The First Snowfall
How a Fairy with Faith caused the First Snowfall89 total reviews
Comment from justmade
Hello Brooke how are you enjoying Christmas?
Mine was fine I hung out with friends and watched a movie.
I love the humor in this poem and the message it sent and how you wrote the story in this poem. I believe we need to learn from this fairy.
Much love,
Justmade.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2008
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Hello Brooke how are you enjoying Christmas?
Mine was fine I hung out with friends and watched a movie.
I love the humor in this poem and the message it sent and how you wrote the story in this poem. I believe we need to learn from this fairy.
Much love,
Justmade.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2008
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I just got home from my daughter's in-laws where we had a lovely Christmas dinner and then played games and watched family videos - glad you also had a chance to be with people you like as Christmas should be shared with others. I'm so glad you liked this poem - thank you,Brooke
Comment from Oatmeal
adewpearl,
The poem made for an enjoyable read. The story line was good. The descriptive words were well chosen.
There was no SPAG to be found but these stanzas did not rhyme. Let me know when you have made the corrections and I will be back with the stars.
Before the Queen of Fairyland she bowed proud, allowed, crowd, vowed
to plead her Royal Lady intercede,
"Your Highness, please do not this fate allow. brow, prow, now, sow
Abandon not your subjects in grave need."
"Felicity, my child, despair no more.
Your woes dispelled with one wave of my wand. blond, blonde, bond, bonde, conned, donned, fond, pond
Where bare and barren landscape lay before,
pure beauty you'll behold both near and yon." fawn, gone, don, dawn
Her sparkling fairy dust chilled by the cold
formed into flakes of six-fold symmetry. asymmetry, dissymmetry
Their crystal whiteness one could not behold
without a sense of marveled mystery. history
Everything else was good.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2008
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adewpearl,
The poem made for an enjoyable read. The story line was good. The descriptive words were well chosen.
There was no SPAG to be found but these stanzas did not rhyme. Let me know when you have made the corrections and I will be back with the stars.
Before the Queen of Fairyland she bowed proud, allowed, crowd, vowed
to plead her Royal Lady intercede,
"Your Highness, please do not this fate allow. brow, prow, now, sow
Abandon not your subjects in grave need."
"Felicity, my child, despair no more.
Your woes dispelled with one wave of my wand. blond, blonde, bond, bonde, conned, donned, fond, pond
Where bare and barren landscape lay before,
pure beauty you'll behold both near and yon." fawn, gone, don, dawn
Her sparkling fairy dust chilled by the cold
formed into flakes of six-fold symmetry. asymmetry, dissymmetry
Their crystal whiteness one could not behold
without a sense of marveled mystery. history
Everything else was good.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2008
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thank you, Brooke
Comment from Mike K2
I enjoyed this poem very much and it is uncommonly written to write a refreshing look of winter. I felt that this is well written and conceived.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2008
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I enjoyed this poem very much and it is uncommonly written to write a refreshing look of winter. I felt that this is well written and conceived.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2008
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Mike, thank you so much, Brooke
Comment from watchtheworldargue
Fantasy is not my favorite area, but this is pretty good. It rolls along and the crystal whiteness/ marveled mystery is probably the best line for imagery. Thanks,
Wayne
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2008
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Fantasy is not my favorite area, but this is pretty good. It rolls along and the crystal whiteness/ marveled mystery is probably the best line for imagery. Thanks,
Wayne
Comment Written 25-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2008
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Wayne, I am glad you enjoyed this despite the fact it is not your usual genre to read. Thanks so much for taking the time to give it a chance, Brooke
Comment from Signaler
adewpearl, Oh my gosh! This is one of the most perfect poems I've seen in so long. Your rhyme and scheme are done so well. I loved the illiteration and all the vivid imagery. Well Done , my friend, well done.
Keep Your Angel on Your Shoulder,
As Always, Signaler
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2008
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adewpearl, Oh my gosh! This is one of the most perfect poems I've seen in so long. Your rhyme and scheme are done so well. I loved the illiteration and all the vivid imagery. Well Done , my friend, well done.
