Comment from Nicnac

Excellent

Hallelujah!
Wow! 5th generation. That is fabulous.

This poem made me want to stand up and shout. :) I feel the joy and pride displayed in this poem.

I especially liked:

very special day

your great-grandfather's birthday

sense of irony

Wonderful, full writing. :)
Nic

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2009

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reply by the author on 04-Apr-2009

written with a very full heart that day, for sure. love, jan

Comment from ExperiencingLiphe

Excellent

My dad just sent me my baby tape and my baptism on it. The entire time I think I'm screaming. This made me think of that.

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009

hopefully, Lexi won't do that. love, jan

Comment from Twomoon

Excellent

Jan, this is just a beautiful piece of your thoughts and heart. I enjoyed touching that today. Running to the Pancake Breakfast, as it is still morning...smile, much love twomoon

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009

church to breakfast--it's how most of my Sundays go, for sure. love, jan

Comment from luisestable

Average

Of all the poems I`ve read of yours, this one is the most prose-like and least poetry-souding. The sentiment is clear, but It lacks a bit the language of poetry. It reads like a number of affirmations and It is devoid somehow of truly poety qualities. But I applaud the effort and your love for the child.
Keep on writing.
luis

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 Comment Written 13-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2009

I understand, luis
I was trying to capture the moment
maybe it would have been done better in prose
thanks, again
love, jan

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

I enjoyed all your 5-7-5's and 3-5-3's. Lexi's parents should be very proud of your chronicles. I especially liked the special tribute to your dad.

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2009

thanks, Joan E. love, jan

Comment from howling harp

Excellent

you created a very effective form by skipping some lines in this piece. i found that the enforced pause's really worked for me here. i liked your cord choices and the meter too. thanks

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2009

thanks, howling harp. love, jan

reply by howling harp on 13-Mar-2009

Comment from joan marie

Excellent

I felt that he had passed when you used the word irony. What a lovely series of life and family this is going to be. I am so glad to be a part of it. May have missed some, being sick but I'll read them all. joan marie

Unable to think clearly under new meds, I have reposted one from before we were reading each other. I would love it if you took a moment to read it. Still That Little Child. It is on page 2 of available reading poetry or on my portfolio. Thanks, jm

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 12-Mar-2009

joan marie, I'm way behind on posting and reading but I'll be most happy to do that. I want to get to know your work, too. love, jan

reply by joan marie on 12-Mar-2009

Thanks and you're welcome. Potent antibiotics for digestive problems got me so tired and writing seems like such an effort. Thought some of my older work that the people who I read now might give me their take on. jm

Comment from rmdelta

Excellent

Jan, another excellent chapter for Lexie's book. Strong writing and beautiful wording make this a very good chapter and one to be proud of.

Reggie

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 12-Mar-2009

thanks, again, Reggie

Comment from Tellis

Excellent

A very sweet and inspirational poem. I enjoyed reading it very much. I don't do spags on poems so keep up the good work.

Tellis

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 12-Mar-2009

thanks, Tellis. love, jan

Comment from words

Excellent

Nice use of form to create a diary of the child entering into your family life.

The following lines seem to be the thru line of the poem:

"connections

so interwoven

in your life"


Might tie everything together better if they were oft repeated in this piece and following pieces.

GOod work!

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 12-Mar-2009

thanks, words
good idea, I'll try to use it often
love, jan