cinquains
Viewing comments for Chapter 44 "Omaha Beach, D Day"cinquain poetry
74 total reviews
Comment from raimie
Wow the imagery in this piece is strong. I can see it in my mind as I am reading. Also, the photo you posted makes a great trifecta. My father the silor were he alive would say , well done :)
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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Wow the imagery in this piece is strong. I can see it in my mind as I am reading. Also, the photo you posted makes a great trifecta. My father the silor were he alive would say , well done :)
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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Thank you for reviewing this piece no longer posted and for that lovely comment about your dad!!! Brooke
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Well, I am behind in reviewing. My daughters biological father passed away suddenly on the 15th and this has been my first quite moment. 64 messages in the pm. Will take a while :)
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My children's dad died 4 years ago - it was a tragic time for all of us, not to mention a busy time of making preparations and reminiscing and going through his stuff - I understand how overwhelming it all is. I am so sorry for your loss, Brooke
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Thank you, it truly is. His death has brought about feelings I did not even realizw were still there. My daughter is strong though and her sister is going to be staying with us the remainder of the week. Thanks Brooke :)
Comment from dtimes3
I'll put in my "two cents worth." While I understand the form and appreciate your well written notes, I believe that some of these short poems are just too short to do the material justice. Just a gut check for me. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2009
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I'll put in my "two cents worth." While I understand the form and appreciate your well written notes, I believe that some of these short poems are just too short to do the material justice. Just a gut check for me. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2009
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Thank you for your honest opinion, which is always appreciated. Brooke :-)
Comment from Mightierthanthesword
WOW great photograph and seriously good poem. Containing such deep emotions in such few lines.
I love it.
I would like to make a suggestion if I may even question such work:
'his swim through choppy seas
turned red'
Could this be 'stained red'?
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2009
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WOW great photograph and seriously good poem. Containing such deep emotions in such few lines.
I love it.
I would like to make a suggestion if I may even question such work:
'his swim through choppy seas
turned red'
Could this be 'stained red'?
Comment Written 14-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2009
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I will ponder the change :-) I just read your storm poem - I have missed you so much and you sure delivered for a dramatic return!!! Hope to see more reviews from you - I love to get your feedback. You have made my afternoon just by being here :-) Brooke
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Afternoon!! It's nearly nine o clock!
Lol. It's great to be back.
An update of my life in recent days.
I joined a cast producing 12th Night and was cast as Orcino
We got six chickens and I named mine Mr T
I have had exams in Biology, Chemistry and History.
I have writen one poem (which you read)
The end
What you been up to.
X
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Hell, Oli, after that list anything I've been up to makes me sound like a total slacker
So, when is the play being performed? I will assume you are a scene stealer and command the stage with each move you make and word you speak! :-D
And I will assume you aced all the tests.
It's a wonder you wrote even one poem, especially one that fantastic, during all of your activities. A chicken among chickens - so does each family member have the right to name one? :-D I have been doing my usual volunteer work and writing and other not nearly so fascinating stuff. Won a sonnet contest this morning but came in second in a "happy poem" contest that I so should have won~ LOL not that I'm bitter ;-) It would be unbecoming to be bitter over a happy poem. And right now I'm trying to compose the second half of a poem I posted yesterday about Joe the Giraffe, who is afraid of heights. I have him afraid and now must cure him in the second half. :-) I am so glad to see you. Now write another poem to make me all proud and pleased.
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How will Joe find a cure!
I'm on a knife edge.
Well done with the poems! Best I ever got was second once. Points to you!
Performance is in May so it's early days, Shakespeare lines are so hard to learn!
Our chickens are
Dusty, Snowy, Mr T, Rocky, Ginger and Babs They are the most free range chickens ever having a whole acre of field to themselves and lay BLUE eggs!
I'll write again after my History exam which I am naturally revising for right now....kind of. Serious exam pressure going on, especially with my stupid target grades and my teacher threatening to deck me if I do badly! lol.
Driving is going well, doing some manovers and getting out onto 70mph roads now. So now you know about as much abous me atm as I do!
I'm loving your cinquain (spelling??) phase right now by the way, it's a really great style and you really compliment it with your precise and adventurous style!
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blue chicken eggs?? sure someone didn't sell you robins and scam you? LOL
Glad you're liking the cinquains
What is a target score?? Your system has lots of differences from ours they project some score they expect you to get based on the fact you're a child genius and then get angry with you if you don't live up to expectations??? Damn them to hell! LOL
Don't be a wuss about memorizing Shakespeare lines - just do it, young man.
:-D And in the meantime, try to track down the guy who sold your mum and dad the robins ;-)
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Lol sneaky! He must have pumped them up with a bicycle pump or something to make them look bigger. And red rubber gloves for combs just like in Wallice and GromiT! What a scam!
Yes what they do is take your scores from GCSE (exams when you're 15-16) and put them through a complex system and work out what you should get at AS and A2 levels. You're graded regularly in class and if you slip up for a bit teachers sit you down and tell you to work harder and basicaly help you out. You get praise for overachieving and lectures for underachieving. Sucks a bit getting 5 A's predicted I can tell you!
Also every term you get a report telling you if you are achieving your target levels.
Then you get university offers based on what you get in AS and your predictions for A2 (in which there is an option wierdly for A* grades one above an A) and they say you can get in if you get these grades, then you go away and get the grades.
AAAAGGGGHHHHHH!
