haiku (pine boughs bend)
a winter lament80 total reviews
Comment from Mike K2
I enjoyed this well written Haiku and it does make one ponder about the harshness of winter. Yet somehow, most deer survive well.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2009
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I enjoyed this well written Haiku and it does make one ponder about the harshness of winter. Yet somehow, most deer survive well.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2009
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Thank you, Mike, for your kind review, Brooke
Comment from Nicnac
Well, once again, I am not permitted to give you a sixer. :( This is well deserving.
In my opinion, deer are the most beautiful animals of God's creation.
I enjoyed everything about this haiku - the imagery, the lament, the artwork -- beautiful!
~Nic
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2009
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Well, once again, I am not permitted to give you a sixer. :( This is well deserving.
In my opinion, deer are the most beautiful animals of God's creation.
I enjoyed everything about this haiku - the imagery, the lament, the artwork -- beautiful!
~Nic
Comment Written 07-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2009
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Nic, yet another review from you to make me smile!! I cannot tell you enough how much I appreciate your support. Brooke :-)
Comment from tammipratt
A very contrite verse, with a lot of activity wrapped up in a few lines. I think the picture was also terrific. Good luck in the contest (if not already passed) :)
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2009
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A very contrite verse, with a lot of activity wrapped up in a few lines. I think the picture was also terrific. Good luck in the contest (if not already passed) :)
Comment Written 05-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2009
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I came in second :-) Thank you for your kind comments, Brooke
Comment from Dklrdmcches
very captivating piece about the harshness of the world around. great job of capturing a moment in time and feeding it to the masses. I love the softness and the urgency with which your words tell...DKLRD
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2009
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very captivating piece about the harshness of the world around. great job of capturing a moment in time and feeding it to the masses. I love the softness and the urgency with which your words tell...DKLRD
Comment Written 05-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2009
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Thank you for your kind review, Brooke
Comment from mstad55
Aparently all your adoring fans liked this one. I feel like Simon, I know you could do better than this, and frankly I'm disappointed. It was as if you just had to put something out and didn't think much about it. Staying within the guidelines shows ability, but we all know you have that, it just doesn't fit the talent, thats all. mstad55
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2009
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Aparently all your adoring fans liked this one. I feel like Simon, I know you could do better than this, and frankly I'm disappointed. It was as if you just had to put something out and didn't think much about it. Staying within the guidelines shows ability, but we all know you have that, it just doesn't fit the talent, thats all. mstad55
Comment Written 04-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2009
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Well, Mike, why don't you tell me how you really feel? LOL
I'm sorry this one didn't satisfy - I will try to do better next time! Just call in 1-888- vote brooke so I can stay in the contest to give it another try!!!! :-)
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Don't worry, I'll vote ten times just to make sure you get in. Then you can show America your real talent. That one was playing it safe. And it was to big, it was karokee and cruise shipish. You need to identify yourself, show us who you are as an artist. Anyone can be a copy cat. Sharpen your pen, and write a good one.
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Now you have to read today's minute poem Serenity which is a good one!
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oaky.
Comment from QuietMtnSunrise
"Winter's cold lament." Ah, how I could feel this poem as I saw the deer in the picture you used and imagined it searching for food...only to find none. You get the 5 stars for pulling on the heart strings...And of course, a well crafted word choice. =)
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2009
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"Winter's cold lament." Ah, how I could feel this poem as I saw the deer in the picture you used and imagined it searching for food...only to find none. You get the 5 stars for pulling on the heart strings...And of course, a well crafted word choice. =)
Comment Written 04-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2009
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thank you for your comments about both poetic technique and content :-) Brooke
Comment from fayesh
Your 5-7-5 haiku about winter really painted a vivid image in the mind of the reader even without the accompanying artwork. The last line said it all for the poor flora and fauna.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2009
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Your 5-7-5 haiku about winter really painted a vivid image in the mind of the reader even without the accompanying artwork. The last line said it all for the poor flora and fauna.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2009
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Thank you so much for such a positive review :-)Brooke
Comment from Firefly54
pine boughs bend from snow
as deer beneath finds no food
winter's cold lament
I'd have preferred this with deer being plural so you drop the s from finds. But that's just me...
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2009
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pine boughs bend from snow
as deer beneath finds no food
winter's cold lament
I'd have preferred this with deer being plural so you drop the s from finds. But that's just me...
Comment Written 04-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2009
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It started out as plural that way, but then the only picture I could find had only one deer - I'm sure I'll go back to the way you and I both like better once the contest is over and I'm not worried about people telling me the poem does not match the picture. LOL Thank you, Brooke
Comment from Perp Ihebom
This is really a lamentation on the devastating effects of winter on all forms of life. Your picture is superb, and tells the whole story. kudos
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2009
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This is really a lamentation on the devastating effects of winter on all forms of life. Your picture is superb, and tells the whole story. kudos
Comment Written 04-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2009
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Perp, thank you for your gracious and thoughtful response, Brooke
Comment from ersorenson
Excellent haiku as a counterpoint to the poem on the beauty of snow. A great picture of the stag reminds me that they are less inconvenienced than man, although they must work harder to find food. I like this a lot, both the poem and accompanying photo. It reminds me of my home state, Idaho.
Eric
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2009
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Excellent haiku as a counterpoint to the poem on the beauty of snow. A great picture of the stag reminds me that they are less inconvenienced than man, although they must work harder to find food. I like this a lot, both the poem and accompanying photo. It reminds me of my home state, Idaho.
Eric
Comment Written 04-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2009
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Eric, thank you for your kind review of this haiku :-) Brooke
