Sonnets
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Like a Lighthouse"sonnets
106 total reviews
Comment from JeJo
Brooke,
oh aren't there some lovely and unique rhymes in here! shoals/souls and thwart/port make up for this not being a traditional rhyming sonnet. many time I enjoy writing sonnets with a different rhyme scheme, such as (and especially) aabb, ccdd, eeff, gg - I have no clue if that is a 'form' or just a modified sonnet. I'm calling it a couplet sonnet :)
all the rhymes in this piece are beautiful and flow so well. As always, I love the alliteration and repeated sounds: beams/beacon, ships/safe/shoals, signal/since/saved/souls, rugged/rocks, craggy/coasts, wind/waves/worst, passage/port, and dark/douses... my there is a lot!
small suggestion: Just as I thought... - Just when I thought
The imagery is very good, especially:
"When rugged rocks have formed a craggy coast,
when wind-swept waves have done their worst to thwart" - I love this part!
The couplet is amazing and has a great turn, from physically lost at sea and rescued, to rescued by someone in your life... I love the metaphor..
Great sonnet! All the best, Jen
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2010
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Brooke,
oh aren't there some lovely and unique rhymes in here! shoals/souls and thwart/port make up for this not being a traditional rhyming sonnet. many time I enjoy writing sonnets with a different rhyme scheme, such as (and especially) aabb, ccdd, eeff, gg - I have no clue if that is a 'form' or just a modified sonnet. I'm calling it a couplet sonnet :)
all the rhymes in this piece are beautiful and flow so well. As always, I love the alliteration and repeated sounds: beams/beacon, ships/safe/shoals, signal/since/saved/souls, rugged/rocks, craggy/coasts, wind/waves/worst, passage/port, and dark/douses... my there is a lot!
small suggestion: Just as I thought... - Just when I thought
The imagery is very good, especially:
"When rugged rocks have formed a craggy coast,
when wind-swept waves have done their worst to thwart" - I love this part!
The couplet is amazing and has a great turn, from physically lost at sea and rescued, to rescued by someone in your life... I love the metaphor..
Great sonnet! All the best, Jen
Comment Written 24-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2010
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Jen, thank you, again, my most thoughtful friend and writing colleague. You've made my night :-) Brooke
Comment from Nescher Pyscher
Meehhhhh . . .
I dunno, dude. I grant you, I don't much like sonnets, but when I see one that doesn't really ring my bell, I hafta say something.
It's an okay piece, but it's not a bell-ringer. Nothing about it really knocks me upside the head and says, "This is a great sonnet!" Yes, the ending line is quite clever, and I liked the way you tied your loved one to the life-saving capacity of a light house, but it's been done before, and when you use a tried and true premise, you've really gotta go above and beyond, and I just don't think you did that here.
It's clean and polished, and I think you played by the rules, but it just didn't get to that last shiny bit where I can faithfully give you a fifth star.
'Course, it's recognized and read 249 times at this point, so who cares what I think?
:0)
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2009
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Meehhhhh . . .
I dunno, dude. I grant you, I don't much like sonnets, but when I see one that doesn't really ring my bell, I hafta say something.
It's an okay piece, but it's not a bell-ringer. Nothing about it really knocks me upside the head and says, "This is a great sonnet!" Yes, the ending line is quite clever, and I liked the way you tied your loved one to the life-saving capacity of a light house, but it's been done before, and when you use a tried and true premise, you've really gotta go above and beyond, and I just don't think you did that here.
It's clean and polished, and I think you played by the rules, but it just didn't get to that last shiny bit where I can faithfully give you a fifth star.
'Course, it's recognized and read 249 times at this point, so who cares what I think?
:0)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2009
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I always care what you think, but I do particularly like this one, so I'm not going to go changing it. :-) Thank you, Brooke
Comment from nukrz
Beautiful poem and I loved the ending of it...
Just as I thought no one could hear my plea,
you, like the steadfast lighthouse, rescued me.
It sums everything up you know. Very nice
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2009
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Beautiful poem and I loved the ending of it...
Just as I thought no one could hear my plea,
you, like the steadfast lighthouse, rescued me.
