Blood Relations - A Vampire Tale
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Take Me Away"Some bloodlines run very deep.
23 total reviews
Comment from findingmyroom
I like the creative origins of the Stan character. It's a little like the Superman story, so the concept is also familiar and almost comforting. Looking forward to the next one.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2009
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I like the creative origins of the Stan character. It's a little like the Superman story, so the concept is also familiar and almost comforting. Looking forward to the next one.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2009
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Funny you should mention that, because I too have thought the same thing about Stan's character. Thank you for another wonderful review! :)
Comment from Vladilynn
yesssss....pretty much this part is very true;
No, true love. Jimmy had all the money he could hope for, but he didn't have true love. True love warms my cold heart from within. Life without love is like the voids of space, empty and cold.
you can have everything but if your not happy nothing is worth to have. Nothing at all!
NIce chapter!! to know about Stan! hmmm a vampire from the stars or universe!! what a very excellent idea!!
Thank you for sharing
love much
Lynn ( ^ _______ ^ )
reply by the author on 08-May-2009
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yesssss....pretty much this part is very true;
No, true love. Jimmy had all the money he could hope for, but he didn't have true love. True love warms my cold heart from within. Life without love is like the voids of space, empty and cold.
you can have everything but if your not happy nothing is worth to have. Nothing at all!
NIce chapter!! to know about Stan! hmmm a vampire from the stars or universe!! what a very excellent idea!!
Thank you for sharing
love much
Lynn ( ^ _______ ^ )
Comment Written 08-May-2009
reply by the author on 08-May-2009
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Thank you so much Lynn for another stellar review and for reading! Welcome back!
Comment from Sasha
Very good writing. You are getting better with each chapter. Your descriptions are great but sometimes they take you away from the plot. Good dialogue and great information in this one. Great job. I personally want to know how the dead mob guy knew so much. Yes, he had the place bugged but some of the stuff he came up with had to be inside information.
reply by the author on 07-May-2009
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Very good writing. You are getting better with each chapter. Your descriptions are great but sometimes they take you away from the plot. Good dialogue and great information in this one. Great job. I personally want to know how the dead mob guy knew so much. Yes, he had the place bugged but some of the stuff he came up with had to be inside information.
Comment Written 07-May-2009
reply by the author on 07-May-2009
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I appreciate you coming back and reading another chapter! Thank you so much for the welcome compliments and your continued support and interest. The mob had bugged various places, including Stan's and Linda's suite. If there is anything you think can't be learned by bugging, please let me know and I'll update the chapter to make it more clear. Thanks again!!!
Comment from nightraine1956
Love is an energy that is contagious and is spread throughout the universe."
Bite me, Stan. Take me away."
Fabulous chapter! You are gifted writer and I think this is a great chapter. I love the 2 statements above. Good job. Sorry I have been out of the loop again. I have lots going on, but had to read your chapter!
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2009
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Love is an energy that is contagious and is spread throughout the universe."
Bite me, Stan. Take me away."
Fabulous chapter! You are gifted writer and I think this is a great chapter. I love the 2 statements above. Good job. Sorry I have been out of the loop again. I have lots going on, but had to read your chapter!
Comment Written 24-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2009
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Thank you so much for this incredible review, Nightraine1956! When I wrote that last line, "Bite me, Stan. Take me away." it sounded like such the perfect place to end the chapter (even book). In my mind, the last line played like a movie and the song "Pocket Full of Sunshine" was playing and she sang that phrase "Take me Away". It's the same song that played in my head when Lori came up to save her cousin, Brook and the 747 took off into the rising sun, leaving the frigid winter in Minnesota for sunny Daytona. Thanks again! :)
Comment from Jonez08
Excellent chapter Steve, I loved the flow and dialog. The backgroud on Stan was really good. Your writing is continuing to improving.Good job
I watched as a pulse very similar to yours beat in her neck. I licked her throat and it tasted like the best thing (I've) ever tasted.
(I'd)
Cassandra
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2009
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Excellent chapter Steve, I loved the flow and dialog. The backgroud on Stan was really good. Your writing is continuing to improving.Good job
I watched as a pulse very similar to yours beat in her neck. I licked her throat and it tasted like the best thing (I've) ever tasted.
(I'd)
Cassandra
Comment Written 23-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2009
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Wow! Thank you for this wonderful review, Cassandra. Not just the six stars, but for the praise and encouragement. Wow!!! Thank you so much.
It took me twice as long to write half what I normally write, but it read so much smoother. We're on to something here, LOL. Many thanks to you for helping me grow and see better.
