Performance Problems -Production
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Two Stoned Kids! Concert Day!"Stories and essays about radio and entertainment.
3 total reviews
Comment from Vickie Weaver
Only a few suggestions ï??
15 minutes, then 15 minutes and then
chair's back rest, he'd call your name chair's back rest; he'd call your name
treated with suspicion. "Mike, how many people do you think were committed to psychiatric institutions?"
"24,000"
Suggestion: with suspicion; "Mike, how many people do you think were committed to psychiatric institutions round 24,000?"
Also commending us for the performance. Many of the students from the sponsored class apologized to John and me for their classmates and said that they tried to get back in but were told they couldn't.
Also commending us for the performance, any of the students from the sponsored class apologized to John and me for their classmates and said that they tried to get back in but were told they couldn't.
The audicience???
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Only a few suggestions ï??
15 minutes, then 15 minutes and then
chair's back rest, he'd call your name chair's back rest; he'd call your name
treated with suspicion. "Mike, how many people do you think were committed to psychiatric institutions?"
"24,000"
Suggestion: with suspicion; "Mike, how many people do you think were committed to psychiatric institutions round 24,000?"
Also commending us for the performance. Many of the students from the sponsored class apologized to John and me for their classmates and said that they tried to get back in but were told they couldn't.
Also commending us for the performance, any of the students from the sponsored class apologized to John and me for their classmates and said that they tried to get back in but were told they couldn't.
The audicience???
Comment Written 29-May-2009
Comment from nora arjuna
mike, it's great of you to share this with us. real life stories are always great and for that i award you 5 stars. however there are some technical problems. i list down some here for your consideration.
some tense inconsistencies:
hoped we [can] do the concert with white lightning. - could
Next he said that he [cannot] do concert lighting as they [are] old pancake style dimmers and he [won't] blow them out. - couldn't, were, wouldn't
In the above part, if you were to incude actual dialogues, it would be more interesting.
"24,000[.]"
we are on the [forth]! - fourth
I shrugged [my shoulders]. - no need this. we know it has to do with shoulders.
"No sir, we do not[. That] contract
and he was hugs and kisses[.] "Mike, I want to apologize to you.
Mr. Getzy laughed[.]
When different person speaks or reacts, put it in a different paragraph.
I laughed and shook my head[.] "No[.]"
No one else joined in with laughter [though].
reply by the author on 19-May-2009
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mike, it's great of you to share this with us. real life stories are always great and for that i award you 5 stars. however there are some technical problems. i list down some here for your consideration.
some tense inconsistencies:
hoped we [can] do the concert with white lightning. - could
Next he said that he [cannot] do concert lighting as they [are] old pancake style dimmers and he [won't] blow them out. - couldn't, were, wouldn't
In the above part, if you were to incude actual dialogues, it would be more interesting.
"24,000[.]"
we are on the [forth]! - fourth
I shrugged [my shoulders]. - no need this. we know it has to do with shoulders.
"No sir, we do not[. That] contract
and he was hugs and kisses[.] "Mike, I want to apologize to you.
Mr. Getzy laughed[.]
When different person speaks or reacts, put it in a different paragraph.
I laughed and shook my head[.] "No[.]"
No one else joined in with laughter [though].
Comment Written 19-May-2009
reply by the author on 19-May-2009
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I will work on looking at the changes tomorrow, I am absolutely pooped. I thank you for taking the time and reviewing this and may add more dialog as well. I may have to do other writing posts first though.
Take care, Mike
Comment from Twomoon
Mike, this was very well written and I enjoyed your touch of your life in here..hummmm.the characters are lifelike and creative! smile...I too loved school, so this was a fun read. I enjoy reading about your personal thoughts on things going on around you. Life is the best story, have a great day thanks for the tea, much love twomoon
reply by the author on 05-May-2009
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Mike, this was very well written and I enjoyed your touch of your life in here..hummmm.the characters are lifelike and creative! smile...I too loved school, so this was a fun read. I enjoy reading about your personal thoughts on things going on around you. Life is the best story, have a great day thanks for the tea, much love twomoon
Comment Written 05-May-2009
reply by the author on 05-May-2009
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Too real in my oppinion... LOl I just wished more of the characters creativity was in a more positive way. Indeed, though accomplishments like this are rare in people's lives. They should add a warming spice to this. By tomorrow, I go into the radio station stories with, Lopez. Then there is a week or two break as the Morning Show is doing their Spring Fling in the Bahamas. The rest of the group is having the recession edition at local hotels or bars.
Thank you so much for the compliments and this review. Mike
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morning stories, will you be on radio?? I took radio classes and tv at Conneticut school of broadcasting, loved it, worked at ckg in Chicago as an intern, then never went into it...still could! smile..hugs, two
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morning stories, will you be on radio?? I took radio classes and tv at Conneticut school of broadcasting, loved it, worked at ckg in Chicago as an intern, then never went into it...still could! smile..hugs, two
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morning stories, will you be on radio?? I took radio classes and tv at Conneticut school of broadcasting, loved it, worked at ckg in Chicago as an intern, then never went into it...still could! smile..hugs, two
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I haven't been approached yet. They knew me as I made them aware of a couple of poems that I have done and also do photography at the events that I attended. I haven't personally been mentioned on air, but it is funny to send them something and somewhere along the way, the work, "poetry," gets said.
I was asked about bring the theremin, but I mentioned some of the requirements and they said no thanks. To get information, I will have to go to the studios and am prepared with FM answers to talk about my writing and poetry. But I think it is best to let them decide when/or to put me on or link my materials.
I did hand Mickey a horrible tape of my comedy routine. All I asked is that he gets back to me. I think he watched it as he said that he appreciates the difficulty in people doing routines, though stories as he would rather do three hours of standup, as opposed to having a twenty minute routine. He also had a commic on that wanted to think about becoming pro and a lot of the advice was geared to the problems in his delivery. Which was similar to mine. I do know that I have their respect and appreciation. I guess that I should say, "Stay tuned for any developements." LOL