Keep Your Angel on Your Shoulder,
As Always, Signaler
Comment Written 25-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2008
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Thank you so very much - I just finished replying with great restraint to a reviewer who pointed out which lines were not exact rhymes and who offered to rerate after I made corrections - it is lovely to know not everyone on this site thinks words need to be exact rhymes in order to rhyme effectively. You're exactly the breath of fresh air I needed! Thank you so very much for this generous and lovely review, Brooke
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Hi Brooke, You are so very welcome. I can't understand why some reviews are so stern. Poetics by nature are always changing, rhyme, slant rhyme, off rhyme. They all blend together to make the lovely portraits we form in our minds as we read. Poetry is unique to both its creators and its readers. Don't let it get you down.
Angels, Linda
Comment from RadioHead
ADEWPEARL - I loved your poem. It was well written. I could see the barren cold landscape, that is until the Queen of Fairyland tapped her magic wand and made it snow - Ahh! what a sight to behold.
RadioHead
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2008
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ADEWPEARL - I loved your poem. It was well written. I could see the barren cold landscape, that is until the Queen of Fairyland tapped her magic wand and made it snow - Ahh! what a sight to behold.
RadioHead
Comment Written 25-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2008
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Thank you so much for this warm and gracious review!! Brooke
Comment from Hitcher
Loved the visual imagery conjured up friend, very creative indeed. Snow holds its own beauty and magic but if I need to see it I have to travel a good hour, there is no snow falling in Taupo, which suits me just fine, I was born and raised in the North East of England where winter was cruel, long and bloody freezing. I think you have a really great contest poem Brooke, I look forward to writing one myself and you have given me something to aim for. I hope Christmas was a good one for you.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2008
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Loved the visual imagery conjured up friend, very creative indeed. Snow holds its own beauty and magic but if I need to see it I have to travel a good hour, there is no snow falling in Taupo, which suits me just fine, I was born and raised in the North East of England where winter was cruel, long and bloody freezing. I think you have a really great contest poem Brooke, I look forward to writing one myself and you have given me something to aim for. I hope Christmas was a good one for you.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2008
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Christmas was lovely - thank you, spent with family and enjoying a most delicious dinner. I hope you and your wife and girls also had a great Christmas - I no longer like snow as it is inconvenient to walk and drive in and I don't enjoy the cold, but my fairy-loving daughter wanted a winter wonderland fairy poem, so she was my motivation! thanks ever so much, Brooke
Comment from Kane Billings
The winter imagery was well done. I've only been in snow once in my life so I'll have to take your word for it. The stanzas flow well, and your word choice is strong.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2008
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The winter imagery was well done. I've only been in snow once in my life so I'll have to take your word for it. The stanzas flow well, and your word choice is strong.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2008
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Kane, wow, only once - I've been in it more than enough times and could live the rest of my life without it! LOL Thanks so much, Brooke
Comment from Josipher32
We never get any snow here in Houston. In fact, it's 75 degrees here.
I liked this poem. Loved the color scheme and picture choice.
Great use of personification.
Good use of rhymes.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2008
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We never get any snow here in Houston. In fact, it's 75 degrees here.
I liked this poem. Loved the color scheme and picture choice.
Great use of personification.
Good use of rhymes.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2008
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Thanks so much, Brooke
Comment from Falafa
This is about the only way I like snow any more. I spent many a year seeing just this imagery in Minnesota. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed while I grew up there. But, now, I've used up all my cold days and have to live in Florida...tee hee. I loved reading this "story" in a poem. I'm still used to the "white Christmas" syndrome and do like it. Great job, good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2008
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This is about the only way I like snow any more. I spent many a year seeing just this imagery in Minnesota. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed while I grew up there. But, now, I've used up all my cold days and have to live in Florida...tee hee. I loved reading this "story" in a poem. I'm still used to the "white Christmas" syndrome and do like it. Great job, good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2008
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Oh, I've outgrown snow and all its inconveniences too - I'm more than ready to move to the warm! Glad you like the poem.
Thanks, Brooke :-)
