Comment from Adri7enne

Exceptional

Gee, I love this story, love the dialogue, the little asides:"Christmas stared out the window, as though the brick and tile facade of the building facing them was of great archtectural significance. Finally he drummed his hands on the dashboard." You make me feel present, right there, watching him. Takes great skill to make a reader feel that. Terrific!
Yeah, I think Christmas is starting to sound like you a bit, Snod."Oh please. Wait until you're asked."
Love the way you describe the vestibule, and the receptionist. Ooh, this is such fun! Can't wait for the next installement.

 Comment Written 12-May-2009

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reply by the author on 12-May-2009

I'm flattered. Thank you for your review and generous score.

Comment from WRITER1

Excellent

A very good chapter, I love how they bicker, you swear they were married. Except if she doesn't behave he might kill her. Good job.

 Comment Written 12-May-2009

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reply by the author on 12-May-2009

Thank you. You obviously have experience of that sort of thing 8^) Glad you liked it

reply by WRITER1 on 12-May-2009

We definately have our days.
Donna

Comment from lizziebach

Excellent

Loved this, its as full of humor and sarcasm as every and the plot is thickening. You've caught my interest with this work and I just want to keep reading. Keep posting it!

 Comment Written 12-May-2009

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reply by the author on 12-May-2009

'I just want to keep reading.' No writer could ask for more. Thank you

Comment from creativewriterUK

Excellent

An intriguing chapter. It flowed very well and the dialogue was realistic. The characters of Laura and Christmas were very well depicted and came over as very believable. Keep it up.

 Comment Written 12-May-2009

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reply by the author on 12-May-2009

Thank you. I'm glad it intrigued you

reply by creativewriterUK on 12-May-2009

You're very welome, and thanks again for your comments on my work. Keith.