Reviews from

The Night

Openly inviting! Too much so. Which?

15 total reviews 
Comment from Twomoon
Excellent
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Mike, hello, Happy ST. Patricks Day, my friend, this was a wonderful unique write. Loved that first line, it grabs the attention right away, good luck and have a beautiful day, much love twomoon

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2009

reply by the author on 17-Mar-2009
    And a Happy St Pat's ta ya Two! Thank you so much for reviewing this and the compliments. I don't always know if it is good or bad to always having qnique experiences, but I try to make full use of them. Even it is is fool use. LOL

    You have a great day as well.
    With love, Mike
Comment from KYPollard/El Gato
Excellent
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Good job on creating this haiku and in managing to keep within the strict guidelines while presenting a clear message. I found no errors. Good luck.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2009

reply by the author on 17-Mar-2009
    I thank you very much for the compliments and the review. I am glad that you enjoyed it too. Mike
Comment from Winslow
Excellent
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Dear Mike,

Good picture to accompany your poem. Good rhymes but the come and some seems somewhat forced.

Warm regards,

Winslow

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2009

reply by the author on 17-Mar-2009
    I assure you, no hemroids were created with the rhymes. LOL This is the second version and to be honest, I enjoyed the first much better, but people too exception that the rhymes were in the beginning and not in the middle. Thank yo very much for the compliments and the review. MIke
Comment from MariaMarsden
Excellent
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This is very visual and correct to form. The form is quite difficult and not something that I would like to attempt. I'm reading through the entries so that I can vote. Yours is a good entry. Good luck in the contest

maria

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2009

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
    It strange, I used to be intimadated with various poetry forms, but through always thinking about double meanings, and the best way to format the poem, this ability developed. This was my first attempt at this specific form. Thank you very much for your best wishes, the compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from VICTIMEYES
Excellent
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i kinda like the two liner in this one, makes me really wonder what stories are gonna be told as the fire blazes in the dark, good one.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2009

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
    You might as well go back and take another look. I have been somewhat hammered about having two end rhymes as my interpertation of mid rhyme seemed a bit week. I think I kept the same atmosphere about it. I like the wherewolf quality about it. I still remember and miss that.

    Thank you very much for the compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from Judian James
Excellent
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Hey Mike. There has to be an internal rhyme as well as the ending rhyme. You could say: "come sit by the campfire.
some may fit dark's dire" that would work. For something this short, mistakes really show, but it's an easy tweak.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2009

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
    I guess you can't consider a rhyme on the beginning end to be in the middle? I changed it around to fix it. I wanted to leave in a bit of hesitation about the comment the person at the campfire presumably made.

    I can up with"
    "Sit by the campfire, come!
    knowing dark's dire,- some."

    Thank you for reviewing this one, Mike

    I know how to do a contest even less popular and my What If," one. How about making a poem with every other word rhyming, plus each on the opposite end?
reply by Judian James on 16-Mar-2009
    My word Mike. You need a vacation, or at the very least, a long nap!
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
    Be nice, this is my vacation! Like I said, I must be the worst combination of a German man and Czechoslovakian woman can create. I don't mind this as long as I feel that I am going forward and find a little joy here and there.
Comment from prodigal
Excellent
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This is a well written essense poem. You have good beginning and ending rhyming, but the second line should have six syllables. it only has five. If you change it or if I am wrong, let me know and I will gladly bump to five stars. - Sam

You are right. Dire can have two syllables. Well done- Sam

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2009

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
    I checked it out. Some-will-know-darks-di-er, it is up to you to upgrade the rating, but in this case it will be appreciqted. Thank you for reviewing this. MIke
reply by prodigal on 16-Mar-2009
    I will upgrade. I looked at it as a single syllable.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
    Yea, That last word drove me up a wall and I spent more time working that last word in there then the rest of the poem and even looking for the art. Have a great day! Mike
Comment from Atheen
Excellent
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Let me start by say that I don't know anything about poetry. I just know how to enjoy it! And I enjoyed this one. It has a slightly supernatural sound to it, and you can't help but wonder if the voice is trying to save him or lure him to his doom.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2009

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
    I enjoyed this review and thank you for it and the compliments. I wanted to create an atmoshopere that was inviting, but could generate a second thought.
Comment from mtngalofnc
Excellent
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Hi Mike,
Inviting, mysterious, and a touch of spooky. In these few words there are a lot of emotions. Good luck with the contest and thank you for sharing. God bless and best wishes!
mtngalofnc

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2009

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
    That was one of the enjoyable things with scouts, we always seemed to camp near a cemetary or area of historical tradegy, even if we had to make things up. But sometimes, we didn't.

    Thank you for the compliments and this review. Mike K2
Comment from bard owl
Excellent
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Your essence poem starts out friendly enough but that "dire" at the end makes it seem ominous. Very original entry! Does it need internal rhyme? Anyway, I will never look at campfires in the same way again. Blessings to you and best of luck, too! Linda

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2009

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
    Yes, internal rhyme is one of the requirements. No, campfires are nice warm comforting and have friends around them. Thank you very much for the compliments adn this review. Mike