With Mother's Milk You Succoured Me
Baby's afterthoughts?16 total reviews
Comment from NadineM
Peter,
I appreciate your poem about what babe's thoughts might be while at his mother's breasts. I cannot say this is one of my favorite poems of yours but I understand its own beauty.
I must be clueless, but don't know what your author's notes means when it says a "yummy mummy"...
Good luck in the contest.
Thanks for sharing this with me.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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Peter,
I appreciate your poem about what babe's thoughts might be while at his mother's breasts. I cannot say this is one of my favorite poems of yours but I understand its own beauty.
I must be clueless, but don't know what your author's notes means when it says a "yummy mummy"...
Good luck in the contest.
Thanks for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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Thank you, Nadine. I wouldn't expect you to like them all, but I constantly search for new themes, new angles. In fact the response to this one has been good, including a few men. 'Yummy mummy' is current jargon, at least in the UK for attractive, mature mothers. Peter
Comment from aviddbrut
wow, peter, what an interesting poem. to write from the perspective of a nursing babe is certainly very unique and you pull it off well. great job. good luck in the contest.
david
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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wow, peter, what an interesting poem. to write from the perspective of a nursing babe is certainly very unique and you pull it off well. great job. good luck in the contest.
david
Comment Written 04-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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Thank you very much. Peter
Comment from MJMuraco
Your poem is a very creative take on a feeling. It flowed beautifully and truly screamed with the tenderness and joy of a nursing infant. Nice job.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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Your poem is a very creative take on a feeling. It flowed beautifully and truly screamed with the tenderness and joy of a nursing infant. Nice job.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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Thank you so much, Peter
Comment from sherlock85
You communicated very clearly. Maybe a few lines could be more smooth. Some of the rhymes felt a little forces, but overall good job.
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reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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You communicated very clearly. Maybe a few lines could be more smooth. Some of the rhymes felt a little forces, but overall good job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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Thank you. Peter
Comment from LauraKatherine
How beautiful and what an unusual perspective. I never nursed either of my babies due to a preexisting medical condition and my needed medication, but it is still so special to feed a baby and hold their warmth against your body and watch with gratification when they suck down their nourishment. (The nice part about bottle feeding is that daddy gets in on it, too!)
I particularly liked this part: "I heard your heart,/.../your refuge where I felt caressed." Loving arms do make us feel secure, and there we can feel the other's heart for us. (I've read that one of the names of God is El Shaddai, and the Hebrew for "Shad" corresponds with our word "breast". Interesting parallel between a baby seeking nourishment and refuge from his/her mother, and us seeking the same from God.)
Everything here works together so well. This was moving. Thanks for sharing this with us. Laura
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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How beautiful and what an unusual perspective. I never nursed either of my babies due to a preexisting medical condition and my needed medication, but it is still so special to feed a baby and hold their warmth against your body and watch with gratification when they suck down their nourishment. (The nice part about bottle feeding is that daddy gets in on it, too!)
I particularly liked this part: "I heard your heart,/.../your refuge where I felt caressed." Loving arms do make us feel secure, and there we can feel the other's heart for us. (I've read that one of the names of God is El Shaddai, and the Hebrew for "Shad" corresponds with our word "breast". Interesting parallel between a baby seeking nourishment and refuge from his/her mother, and us seeking the same from God.)
Everything here works together so well. This was moving. Thanks for sharing this with us. Laura
Comment Written 04-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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Thank you, Laura, for your always intelligent and thoughtful reviews. We also read of the Lord sheltering his people under his wings, so he has feminine attributes also. Are you well read in the Hebrew scriptures? Perhaps you are Jewish, which would be cool. Is the condition the same bipolar one you spoke of? Shalom anyway. Peter
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No, I'm not Jewish. I'm a sort of ethnic mutt: English, German, Scotch-Irish and Norwegian! I did go to Christian schools until college, so we learned a lot about the Hebrew scriptures there.
The medical condition is the bipolar one. Oddly enough, I could take this medicine during pregnancy but I couldn't breastfeed while I took it. (Something about the mother's antibodies helping to filter out the medication before it made it to the baby during pregnancy.) It was terribly disappointing to not be able to breastfeed my daughters, but I needed the medication since the postpartum period can be difficult mentally for bipolar women, and my daughters needed mommy to be mentally and emotionally stable. We all made it through okay, even though I had my unstable moments. LK
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Thank you, Laura, for even answering my probing enquiry, though I do care. You have got things under control, it seems, and it's interesting that your experience informs your writing of the novel.
Comment from Karen B.
Peter, I love your expression of the love that passes between a baby and mom during breastfeeding. This poem is warm, playful, and sensual all combined into a delightful read. Best wishes in the contest! Karen
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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Peter, I love your expression of the love that passes between a baby and mom during breastfeeding. This poem is warm, playful, and sensual all combined into a delightful read. Best wishes in the contest! Karen
Comment Written 04-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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Thank you so much, Karen. Peter
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
This is a clever piece of
verse, Peter - with a smooth
flow to the words that speak
of baby's thoughts of mother's
milk - the most natural thing
in the world.
Lovely,
Margaret.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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This is a clever piece of
verse, Peter - with a smooth
flow to the words that speak
of baby's thoughts of mother's
milk - the most natural thing
in the world.
Lovely,
Margaret.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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Thank you, Margaret. It's an unusual theme for me. Peter
Comment from Ian Ayris
Hi Peter.
