Reviews from

A Leaf on the Wind

Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Fear"
Autobiography of abuse

33 total reviews 
Comment from Stacey Lynne Wells
Excellent
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I can't believe he did that. I am outraged. That is wrong and sick. He needs to do some time in jail for that. I wish you the best of luck in your book and look forward to read more.

Regards,

Rachel

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2009
    Again, thank you for your kind words. As I said before, difficult but necessary book for me to write.
Comment from jodeecee
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Sister Superior continued to believe /cut:comparing me with Teresa, convinced/ praising Teresa's virtues and pointing out my numerous failings would show me the error of my ways. Teresa was smarter than I was.

All I could remember was sitting at my desk and /suddenly/ feeling the hot burning sensation of Sister Mary slapping my hand with the thick wooden ruler she always kept hidden in her vest pocket. The cruel laughter of my classmates was more than I could bear. Standing in the hallway I /suddenly/ smelled a strong unpleasant odor, much like rotten eggs. For a brief moment, I felt an odd , uncomfortable sensation in my stomach immediately followed by the sound of a loud wail that sounded as though it had come out of my mouth. Suddenly everything around me went black.

Gasping for breath/e/ I begged him to stop.

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2009
    I agree "believe" is not necessary and will address my overuse of "suddenly"...I will also address the spacing and grammar issues your point out. Againk thank you for the time you are taking withe my book. I appreciate your efforts.
Comment from jodeecee
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Sister Superior continued to believe /cut:comparing me with Teresa, convinced/ praising Teresa's virtues and pointing out my numerous failings would show me the error of my ways. Teresa was smarter than I was.

All I could remember was sitting at my desk and /suddenly/ feeling the hot burning sensation of Sister Mary slapping my hand with the thick wooden ruler she always kept hidden in her vest pocket. The cruel laughter of my classmates was more than I could bear. Standing in the hallway I /suddenly/ smelled a strong unpleasant odor, much like rotten eggs. For a brief moment, I felt an odd , uncomfortable sensation in my stomach immediately followed by the sound of a loud wail that sounded as though it had come out of my mouth. Suddenly everything around me went black.

Gasping for breath/e/ I begged him to stop.

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2009
    Than you for your comments. I appreciate your keen eye which obviousl I am lacking. Again, thank you for taking so much time to review my work.
Comment from laurelp
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I have never read anything like that before. How you could exist with this I don't understand. The horrors that adults do to children sometimes. And then they think you should love them afterwards. So very sad.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 07-Feb-2009
    Thank you for your sympathetic words. Sadly, many face similar abuse every day. I hope my book helps some of them see there is a light at the end of the tunnel (pardon the over used quote).
Comment from Jonez08
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This is absolutely horrible for anyone to go through. It brought tears to my eyes. If it's you that experienced this I am so so sorry. The pain of my own father's rejection and absense hurt me deeply. I wanted him to love me, but he didn't bother to be apart of my life, so the pain seeped from childhood into adulthood, until one day I had to let it go. But after reading your story I realize it could have been so much worse. Thank you for sharing.

Cassandra

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 07-Feb-2009
    Thank you for your kind words. Over the years I have learned that the sad life expreriences we carry in our heart are not a competition. What makes you sad is not necessarily lessend by the knowledge somone else was sadder. However, I do take comfort in knowing I was not alone and feel deep compassion for those who carry sadness and regret throughout their lives.
reply by Jonez08 on 07-Feb-2009
    Very true, I'll remember that. Thanks so much.
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You know what? This could be from my own autobiography - except for you had a Mummy and I had a Monster. You have written well. The imagery, thoughts, emotions, fears, pains and sensations are vivid and well described. I know how difficult it is to write this stuff - and write it well (my own is also under construction). I am somewhat dazed here. On the one hand , simply gutted to learn of your suffering. On the other, humbled by your willingness to share it. You must continue. Not only will you find and meet kindred spirits who have suffered as well along life's way - but setting it down it has a wonderful healing effect. I have discovered that sometimes, others read these accounts and it gives them to courage to step forward and say "Hey, this happened to me as well". I found one minor (I think it's a typo rather than spelling). "The weight of his body was so great I could hardly breathe. Gasping for breath(e) I begged him to stop. Keep going with this. I shall follow your progress avidly. I want to know the story of your life continues. Most of all I want to know how you survived and stand today, healed enough to tell us all about your struggles. May your gods watch over you. All the best to you. Kat

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 07-Feb-2009
    Thank you. I value your opinion and look forward to your thoughts as the book progresss. Again, thank you.
Comment from Seraphim Delphinium
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This story is exceptionally well crafted from first word to last. The subject matter is absolutely excruciating and horrifying. Unfortunately, and all too often, children's voices are not heard--not heard at all--even the courts dismiss testimony of children. I wonder what kind of a mother would believe a "picket fence" excuse. My opinion is that many times the mother IS aware, but cannot bring herself to face reality--or worse, faces reality and then ACCEPTS it. The child is then raped twice--physically and psychically/emotionally. A riveting story which took a lot of strength and courage to write. My heart goes out to that poor little girl. Seraph

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2009
    Thank you. My story is also about my mothe, family and the people around me who turned a bind eye. It is a difficult story to write but I feel an important one. Thank you for you honest coments.
reply by Seraphim Delphinium on 06-Feb-2009
    You are very welcome!
Comment from littlewriter50
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This must be excruciating, yet freeing, to put it all down in words. My heart breaks for this little girl, for you. You've been able to bring the reader in so close, it is so real. It made me cry. Don't stop.

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2009
    Thank you. Yes, it was a hard book to write but very theraputic at the same time. I wanted the reader to experience the trauma from the point of view of the child. I hope I have succeeded. Again, thank you for you kind words.
Comment from dmjones
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This is horrible and I know it happens all to often and that's why it needs to be told.

Some suggestions:

I new(knew) he

could her(delete her) him cursing

that he had (delete had) hurt me.

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2009
    Thank you very much for you kind words and appreciate the suggestions. Again, thank you.
Comment from lola29
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Your writing is emotionally gripping and yet sadly tender as told through the eyes of a child. All my feelings -terror, shock, horror, compassion, anger - were stirred and released as I was drawn into this child's nighmare.
I must read more.
Bravo!

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2009
    Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate everyone's opinion and value their input.