Steve
Comment from Deejharrington
Though I am a new reader, I enjoyed your story very much. The characters are well rounded and believable, even the vampire. I found no error or typos. I will enjoy continuing to read your story, I'll put you on fan list so I won't miss a thing.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2009
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Though I am a new reader, I enjoyed your story very much. The characters are well rounded and believable, even the vampire. I found no error or typos. I will enjoy continuing to read your story, I'll put you on fan list so I won't miss a thing.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2009
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review, kidwrit! :)
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Yoy're welcome
Comment from Wm B. Naylor
Another clear, flowing chapter to move the story along. Well done.
Couple items for your consideration:
Soft jazz played against the soft[2x in 1 sentence?] yellow flicker of a dozen candles.
She slipped out of her two piece pink bathing suit and joined Stan [as she crawled <- this would be better left out] under the covers.
burned my skin almost to the bone charcoal black[?].
My bites helped her grow stronger and feel healthier[,] too.
She taught me the joys of love and the pains of death.[What a beautiful line]
Tears well[ed] up in his eyes.
Sincerely,
Will
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2009
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Another clear, flowing chapter to move the story along. Well done.
Couple items for your consideration:
Soft jazz played against the soft[2x in 1 sentence?] yellow flicker of a dozen candles.
She slipped out of her two piece pink bathing suit and joined Stan [as she crawled <- this would be better left out] under the covers.
burned my skin almost to the bone charcoal black[?].
My bites helped her grow stronger and feel healthier[,] too.
She taught me the joys of love and the pains of death.[What a beautiful line]
Tears well[ed] up in his eyes.
Sincerely,
Will
Comment Written 22-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2009
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review, Will. You have some good advice too, as always and I appreciate it very much. I'll put them to use ASAP. Thanks again for the encouragement!
Steve
Comment from bc1yax
Very enjoyable - Wow, great story, so much emotion in a very few words - well written story that flowed nicely - your characters are fascinating, and conversations entirely believable - as to spelling and grammar errors not really my thing so others will comment - if you keep writing I will keep reading - bc1yax
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2009
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Very enjoyable - Wow, great story, so much emotion in a very few words - well written story that flowed nicely - your characters are fascinating, and conversations entirely believable - as to spelling and grammar errors not really my thing so others will comment - if you keep writing I will keep reading - bc1yax
Comment Written 21-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2009
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Thank you so much for your awesome review, bc1yax! This is a story I can't stop writing about, LOL. It mean a lot to read reviews like yours. Thank you. :)
Comment from jadapenn
Hi Steve, I found this a beautiful chapter. The work flowed well and I did not see any spags along the way. I loved the emotion and interaction of Stan and Lori. Their love is almost tangible. Your descriptives are good and I like the way you pay attention to detail of where necks and lips are. One can get mixed up so easily when writing these scenes. Well done. luv jada. Oh, sorry for the delay in reply. Got a bit of a hiccup here.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2009
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Hi Steve, I found this a beautiful chapter. The work flowed well and I did not see any spags along the way. I loved the emotion and interaction of Stan and Lori. Their love is almost tangible. Your descriptives are good and I like the way you pay attention to detail of where necks and lips are. One can get mixed up so easily when writing these scenes. Well done. luv jada. Oh, sorry for the delay in reply. Got a bit of a hiccup here.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2009
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Thank you so much, Jada for this beautiful review! No need to apologize, writer's are busy people always short on time, LOL. What I could do with an extra day! Take care.
Comment from Alcaide
NW,
Very good chapter. Emotional and enjoyable.
A couple of quick tiny nits.
In the beggining add a couple of stronger verbs to intensify the mood. Suggestion: Jazzed glowed against the soft. A billion effervescent bubbles.
Lori's lips searched for his [eyes]. "Yes. Your European accent along with being a vampire, it all fits.
So where do your parents live? Where did you grow up? You never talk about your past." Finding his lips, she kissed him. ["]
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2009
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NW,
Very good chapter. Emotional and enjoyable.
A couple of quick tiny nits.
In the beggining add a couple of stronger verbs to intensify the mood. Suggestion: Jazzed glowed against the soft. A billion effervescent bubbles.
Lori's lips searched for his [eyes]. "Yes. Your European accent along with being a vampire, it all fits.
So where do your parents live? Where did you grow up? You never talk about your past." Finding his lips, she kissed him. ["]
Comment Written 21-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2009
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Thank you so much for the great suggestions and your wonderful review, Alcaide! I'll work on that. :)
