I Czing
An Animists Look On Love9 total reviews
Comment from mtngalofnc
Hi Mike,
Sounds like someone who takes time to stop and enjoy their garden in life, who seeks beauty in their world. I loved your word choices and the art as well. Thank you for sharing and God bless and best wishes!
mtngalofnc
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
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Hi Mike,
Sounds like someone who takes time to stop and enjoy their garden in life, who seeks beauty in their world. I loved your word choices and the art as well. Thank you for sharing and God bless and best wishes!
mtngalofnc
Comment Written 25-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
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Thank you very much for this review and the compilments. There is a duelistic nature about his poem, in this case I am that stick that people help to grow. I not only feel this, but can see the blooms that result as well.
God bless! With love, Mike
Comment from lkatka
Interesting author's note... I like this poem because it caused me to slow down while reading it. The words mean a lot. There are a couple of editing opportunities that I noticed...
carrying [your]
bursting forth [an]
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Interesting author's note... I like this poem because it caused me to slow down while reading it. The words mean a lot. There are a couple of editing opportunities that I noticed...
carrying [your]
bursting forth [an]
Comment Written 24-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Thank you for your sugested corrections, as I took advantage of them. Also for the compliments and this review. I am also glad that you injoyed the words, that makes writing worth while. Mike
Comment from justmade
This is interesting really.
I think there was a number of things going on here.
I imagined the bridge as that point in life when a big decision must be made and all. I think I am off the point here, sorry this is my take.
I think you need to look at this one Mike.
...Carrying you precarious cargo ...
Much love,
Justmade.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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This is interesting really.
I think there was a number of things going on here.
I imagined the bridge as that point in life when a big decision must be made and all. I think I am off the point here, sorry this is my take.
I think you need to look at this one Mike.
...Carrying you precarious cargo ...
Much love,
Justmade.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Off point! Never! This poem has side issues and plenty of symbolism. There are two bridges, the first one is traveled in fear of demons, with her bloom, the demons don't bother her anymore so there is no longer a concern. In a sense, I would love to be that garden, with her hand, crafting me at my best. Just the way that I would love both myself and the outside world to be perceived.
I thank you very much for the compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from Twomoon
mike, this is a lovely writer, I wish my sixers did not leave so quickly as this was well written and I walked there too with tea in hand...somehow I know this bridge, smile..an interesting passion here. thanks for sharing this poem so well driven and with an understanding of depth in nature and of balance and love, as all touch this peace...take care much love twomoon
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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mike, this is a lovely writer, I wish my sixers did not leave so quickly as this was well written and I walked there too with tea in hand...somehow I know this bridge, smile..an interesting passion here. thanks for sharing this poem so well driven and with an understanding of depth in nature and of balance and love, as all touch this peace...take care much love twomoon
Comment Written 24-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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There are two bridges, the one we use to confuse our fears and most likely other people, and the one we are able to walk across when we know ourselves and have faith in others. One doesn't have to understand the I Ching to appreciate the various ponderings. This was on my mind for a couple of days, and it was the cynical Anthony Bourdain who's cooking show, turned into this apprehensive journalism. Now that feeling, but with the explorer's tide, it last but a minute as he increases his stride. My conswquences were more imediate. You have to committ or there is no hope. It is funny what lines of thought incorperate themselves into a single poem.
I thank you for stopping by and refreshing me with your tea. Just a simple wood ember fire and I created for you my favorite dish, Singapor style, Mei Fun! Yes, Much love.
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thank you so and yum yum...hugs two
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Hugs...
Comment from MsRefusenik
How precious is the smallest bit of life in nature and in us? This poem is probably too deep for my lazy mind but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Thanks for sharing it.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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How precious is the smallest bit of life in nature and in us? This poem is probably too deep for my lazy mind but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Thanks for sharing it.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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It is a paradox, in the smallest part of nature, we find ourselves. Thank you for enjoying the poem, the compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from VICTIMEYES
Comforted by a just a
promise of a stick...
in a pack.
maybe one two many "a's" there, but aside from that you manage a good rhyming piece, which could pertain to a lot of things.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Comforted by a just a
promise of a stick...
in a pack.
maybe one two many "a's" there, but aside from that you manage a good rhyming piece, which could pertain to a lot of things.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Thank you for making it so easy for me to figure out. I did find and fix it. Sort of a Canadian form of Where's Waldo-A. LOL
Thank yo very much for thaking the time to review this and your compliments. I am glad that you discovered the design.