So difficult to write from the experience of an infant. But I think you pulled it off wonderfully. Loved your use of the senses in this one, and the oh so true feeling that when the baby is engaging in this most intimate of relationships, nothing else exists.
My favourite verse:
sometimes when full I'd have to pause,
and limply open little jaws,
till you took me and turned me round
so that your other 'shop' I found.
Only bit that threw me a little was the last line. I was somewhat confused as to whose refuge it was meant to be: the baby's from pains of hunger, or the mother's in order to feel complete. Perhaps both:
'our refuge where both felt caressed'
Thank you for sharing such a lovely poem, Peter.
Look after yourself, my friend.
Warmest regards,
Ian
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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Hi Peter.
So difficult to write from the experience of an infant. But I think you pulled it off wonderfully. Loved your use of the senses in this one, and the oh so true feeling that when the baby is engaging in this most intimate of relationships, nothing else exists.
My favourite verse:
sometimes when full I'd have to pause,
and limply open little jaws,
till you took me and turned me round
so that your other 'shop' I found.
Only bit that threw me a little was the last line. I was somewhat confused as to whose refuge it was meant to be: the baby's from pains of hunger, or the mother's in order to feel complete. Perhaps both:
'our refuge where both felt caressed'
Thank you for sharing such a lovely poem, Peter.
Look after yourself, my friend.
Warmest regards,
Ian
Comment Written 04-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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Thank you for your thoughtful evaluation, Ian. I've never written anything like this, and, of course, no one has reported memories of this period, not even after being regressed, so I think we may conclude that I fabricated this. However, I do so adore the vignette of mother and baby. Peter
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Hi Peter.
I so agree with the mother/baby thing. Having three little ones of our own, it's been a real pleasure to see first hand such love.
My first post here on FS, a long time ago, was actually an effort of describing from a baby's point of view waking up in the night. I've disabled it since, but dug it out, just for the sake of interest. Not sure it came off, for I since realised I am no poet, but here it is anyway, just for you:
TO BE A BABY ALONE IN THE NIGHT
I am screaming, I am screaming so loud I think I might burst,
But my screams do not stop the pain.
They do not make the darkness go away,
They just make it different.
I stop and I wait, wide eyed and still, but she does not come.
I close my eyes tight shut. They fill with red, black, and bright flashing green.
I am pounding, shaking, empty; lost in nothingness.
I do not know where I end and the darkness begins.
I am so cold, and I hate her.
At once, everything changes.
Light floods my squeezed tight eyes; I know she is here.
Her sound twinkles and murmurs, filling me with colours.
I smell her touch and am floating in softness and light.
My eyes find hers, and I lose myself in her sweet smelling warmth.
Now I sense the other. He comes close.
I smell his fear, his darkness, his deep flowing doubt; his love.
She rumbles, and he leaves.
Everything I yearn for is in the warmth of her eyes.
I shut my own, and am whole, and I drift gently away on her far away smile.
Speak to you soon, my friend.
Ian
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Thank you, Ian. How interesting that both you and I have considered a baby's possible feelings. Your poem is fine but my natural reaction is to tweak it, with regard to rhyme, rhythm and devices like alliteration and assonance. Ideally, I'd like to have a group of would-be poets and run a workshop, not stealing their poetic babies, but acting like some kind of midwife.
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Know what you mean, Peter. I'm a lot like that with stories and books. Sort of can't hardly help leaving them alone.
Speak to you soon,
Ian
Comment from EllieKaye
Peter,
You have done well with the words and subject matter. I have never seen a poet or writer take the POV of a nursing baby. A joy to read.
Ellie
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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Peter,
You have done well with the words and subject matter. I have never seen a poet or writer take the POV of a nursing baby. A joy to read.
Ellie
Comment Written 04-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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Thank you, Ellie. I'm a bit surprised at myself but it came to mind and could not be resisted. Peter.
Comment from honeytree
Breast milk is the preferred way to feed a baby, if the mother has a good milk supply. We have to feed them with milk from a bottle when a mother hasn't and if Mothers don't want to breast feed.
Both babies are fed properly, but the breast milk is preferred and mother and baby have more love and comfort from one another.
I feel if a Mum can't breast feed, it is a good idea to hold and cuddle her baby more. Giving a child lots of cuddles can help so much.It is a known fact that breast fed babies feel more secure. Being a midwife as well, I have observed this over the years.
I fainted the first time I saw a delivery of a baby.
I delivered heaps after that. I have lost count, the number of babies that I have delivered. I have written about my nursing days, and other matters. I hope to get this book on the move as well.
Honeytree.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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Breast milk is the preferred way to feed a baby, if the mother has a good milk supply. We have to feed them with milk from a bottle when a mother hasn't and if Mothers don't want to breast feed.
Both babies are fed properly, but the breast milk is preferred and mother and baby have more love and comfort from one another.
I feel if a Mum can't breast feed, it is a good idea to hold and cuddle her baby more. Giving a child lots of cuddles can help so much.It is a known fact that breast fed babies feel more secure. Being a midwife as well, I have observed this over the years.
I fainted the first time I saw a delivery of a baby.
I delivered heaps after that. I have lost count, the number of babies that I have delivered. I have written about my nursing days, and other matters. I hope to get this book on the move as well.
Honeytree.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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How interesting, Annie. To be a midwife must be a wonderful profession. Helping mums deliver and giving them and their baby a good start. Petet
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Yes a wonderful profession.Well I have helped deliver many babies. I have lost count. I have two boys and boy the pain having them was hell, the result fantastic. My husband was there with me . He was shocked but happy. Annie