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that is brutal!!!!! the better you do the more they expect and you get clobbered for not living up to the highest standards you set by doing well early on!! Truly brutal.
Betcha you have fewer underachieving gifted kids than we do in America because of it, though. No mollycoddling going on in your system. Even if they don't teach you the difference between a chicken and a robin. LOL
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Lol!
I tell you their chickens! :D
Yeh it's pressure but it gets results.
Also the idea is to award effort not ability. Eg if target grade is an E and you get a D you get rewarded if your target grade is a B and you get an A you are equally rewarded. No-one considered making a special grade where people are nice to me :P
By the way you can tell your new president chap I'm sold after hearing him speak on the Israel-Palastine conflict and sound actualy human about it!
Bed now.
Good night Lovely to catch up!
xx
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the next time my President chap and I chat, I'll be sure to pass your kind words on and just neglect to tell him they're from boy who thinks chickens lay blue eggs LOL
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Please do!
Please find enclosed a picture of BLUE chicken eggs!
Follow this link http://www.rivneyranch.com/RR-eggs.JPG
Oli -1
Brooke -0
Comment from Brian S. Pratt
The beach
within his grasp,
his swim through choppy seas
turned red will soon become a crawl
for life
--truly the greatest generation.
good poem. well done.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2009
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The beach
within his grasp,
his swim through choppy seas
turned red will soon become a crawl
for life
--truly the greatest generation.
good poem. well done.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2009
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Brian, I'm so glad this one resonated with you - thanks, Brooke
Comment from WordPainter
What a sad story, one I'd not heard before. I enjoyed your cinquain and I learned a lot from all this. Thank you for these wonderful snapshots of history that you are sharing in verse and directing us to the photos.
Lois
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2009
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What a sad story, one I'd not heard before. I enjoyed your cinquain and I learned a lot from all this. Thank you for these wonderful snapshots of history that you are sharing in verse and directing us to the photos.
Lois
Comment Written 14-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2009
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Omaha Beach is one of the three landing sites at Normandy on D Day - thank you for your thoughtful comments, Brooke
Comment from FredCollingwood
It was indeed bloody, but it turned the tide of the European front of the way and speeded its end. What a way to win.
Fred
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2009
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It was indeed bloody, but it turned the tide of the European front of the way and speeded its end. What a way to win.
Fred
Comment Written 13-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2009
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Yes, it was necessary and still so tragic. Thank you, Brooke
Comment from JoAnna Lee
Wonderfully written, capturing the will to survive and the horror of thousands that did not. Good choice of photo, too. BRAVO, Brooke!
Thanks for sharing,
Donna
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2009
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Wonderfully written, capturing the will to survive and the horror of thousands that did not. Good choice of photo, too. BRAVO, Brooke!
Thanks for sharing,
Donna
Comment Written 13-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2009
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Donna, you are most thoughtful - thank you, Brooke
Comment from Hitcher
I always love reading your notes Brooke, one would be a fool not to read them because they always take one deeper into the actual poem itself and that can only be a good thing. I always wonder what it must of felt like for those soldiers who survived the war in Europe, celebrated Hitler's surrender to then be told you are off to the south seas because it ain't over yet!
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2009
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I always love reading your notes Brooke, one would be a fool not to read them because they always take one deeper into the actual poem itself and that can only be a good thing. I always wonder what it must of felt like for those soldiers who survived the war in Europe, celebrated Hitler's surrender to then be told you are off to the south seas because it ain't over yet!
Comment Written 13-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2009
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Yes, some of them were off to that war for years - my dad, who was older and had been in the Navy before, was only in the final year of the war when they started calling back older men - he was born in 1909. Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments, Brooke
Comment from Pen&Ink
Hello again adp,
A poignant poem with a great picture. The pristine grave markers belie the ugliness and cruelty of the battle that once raged. My dad set foot on French soil in December, 1944. By that time the beaches were secure. His battle ribbons represent the battle for the Ardennes--"The Battle of the Bulge" as it is commonly called. He survived that nightmare and ended up marrying a German woman who had sighted anti-aircraft guns in an effort to protect her shattered homeland. I'm glad the Allies won, but I have sympathy for my mom's plight.
Anyway, just jabbering. Very good poem.
Ray
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2009
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Hello again adp,
A poignant poem with a great picture. The pristine grave markers belie the ugliness and cruelty of the battle that once raged. My dad set foot on French soil in December, 1944. By that time the beaches were secure. His battle ribbons represent the battle for the Ardennes--"The Battle of the Bulge" as it is commonly called. He survived that nightmare and ended up marrying a German woman who had sighted anti-aircraft guns in an effort to protect her shattered homeland. I'm glad the Allies won, but I have sympathy for my mom's plight.
Anyway, just jabbering. Very good poem.
Ray
Comment Written 13-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2009
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The battle of the Bulge - that is supposed to have been horrific. Ray, your mom and many like her suffered too, German or Italian, French or British, they all suffered. Thank you, Brooke
Comment from Kym Jade
God bless all those who serve their country with all their heart and soul.This is a powerful piece of poetry and should be a strong reminder to us all of the horrors of war.
Love and belssings
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2009
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God bless all those who serve their country with all their heart and soul.This is a powerful piece of poetry and should be a strong reminder to us all of the horrors of war.
Love and belssings
Comment Written 13-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2009
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Thank you yet again - you are making my evening :-) Brooke
