had alot of alliterations in here that for sure! But it read like a Beatles movie, up here, down there any where, here we are. What I just said was weird and confusing.
That is how your story read. It was like being in a dream where ninety different things happening at once and none of them were related to each other. I tried to read it a second time and still got lost. I'm not saying it's a bad , for an abstract it's perfect. It's like a bunch of sentences bunched together, each having their own alliterations but not telling a story. Since it is highly possible it's just me, I'm giving you a four. I'm sorry, I just didn't see a coherent story here.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-May-2009
reply by the author on 27-May-2009
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I see it as an ABC book for children with many pictures added and a letter on each page. Thanks for your honest review.
Comment from Phil Kitom
My goodness you certainly went to town with this poem... If people didn't know the alphabet before, then they cetainly do now.. Excellent contest entry
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
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My goodness you certainly went to town with this poem... If people didn't know the alphabet before, then they cetainly do now.. Excellent contest entry
Comment Written 18-May-2009
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
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Thank you very much for the positive review.
Comment from Martha Rose
This is a LOT of fun. I enjoyed reading. It would be great for kids. Very clever and very enjoyable.
I wish you luck in the competition.
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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This is a LOT of fun. I enjoyed reading. It would be great for kids. Very clever and very enjoyable.
I wish you luck in the competition.
Comment Written 17-May-2009
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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Thank you for your positive review.
Comment from Blaidd Drwg
Terrific contest entry. Could also make a great childres's book.
"A hippo hopping is hilarious" - yes, it is. :)
I was thinking that "X" might have some trouble, but your "X" alliteration was very clever.
Regards,
John
Utterly charming!
John
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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Terrific contest entry. Could also make a great childres's book.
"A hippo hopping is hilarious" - yes, it is. :)
I was thinking that "X" might have some trouble, but your "X" alliteration was very clever.
Regards,
John
Utterly charming!
John
Comment Written 17-May-2009
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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Thank you for the positive review.
Comment from anabelle
This is amazing. I especially liked the M and the Q sentences.
I am amazed at the rhythm that forms when you read it. This is my first exposure to this type of presentation and I really like it.
Absolutely no suggestions for improvement.
Well done and good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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This is amazing. I especially liked the M and the Q sentences.
I am amazed at the rhythm that forms when you read it. This is my first exposure to this type of presentation and I really like it.
Absolutely no suggestions for improvement.
Well done and good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 17-May-2009
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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Thank you for the positive review.
Comment from William Walz
This is really great. The amount of alliteration used is truly staggering. And just about all of it works. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but who cares? You have taken your abilities to a new level with this, and I didn't even find more than one or two punctuation errors--not even worth mentioning. Most enjoyable.
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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This is really great. The amount of alliteration used is truly staggering. And just about all of it works. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but who cares? You have taken your abilities to a new level with this, and I didn't even find more than one or two punctuation errors--not even worth mentioning. Most enjoyable.
Comment Written 17-May-2009
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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Thank you for the positive review.
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
This is very well done many tongue twisters all in one piece that is very creative I enjoyed and I am sure many other readers will too good luck regards Fuller
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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This is very well done many tongue twisters all in one piece that is very creative I enjoyed and I am sure many other readers will too good luck regards Fuller
Comment Written 17-May-2009
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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Thank you for the positive review.
Comment from KYPollard/El Gato
this is well written and creative, using each letter of the alphabet. however, to me this is more like a poem and not a story with a beginning, middle and ending. the contest calls for a story. maybe you can incorporate a protagonist within these lines. good luck in the contest. the alliteration is exceptional.
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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this is well written and creative, using each letter of the alphabet. however, to me this is more like a poem and not a story with a beginning, middle and ending. the contest calls for a story. maybe you can incorporate a protagonist within these lines. good luck in the contest. the alliteration is exceptional.
Comment Written 17-May-2009
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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Thanks for the review.
Comment from Jnetgame
Cute aliteration story. This could not have been easy to write but I think you did a great job. Since it is for children, be careful of the vocabulary your use. Works like delectable delicacies and firmament might be too advanced. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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Cute aliteration story. This could not have been easy to write but I think you did a great job. Since it is for children, be careful of the vocabulary your use. Works like delectable delicacies and firmament might be too advanced. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-May-2009
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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Thanks for the positive review.
Comment from patwannabe
eliz, This is adorable. I love it. and I wish I had a six. I wosuld give it to you. That took a lot of thought.
I did notice two spots, if I may:
The lucky(no comma) little leprechaun...
...ate pizza before he returned to (the) zoo.
I know you'll want to fix the last line. Wonderful treatment of the alphabet. Very clever. Take care, pat
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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eliz, This is adorable. I love it. and I wish I had a six. I wosuld give it to you. That took a lot of thought.
I did notice two spots, if I may:
The lucky(no comma) little leprechaun...
...ate pizza before he returned to (the) zoo.
I know you'll want to fix the last line. Wonderful treatment of the alphabet. Very clever. Take care, pat
Comment Written 16-May-2009
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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Thanks for the feedback and positive review.
