cinquains
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Fool's Gold"cinquain poetry
101 total reviews
Comment from jack silver
that is so true. sometimes no matter how much we try to fill a void we wish would just go away it will always be there with in us
from
jack
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2009
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that is so true. sometimes no matter how much we try to fill a void we wish would just go away it will always be there with in us
from
jack
Comment Written 19-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2009
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Jack, thank you for yet another perceptive review, Brooke
Comment from Nicnac
The beautiful flowers may brighten the vase - but does nothing for internal voids.
Wonderful title, Brooke. It adds so much to the cinquain.
I love a short poem that is full and thought provoking. You are exceptional at accomplishing this.
~Nic
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2009
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The beautiful flowers may brighten the vase - but does nothing for internal voids.
Wonderful title, Brooke. It adds so much to the cinquain.
I love a short poem that is full and thought provoking. You are exceptional at accomplishing this.
~Nic
Comment Written 01-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2009
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Nic, you "get" it perfectly - a surprising number of people missed this one's point completely Thank you, Brooke :-)
Comment from QuietMtnSunrise
Another top notch poem! The typical writer message is "let every word tell," and you accomplished that here. Excellent job and keep 'em coming! =)
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
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Another top notch poem! The typical writer message is "let every word tell," and you accomplished that here. Excellent job and keep 'em coming! =)
Comment Written 26-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
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I consider this to be one of my best poems, so I appreciate your kind comments, Brooke
Comment from Mike K2
A nicely written poem that is true, but they can add warmth to that void. Then they become a challenge in trying to keep them looking good for as long as you can.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
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A nicely written poem that is true, but they can add warmth to that void. Then they become a challenge in trying to keep them looking good for as long as you can.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
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Mike, yes, they can decorate and I love them - they just only have surface beauty, like fool's gold. :-) Brooke
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True, but it still has it effect ddep down, well until the person is told that he has full's gold. LOL Have a great day! I am afraid to work... I'll soon be on my way.
Comment from AlvinTEthington
Nice cinquain. You have a good turn at the fourth line. The title also works well into the poem itself, as Crapsey intended. I usually don't like rhyme in cinquain, but here it works well. Excellent execution of the 2/4/6/8/2 syllabic scheme and iambic meter. Good juxtaposition of picture and poem.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
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Nice cinquain. You have a good turn at the fourth line. The title also works well into the poem itself, as Crapsey intended. I usually don't like rhyme in cinquain, but here it works well. Excellent execution of the 2/4/6/8/2 syllabic scheme and iambic meter. Good juxtaposition of picture and poem.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
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Thank you, Alvin - some people ignored the title and lost the meaning of the poem, thinking it was just about how pretty a vase of daffodils is. Brooke
Comment from rmdelta
this was very good, Brooke. a writing which packs a punch. excellent in the message you send. Nice work and the flow was great.
Reggie
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
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this was very good, Brooke. a writing which packs a punch. excellent in the message you send. Nice work and the flow was great.
Reggie
Comment Written 26-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
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Reggie, thank you!! Brooke :-)
Comment from Penya
This is great and the picture is very very pretty. I also thought of the hole of the vase when you wrote "void". It's like you're trying to stick the flowers into the mouth of the vase as if it's the void but the flowers won't fit. I like the diction. Sorry, I must have pressed the wrong number. I meant five stars but I guess I didn't notice that I accidentally pressed four.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
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This is great and the picture is very very pretty. I also thought of the hole of the vase when you wrote "void". It's like you're trying to stick the flowers into the mouth of the vase as if it's the void but the flowers won't fit. I like the diction. Sorry, I must have pressed the wrong number. I meant five stars but I guess I didn't notice that I accidentally pressed four.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
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Could you please clarify the rating for me - you say it's great and you like the diction - could you tell me which part or parts you thought fell short? Thank you, Brooke
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thank you for taking the trouble to make the change- I appreciate it :-) Brooke
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Adewpearl ...
When I saw your title, I thought this would be about what is, in fact, known as 'fool's gold' which is found where gold is mined.
What you have written, under a beautiful picture of
Daffodils, is very good ... and, today, by co-incidence,
I picked my first miniature Daffodils from the garden to
place before the lovely big statue we have of St. Joseph -
Protector of Families.
You have correctly complied with the Cinquain format requirement and, of course, there is nothing to suggest changing.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
With love from .... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
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Hullo Adewpearl ...
When I saw your title, I thought this would be about what is, in fact, known as 'fool's gold' which is found where gold is mined.
What you have written, under a beautiful picture of
Daffodils, is very good ... and, today, by co-incidence,
I picked my first miniature Daffodils from the garden to
place before the lovely big statue we have of St. Joseph -
Protector of Families.
You have correctly complied with the Cinquain format requirement and, of course, there is nothing to suggest changing.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
With love from .... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
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Nanette Mary, I am likening the daffodil's to fool's gold - pretty on the surface but not the real thing underneath - the daffodils can only pretty up a room, not fill a spiritual/emotional void.
Thank you,Brooke
Comment from davidray
Hi Brooke,
Thanks for sharing this with me. I enjoyed the thoughts of placing daffodils in an empty vase ... but is there still a void in her life?
Very nicely done, as always.
Take care...
David
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
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Hi Brooke,
Thanks for sharing this with me. I enjoyed the thoughts of placing daffodils in an empty vase ... but is there still a void in her life?
Very nicely done, as always.
Take care...
David
Comment Written 25-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
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David, yes, the point of the poem is that the daffodils are like fool's gold - they cannot fill a void, just decorate - superficially. Brooke
Comment from nukrz
This one could mean anything to anyone. I dont know what to say other then that. You definatley write for everyone! You do so well at it. Great job!
Joanie xxx
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
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This one could mean anything to anyone. I dont know what to say other then that. You definatley write for everyone! You do so well at it. Great job!
Joanie xxx
Comment Written 25-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
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Joanie, I so appreciate your kind reviews - thank you, Brooke