Comment from prodigal
Well done. Your rhyme and meter were both spot on. You picked the perfect photo to go along with your poem. I think overall it had a very good flow to it. I did have a little trouble figuring out if there were dual meanings to your poem or not. At any rate, Good job. - Sam
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2009
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Well done. Your rhyme and meter were both spot on. You picked the perfect photo to go along with your poem. I think overall it had a very good flow to it. I did have a little trouble figuring out if there were dual meanings to your poem or not. At any rate, Good job. - Sam
Comment Written 23-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2009
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Yes, many duel meanings and double entenre's, that is the fun of it all. Thank you very much for the compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from giovannimariatommaso
Mike K2, I give this a 4 but the message is a 5, only as a personal preference as a reader of poetry and listener I would suggest: (It is much easier to copy the whole poem so I don't have to go up & down with the cursor) Also, I would like to see more ownership in this new philosophy as it applies to you whether it applies to you or not, don't lay it solely upon the reader. It caused a flash or a spark within to get you thinking so let us see its effects on you and your reactions to it.
Here goes;
You cautiously cross your
crooked bridge looking back.
Carrying you precarious cargo
you snuck along in your pack. (sneek, snuck would be ok if crossed were used above, or you use have snuck along)
Inanimate sticks to the
untrained layman's eye.
But worth planting in the
center garden you ply.
Patiently you frequently
stop by and ear a listen.
As the buds arise and so in
joy the dew doth glisten.
Most of the buds stay ever (I think you want seeds here)
so quitefully wrapped tight.
But a quiet whisper can be
heard in the din before night.
You hesitantly clip the buds (new shoots)
that don't gain life and sing.
Remorsefully hoping for the one
remaining to let out its ring.
To your surprise, bursting forth
and unexpected and glorious bloom.
That seems to last for life in (a lifetime)
an immaculate, beautiful bloom!
An anomaly in life as most fell (fall)
to once again become the ground.
(For) The remainder of your life the
memory won't die, remaining around.
One can then cross a
straight bridge back.
Comforted by a just a (omit a)
promise of a stick...
in a pack.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2009
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Mike K2, I give this a 4 but the message is a 5, only as a personal preference as a reader of poetry and listener I would suggest: (It is much easier to copy the whole poem so I don't have to go up & down with the cursor) Also, I would like to see more ownership in this new philosophy as it applies to you whether it applies to you or not, don't lay it solely upon the reader. It caused a flash or a spark within to get you thinking so let us see its effects on you and your reactions to it.
Here goes;
You cautiously cross your
crooked bridge looking back.
Carrying you precarious cargo
you snuck along in your pack. (sneek, snuck would be ok if crossed were used above, or you use have snuck along)
Inanimate sticks to the
untrained layman's eye.
But worth planting in the
center garden you ply.
Patiently you frequently
stop by and ear a listen.
As the buds arise and so in
joy the dew doth glisten.
Most of the buds stay ever (I think you want seeds here)
so quitefully wrapped tight.
But a quiet whisper can be
heard in the din before night.
You hesitantly clip the buds (new shoots)
that don't gain life and sing.
Remorsefully hoping for the one
remaining to let out its ring.
To your surprise, bursting forth
and unexpected and glorious bloom.
That seems to last for life in (a lifetime)
an immaculate, beautiful bloom!
An anomaly in life as most fell (fall)
to once again become the ground.
(For) The remainder of your life the
memory won't die, remaining around.
One can then cross a
straight bridge back.
Comforted by a just a (omit a)
promise of a stick...
in a pack.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2009
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Well, there is a lot going on here. I wanted so time to pass so I skipped a few steps in the growing to get to the meaning. I will look at reviesions later. Thank you for revieing this. Mike
Comment from Alexander E Poet
Great poem good message, love the imagery and the thoughts behind it. You done a great job and are a talented poet it has a clear message vision. There were no errors. No typo's and nothing to change as far as i can see. I look forward to your next one. bullyd Bully for you QQ
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2009
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Great poem good message, love the imagery and the thoughts behind it. You done a great job and are a talented poet it has a clear message vision. There were no errors. No typo's and nothing to change as far as i can see. I look forward to your next one. bullyd Bully for you QQ
Comment Written 23-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2009
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Thank you very much QQ for the compliments and htis review. I don't know, the concept just came to me and wanted to be posted. Always looking forward t being reviewed by you. It is an honor since that started.