It sums everything up you know. Very nice
Comment Written 20-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2009
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This is a great review - thank you!!! Brooke
Comment from The Rivaling Mimic
This was interesting. The modern sonnet isn't a form that intrigues me as it does others. Don't worry, I'm not one of those reviewers who deduct because I don't like something. Trust me, I've ran into quite a few of those and they never cease to disappoint me with their narrow minds. Your work speaks for itself and for that you earned the rating. Best to you.
The Rivaling Mimic
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2009
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This was interesting. The modern sonnet isn't a form that intrigues me as it does others. Don't worry, I'm not one of those reviewers who deduct because I don't like something. Trust me, I've ran into quite a few of those and they never cease to disappoint me with their narrow minds. Your work speaks for itself and for that you earned the rating. Best to you.
The Rivaling Mimic
Comment Written 20-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2009
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Thank you - I've seen people review my work and the work of others and deduct because they don't like haiku or cinquains or rhyming poetry or you name it - it's like - why review one of those types of poems if you just innately hate it and plan to grade it down no matter how well the person writes within it? I love modern sonnets and traditional ones - I just tend to think more in the modern mode. But Shakespeare is my main man! LOL Thank you, Brooke
Comment from Brandenpaul
I'm am still amazed at the various different types of poetry out there. I liked the way you gave the lighthouse life in this piece. The feel of the poem is natural as well. Enjoyed.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2009
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I'm am still amazed at the various different types of poetry out there. I liked the way you gave the lighthouse life in this piece. The feel of the poem is natural as well. Enjoyed.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2009
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Thanks for this most thoughtful review, Brooke
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'Like a Lighthouse' is an extremely well written piece. The style, structure and content are presented in an exemplary fashion. This talented poet has honed her craft with care and skill. It was a privilege to read and review a work of this caliber.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2009
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'Like a Lighthouse' is an extremely well written piece. The style, structure and content are presented in an exemplary fashion. This talented poet has honed her craft with care and skill. It was a privilege to read and review a work of this caliber.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2009
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Thank you for this most encouraging review!! Brooke
Brooke you deserve it. You write like an angel!
Kindest wishes,
the Duchess
Comment from Bryana
I've been in love with lighthouses
since I can remember, I find them
elegant, helpful, friendly.
This is very true ...
The lighthouse beams its beacon from the
shore
to keep ships safe from crashing on the shoals.
Thank you Brooke for sharing your beautiful Sonnet. Ann
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2009
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I've been in love with lighthouses
since I can remember, I find them
elegant, helpful, friendly.
This is very true ...
The lighthouse beams its beacon from the
shore
to keep ships safe from crashing on the shoals.
Thank you Brooke for sharing your beautiful Sonnet. Ann
Comment Written 20-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2009
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Ann, thank you to a fellow lighthouse lover! Brooke
Comment from ersorenson
First, thanks for a great poem. Second, thanks for your Author Notes, you have taught me a lot about poetry and I have begun to read others as well. This poem is a nice one. It reminds me that everyone needs a light to guide the way; those who fail to see it or to find it or those unfortunate enough not to have a light, must live miserable lives. I pity them. Great poem.
Eric
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2009
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First, thanks for a great poem. Second, thanks for your Author Notes, you have taught me a lot about poetry and I have begun to read others as well. This poem is a nice one. It reminds me that everyone needs a light to guide the way; those who fail to see it or to find it or those unfortunate enough not to have a light, must live miserable lives. I pity them. Great poem.
Eric
Comment Written 20-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2009
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Eric, thank you - I am honored by your comments! Brooke
Comment from P1
brooke, this is so lovely
apart from the fact that it is a perfectly
written sonnet, the sentiment is so
beautiful, to be rescued...how romantic
i really like this. hugs lynda.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2009
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brooke, this is so lovely
apart from the fact that it is a perfectly
written sonnet, the sentiment is so
beautiful, to be rescued...how romantic
i really like this. hugs lynda.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2009
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Lynda, thank you for such gracious comments!! Brooke
Comment from LadyMary
This is a wonderful sonnet, and thank you for the Author Notes. I love the "humanization" of the lighthouse and strength both to those at sea and to a special relationship. Beautifully done. Mary
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2009
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This is a wonderful sonnet, and thank you for the Author Notes. I love the "humanization" of the lighthouse and strength both to those at sea and to a special relationship. Beautifully done. Mary
Comment Written 19-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2009
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Mary, thank you for your perceptive read and kind review,Brooke
