Taking Census
Free Verse: No Punctuation:39 total reviews
Comment from The Cowboy Poet
This is so very well expressed. You make free verse flow as well as anyone I've read. Nice transitions. I like the third line under possess. It's so true. And the last line is a great conclusion. I just noticed that you have a book titled "At the Water's Edge". I have a published work entitled "By the Water's Edge". It's a prose work of my life growing up in the 50's. Quite a coincidence.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2009
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This is so very well expressed. You make free verse flow as well as anyone I've read. Nice transitions. I like the third line under possess. It's so true. And the last line is a great conclusion. I just noticed that you have a book titled "At the Water's Edge". I have a published work entitled "By the Water's Edge". It's a prose work of my life growing up in the 50's. Quite a coincidence.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2009
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Oh...I love your title "By the Water's Edge!" I was born in 1953 - so I would have to say that I grew up in both the 50s and 60s...and I still am growing!!! So pleased you enjoyed! diane
Comment from Rottie
I possess
More than I need
Some of what I desire
Less than what others think
I believe
In the beauty of a sunset
In the power of forgiveness
In the balm of laughter
These are both so big in word. Larger than that sunset. "balm of laughter" what a fabulous line. I loved the structure. It slinked down the page like hot chocalate.
You did a great job on this one!
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I possess
More than I need
Some of what I desire
Less than what others think
I believe
In the beauty of a sunset
In the power of forgiveness
In the balm of laughter
These are both so big in word. Larger than that sunset. "balm of laughter" what a fabulous line. I loved the structure. It slinked down the page like hot chocalate.
You did a great job on this one!
Comment Written 31-Mar-2009
Comment from RaymondJohn
An excellent write that tells a great deal about you. I also understand how important it is to still feel surprised. Ironically, I've been waiting for a call from the Census Bureau for work. This will be my fifth one. Best. Ray.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2009
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An excellent write that tells a great deal about you. I also understand how important it is to still feel surprised. Ironically, I've been waiting for a call from the Census Bureau for work. This will be my fifth one. Best. Ray.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2009
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Hey Ray! I am so pleased you found my offering worthy. I've been writing so many structured poems lately, that I just had to write a free verse. Hope you get your job with the Census Bureau...and I especially hope you have a great deal of surprises in your life! diane
Comment from patwannabe
Oh, Diane, this is super. I wish it were mine. I believe you covered everything there is to cover. What a wonderful choice of thought and word. Your title is perfect. If I had a six it would be yours. pat
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2009
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Oh, Diane, this is super. I wish it were mine. I believe you covered everything there is to cover. What a wonderful choice of thought and word. Your title is perfect. If I had a six it would be yours. pat
Comment Written 31-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2009
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Thanks so much, Pat! I have no idea where the idea came from, but I was in a pretty darn reflective mood this evening. Take Care...diane
Comment from Carol D Parker
Oh, this is so beautiful. All the things I wish I would have said. You touched on everything lovely and true. Your verses are set so nicely and the words are so easily understand yet speak strongly volumns of beautiful thoughts. I really loved reading it. Thanks for sharing it.
Delora
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2009
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Oh, this is so beautiful. All the things I wish I would have said. You touched on everything lovely and true. Your verses are set so nicely and the words are so easily understand yet speak strongly volumns of beautiful thoughts. I really loved reading it. Thanks for sharing it.
Delora
Comment Written 31-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2009
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Hello Delora!
Thank you so much for your kind review. I am pleased you enjoyed. And congratulations again on your Clarity poem!
Take Care...diane
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Diane, Thanks to you I won.
Carol
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Delora!
You would have won regardless of my help! I loved your offering!
diane
Comment from Deejharrington
Excellent thoughts all! But my favorite was the very last one "To still be surprised". I would guess that's when we know its time to go, when life no longer surprises us. Good writing liked the no punc.
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Excellent thoughts all! But my favorite was the very last one "To still be surprised". I would guess that's when we know its time to go, when life no longer surprises us. Good writing liked the no punc.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2009
Comment from creativewriterUK
Wow! This has got to be the most inspired poem I've read on here so far. What a beautiful poem, it says it all. I don't think anyone could make it better, it stands alone.
Very well done.
creativewriterUK
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Wow! This has got to be the most inspired poem I've read on here so far. What a beautiful poem, it says it all. I don't think anyone could make it better, it stands alone.
Very well done.
creativewriterUK
Comment Written 31-Mar-2009
Comment from RADIO
You have summed uo a wonderful
philosophy in this poem.
Beautiful lines with much wisdom,
a true pleasure to read.
Radio
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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You have summed uo a wonderful
philosophy in this poem.
Beautiful lines with much wisdom,
a true pleasure to read.
Radio
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2009
Comment from fastdigits
A gentle walk down the paths
of life running the gamut of what
you posses, the things that you
believe, those that you cherish,
then on to your desires, and you
get the idea, and the ending,
beauatifully choriographed with
all these things in your life, you
still dream of those moments
to reflect, to desire, and still
discover so that you are constantly
surprised.
An artistically written and well
crafted poem.
Well done
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
|
A gentle walk down the paths
of life running the gamut of what
you posses, the things that you
believe, those that you cherish,
then on to your desires, and you
get the idea, and the ending,
beauatifully choriographed with
all these things in your life, you
still dream of those moments
to reflect, to desire, and still
discover so that you are constantly
surprised.
An artistically written and well
crafted poem.
Well done
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2009
