A Leaf on the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Mrs. B."Autobiography of abuse
24 total reviews
Comment from medicnate
A very cute chapter. We get to see the relationship build between the child and the neighbor. I love the "dumpster diving," hehe. I saw a couple things.
Mrs. Mrs. B (not sure if you meant to state 'Mrs.' twice or not)
or the good stuff.
I reached down into the (need to space the paragraph here, just a formatting issue.)
Great writing.
~medicnate~
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2009
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A very cute chapter. We get to see the relationship build between the child and the neighbor. I love the "dumpster diving," hehe. I saw a couple things.
Mrs. Mrs. B (not sure if you meant to state 'Mrs.' twice or not)
or the good stuff.
I reached down into the (need to space the paragraph here, just a formatting issue.)
Great writing.
~medicnate~
Comment Written 04-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2009
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Thaks for the high rating and all too needed help with spags. I sincerely appreciate it.
Comment from Lois Delaney
What an excellent story. I enjoyed reading this and it reminded me of my Grandmother who never threw anything away. I found no nits. So glad to have come upon this. Wonderful writing.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2009
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What an excellent story. I enjoyed reading this and it reminded me of my Grandmother who never threw anything away. I found no nits. So glad to have come upon this. Wonderful writing.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2009
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Mrs. B. was a hoot. I continue to have fond memories of her. Thanks for the high rating.
Comment from Stacey Lynne Wells
Wow, that's a great memory. Thank you for sharing it with us. Mrs. B seems like a very nice woman who took great care of you. She reminds me of my former babysitter, Geesala. Great write.
Rachel
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2009
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Wow, that's a great memory. Thank you for sharing it with us. Mrs. B seems like a very nice woman who took great care of you. She reminds me of my former babysitter, Geesala. Great write.
Rachel
Comment Written 13-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2009
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Thank you. She was a lovely, fun, excentric lady.
Comment from Ouida
You certainly portrayed Mrs. B as a very fun-loving type older person who has definitely befriended a little girl. She seems to know how to do fun and entertaining things for little girls. Well written and enjoyable.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2009
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You certainly portrayed Mrs. B as a very fun-loving type older person who has definitely befriended a little girl. She seems to know how to do fun and entertaining things for little girls. Well written and enjoyable.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2009
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Thanks. She was a terrific and escentric woman who stole my heart the first time we met.
Comment from jodeecee
Another excellent read. found only two things, an extra Mrs.
and a comma might do good after shoes in the second sentence.
She told me to call her Mrs. B. saying Mrs. Barnaby was too formal. /Mrs./ She often looked after me while Teresa was in school and mommy was off running errands.
After exchanging the boots I was wearing for my shoes /,/ Mrs. B. handed me a large paper sack containing the rabbit food and gave me a kiss on my cheek.
looking forward to reading your entire novel.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2009
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Another excellent read. found only two things, an extra Mrs.
and a comma might do good after shoes in the second sentence.
She told me to call her Mrs. B. saying Mrs. Barnaby was too formal. /Mrs./ She often looked after me while Teresa was in school and mommy was off running errands.
After exchanging the boots I was wearing for my shoes /,/ Mrs. B. handed me a large paper sack containing the rabbit food and gave me a kiss on my cheek.
looking forward to reading your entire novel.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2009
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Again, thank you for your suggestions. I will look over both chapters and see what I can do to fix them.
Comment from laurelp
Nicely done. I appreciate the fact you are telling it from the child's point of view yet using language more befitting an adult. It works well that way.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2009
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Nicely done. I appreciate the fact you are telling it from the child's point of view yet using language more befitting an adult. It works well that way.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2009
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Thank you. Yes, I wanted to convey the point of view of the child but keep the reader's intest. Not always an easy task. Thank you for reassuring me I am succeeding.
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
How lucky you were to have a friend like Mrs. B. She sounds very eccentric and wonderful company. You must have some wonderful memories of her. Nicely written, lovely descriptions. Great job.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2009
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How lucky you were to have a friend like Mrs. B. She sounds very eccentric and wonderful company. You must have some wonderful memories of her. Nicely written, lovely descriptions. Great job.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2009
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Thank you. Yes, mixed in with the ups and downs of my life are many good memoris. Again, thank you for your comments.
Comment from Seraphim Delphinium
What an exquisite story!!! This one just skipped effortlessly down the page and I enjoyed every word of it. Mrs. B's lessons are so very wonderful. Unfortunately, parts of this story reminded me of Upton Sinclair's "The Jungle." Many people don't have rabbits, they rely on the garbage for their personal sustenance. WONDERFUL WORK! Seraph ~
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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What an exquisite story!!! This one just skipped effortlessly down the page and I enjoyed every word of it. Mrs. B's lessons are so very wonderful. Unfortunately, parts of this story reminded me of Upton Sinclair's "The Jungle." Many people don't have rabbits, they rely on the garbage for their personal sustenance. WONDERFUL WORK! Seraph ~
Comment Written 04-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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Thank you for your kind words. Fortunately, mixed in with the ups and downs of my childhood were many good memories to get me through the tough times. Glad you liked the story.
Comment from LexieMannix
Unfortunately the inferred subject matter of this story is too upsetting for me to read more than this chapter. Though, I say unfortunately because it is top writing. Highly professional write, for me, it's smooth, clear and -- regardless of what I fear to come -- is very interesting and enjoyable. I wish you luck with publication, I have no doubt it will be. Sorry I cannot offer you more.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2009
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Unfortunately the inferred subject matter of this story is too upsetting for me to read more than this chapter. Though, I say unfortunately because it is top writing. Highly professional write, for me, it's smooth, clear and -- regardless of what I fear to come -- is very interesting and enjoyable. I wish you luck with publication, I have no doubt it will be. Sorry I cannot offer you more.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2009
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Thank you for you kind comments. I appreciate your concern and respect your decision. Again, Thank You.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very good story you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. Great job my friend. Hugs, Teri
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2009
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This is a very good story you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. Great job my friend. Hugs, Teri
Comment Written 02-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2009
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Thank you. I appreciate your comments and plan to submit more.
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good. i hope to read more of your work
