Blood Relations - A Vampire Tale
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Stan Goes Down"Some bloodlines run very deep.
19 total reviews
Comment from findingmyroom
Stan's Achilles heel comes to light, just when we thought we were rid of Jason. I think the mental telepathy between Stan and Lori, and now Stan and Brook is a neat feature.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2009
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Stan's Achilles heel comes to light, just when we thought we were rid of Jason. I think the mental telepathy between Stan and Lori, and now Stan and Brook is a neat feature.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2009
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2009
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review! I like the telepathy too, but to keep it interesting, it has its limits, LOL. Thanks again!
Comment from Sasha
Very, very good chapter. Fast paced and full of tense moments. Very well written. Fascinating story and keeps the reader captivated. I anxiously look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 06-May-2009
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Very, very good chapter. Fast paced and full of tense moments. Very well written. Fascinating story and keeps the reader captivated. I anxiously look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 06-May-2009
reply by the author on 06-May-2009
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Thank you so much for reading and your awesome review!!! :)
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello NightWriter
You have so may excellent things going on in this exctitng chapter.
Just to think that Stan has special powers.
Love the scene of him rescuring Brooke.
Not one boring moment and a very tense well written chapter
I see you left readers in suspence ( where is Stan?)
Gert
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2009
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Hello NightWriter
You have so may excellent things going on in this exctitng chapter.
Just to think that Stan has special powers.
Love the scene of him rescuring Brooke.
Not one boring moment and a very tense well written chapter
I see you left readers in suspence ( where is Stan?)
Gert
Comment Written 25-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2009
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Thank you so much for reading and your wonderful review, Gert! That's one of my favorite chapters. :)
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NightWriter
You are so welcome
Gert
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
Excellent. Really fast-paced and very readable. I have read one or two of the preceding chapters, but this is definitely the best so far. I didn't notice any SpaG or typos. Great writing.
Warmest wishes
Kat
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
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Excellent. Really fast-paced and very readable. I have read one or two of the preceding chapters, but this is definitely the best so far. I didn't notice any SpaG or typos. Great writing.
Warmest wishes
Kat
Comment Written 16-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
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Thank you so much Kat for reading and your wonderful review! My Muse was holding my hand the entire way and guided me when I wrote this chapter.
Comment from Tellis
This is one of my favorite stories and it is written very well. I noticed no spags and I always enjoy reading this story.
Tellis
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2009
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This is one of my favorite stories and it is written very well. I noticed no spags and I always enjoy reading this story.
Tellis
Comment Written 12-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2009
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Thank you so much for this review. I'm especially happy to hear it's one of your favorites. :)
Comment from KYPollard/El Gato
Your chapter is nicely written. The characters' interaction and dialogue is plausible. I found no spags while reading. Good luck.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2009
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Your chapter is nicely written. The characters' interaction and dialogue is plausible. I found no spags while reading. Good luck.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2009
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review. :)
Comment from jlsavell
Nightwriter, since i could onyl give out one more six it had to be yours. It is not just this chapter but also for the last 2 I read. Love it, loveit..everything is getting really tense. I am so very curious as to where you are going to take us..oh the Mafia knows about Stans venom and obvioulsy a lot more about him..is there another vampire somewhere is this plot..perhaps an evil one???? How else would they know how to compromise Stan or disable him??
now you go take on the day..jimi
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Nightwriter, since i could onyl give out one more six it had to be yours. It is not just this chapter but also for the last 2 I read. Love it, loveit..everything is getting really tense. I am so very curious as to where you are going to take us..oh the Mafia knows about Stans venom and obvioulsy a lot more about him..is there another vampire somewhere is this plot..perhaps an evil one???? How else would they know how to compromise Stan or disable him??
now you go take on the day..jimi
Comment Written 02-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review Jimi! You ask some good questions and I can tell you these people know something, but not everything. In Chapter 11, we get to find out, LOL. Thank you for the 6 stars! Wow!!!! Double-Wow!!! :)
Comment from Jonez08
Great action chapter Steve, so happy Brook was rescued. Now hopefully they can find Stan (ALIVE) I like how you incorporated to two scenes
She choked for air.
(what does this mean?)
She gasped and coughed(,) sucking in as much air as she could to catch her breath
Hello(,) hon, is anything wrong?"
I had a nightmare, or rather a daymare
(LOL)
I want you and Chuck to take a security task force to the Comfort Inn just outside Jacksonville off I(-)95
Brook watched as a ghostly image of Stan floated down from the ceiling.
(nice visual)
Hey, how about another cup of coffee(,) sexy
A man the size of two(,) dressed in black with a quart of oil (peeling his black hair straight back wearing a diamond ring on his pinkie) sat down at Jason's table.
(re-read this, too many descriptives to figure what you were trying to say)
We will be following you and (be) looking for that opportunity too
(not needed)
Cassandra
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Great action chapter Steve, so happy Brook was rescued. Now hopefully they can find Stan (ALIVE) I like how you incorporated to two scenes
She choked for air.
(what does this mean?)
She gasped and coughed(,) sucking in as much air as she could to catch her breath
Hello(,) hon, is anything wrong?"
I had a nightmare, or rather a daymare
(LOL)
I want you and Chuck to take a security task force to the Comfort Inn just outside Jacksonville off I(-)95
Brook watched as a ghostly image of Stan floated down from the ceiling.
(nice visual)
Hey, how about another cup of coffee(,) sexy
A man the size of two(,) dressed in black with a quart of oil (peeling his black hair straight back wearing a diamond ring on his pinkie) sat down at Jason's table.
(re-read this, too many descriptives to figure what you were trying to say)
We will be following you and (be) looking for that opportunity too
(not needed)
Cassandra
Comment Written 02-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Thank you so much Cassandra for you wonderful and most helpful review! I'll update this story soon.
Comment from K-Patrick
Excellent dialogue and the descriptions were nicely detailed.
Observation - From the time Jason was placed on the boat to the time Stan hit the water was almost instantaneous. On boat - throw you in - helo drop - pushed in - dolphins. This appears to be somewhat pivotal and rushing threw it gives no signifigance other that the psychic cries for help.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Excellent dialogue and the descriptions were nicely detailed.
Observation - From the time Jason was placed on the boat to the time Stan hit the water was almost instantaneous. On boat - throw you in - helo drop - pushed in - dolphins. This appears to be somewhat pivotal and rushing threw it gives no signifigance other that the psychic cries for help.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Thank you for your wonderful review. You make some good points. I'll take a look at this and see if I can add something there. :)
Comment from jadapenn
Hi Night, this chapter I really enjoyed. There is so much action here and your descriptives are good. The dialogue drove the chapter. You've got me panicking about Stan now, so please work something out - quick.
Just one small typo that you've probably picked up already.
"Brook, come with me," Stan's[delete 's] said.
Well written.luv jada
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Hi Night, this chapter I really enjoyed. There is so much action here and your descriptives are good. The dialogue drove the chapter. You've got me panicking about Stan now, so please work something out - quick.
Just one small typo that you've probably picked up already.
"Brook, come with me," Stan's[delete 's] said.
Well written.luv jada
Comment Written 01-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Thank you Jada!!! I'll take a look at the spagie and fix. Thanks again so much!!! :)
