A Leaf on the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Colleen's World"Autobiography of abuse
10 total reviews
Comment from medicnate
I hope all turned out well in the end for Colleen. She seems like a very special girl. The writing is still riveting and keeps my attention. Don't think I've sat and read a story completely through like this on FanStory, hehe.
~medicnate~
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2009
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I hope all turned out well in the end for Colleen. She seems like a very special girl. The writing is still riveting and keeps my attention. Don't think I've sat and read a story completely through like this on FanStory, hehe.
~medicnate~
Comment Written 05-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2009
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I am happy to say Colleen is doing great. I often chuckle knowing despite her severe disability she lives in a very nice group home, have a job, and is doing very, very well.
Comment from Lois Delaney
This is all so horrible. I didn't notice any nits to pick apart. Colleen is lucky to have a sister she can love and count on. You protected those girls for years. Good for you!
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2009
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This is all so horrible. I didn't notice any nits to pick apart. Colleen is lucky to have a sister she can love and count on. You protected those girls for years. Good for you!
Comment Written 07-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2009
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She was/is a very special person. While I tried to protect my sisters, it was a big task and not always easy.
Comment from Seraphim Delphinium
I once was a caregiver for an autistic child. Parts of this reminded me of that child. I can understand how Valuerie would "see the beauty" in Colleen's perception of the world. An excellent and tender read. Seraph~
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
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I once was a caregiver for an autistic child. Parts of this reminded me of that child. I can understand how Valuerie would "see the beauty" in Colleen's perception of the world. An excellent and tender read. Seraph~
Comment Written 25-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
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Thank you, once again, for your kind words. I sincerely appreciate your opinion.
Comment from Stacey Lynne Wells
Yes, it seems she is living in her own world. But she's so sweet and innocent. I hope she's doing well in spite of the fact she can't live on her own. Does she still wear kleenex boxes on her feet? That's too funny! She seems so sweet and cute. I wish that things get better for her, but at least she's creative. Well, have a good night.
Rachel
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
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Yes, it seems she is living in her own world. But she's so sweet and innocent. I hope she's doing well in spite of the fact she can't live on her own. Does she still wear kleenex boxes on her feet? That's too funny! She seems so sweet and cute. I wish that things get better for her, but at least she's creative. Well, have a good night.
Rachel
Comment Written 24-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
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She is doing fine. She lives in a lovely group home and still makes mobiles, cute little animals out of paper clips, and loves cartoons. Thank you for your interest and high rating.
Comment from laurelp
Five sisters, that's a large family. Probably all abused by the father. This chapter was very well written. I found no errors. It was straight forward and to the point. I strangely found it to be one of my favorite chapters so far.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Five sisters, that's a large family. Probably all abused by the father. This chapter was very well written. I found no errors. It was straight forward and to the point. I strangely found it to be one of my favorite chapters so far.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Thank you for the positive review and the high rating too.
Comment from carl8447
This is a strong piece of writing. I feel the pain in this, I just looked up and saw that it was biographical. So this must of been painful for you to write.
Good job overall
Carl
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2009
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This is a strong piece of writing. I feel the pain in this, I just looked up and saw that it was biographical. So this must of been painful for you to write.
Good job overall
Carl
Comment Written 23-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2009
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Thank you for your comments. Yes, it was difficult to write but necessary for the book. Thank you for your high rating too.
Comment from The Rivaling Mimic
This was a superb piece of prose. I found this to be highly entertaining as it delivered a wonderful storyline. I found that your flow and imagery worked out well enough for me to rate it with what I feel it so properly deserves. I have noticed no room for improvement.
The Rivaling Mimic
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2009
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This was a superb piece of prose. I found this to be highly entertaining as it delivered a wonderful storyline. I found that your flow and imagery worked out well enough for me to rate it with what I feel it so properly deserves. I have noticed no room for improvement.
The Rivaling Mimic
Comment Written 23-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2009
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Thank you so very much. I truly appreciate your opinion.
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
Valerie this must have been a little easier to write than some of the other chapters. The delightful descriptions of Colleen and her creative talent are lovely. How puzzling that the little girl so lives in a world of her own. This is nice writing. I found a couple typos to point out:
There are several spelling errors in the background section - namely, 'tries' (you have ties), 'seek' (you have seak), 'signs' (you have sinces) and 'damage' (you have damange)
">>>I could see Mom sitting at the dining (you have dinning) room table..."
"....quietly watched as her expression change(d) from frustration to....."
Hope I have been of some use to you.
All the best.
Kat
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2009
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Valerie this must have been a little easier to write than some of the other chapters. The delightful descriptions of Colleen and her creative talent are lovely. How puzzling that the little girl so lives in a world of her own. This is nice writing. I found a couple typos to point out:
There are several spelling errors in the background section - namely, 'tries' (you have ties), 'seek' (you have seak), 'signs' (you have sinces) and 'damage' (you have damange)
">>>I could see Mom sitting at the dining (you have dinning) room table..."
"....quietly watched as her expression change(d) from frustration to....."
Hope I have been of some use to you.
All the best.
Kat
Comment Written 23-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2009
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Yes. As always, I appreciate your attention to detail. Thank you for your high rating too.
Comment from Alcuin
I love the characters and the story makes perfect sense in Colleen's world and in Valerie's too, but I'm a little unhappy about the use of therapist language for the narrator voice (which I believe should be Valerie's voice). In other words, phrases like "Her verbal skills were excellent but her communication skills were all but non-existent" don't work so well here. Whereas the phrase in the next sentence "eloquent gibberish" works perfectly if Valerie is aged 12 to 14. (I'm not sure how old she's supposed to be.)
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2009
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I love the characters and the story makes perfect sense in Colleen's world and in Valerie's too, but I'm a little unhappy about the use of therapist language for the narrator voice (which I believe should be Valerie's voice). In other words, phrases like "Her verbal skills were excellent but her communication skills were all but non-existent" don't work so well here. Whereas the phrase in the next sentence "eloquent gibberish" works perfectly if Valerie is aged 12 to 14. (I'm not sure how old she's supposed to be.)
Comment Written 23-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2009
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Thank you for your suggestions. I'll look over that section and see what I can do.
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I looked over the chapte and agree that section needed more clarification. Instead of adding to the chapter I explained my detailed knowledge of Colleens psychological condition in the comment section at the top. I was very young but I also went with my mother to most of Colleen's psychiatrist appointments an became familiar with his descriptions of her behavior. I hope this helps.
Comment from adewpearl
You portray Colleen in such vivid and loving detail - it is true, people who have a slightly "different" approach to life
seem to create their own joy - there is a developmentally challenged girl who some days helps me when I volunteer at the homeless shelter, and she is the happiest person I know despite her limitations and her circumstances. You depict this so well! Brooke
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2009
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You portray Colleen in such vivid and loving detail - it is true, people who have a slightly "different" approach to life
seem to create their own joy - there is a developmentally challenged girl who some days helps me when I volunteer at the homeless shelter, and she is the happiest person I know despite her limitations and her circumstances. You depict this so well! Brooke
Comment Written 23-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2009
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Thank you. Colleen is still a loving and very sweet woman.
