The First Snowfall
How a Fairy with Faith caused the First Snowfall89 total reviews
Comment from Just2Write
Hi Brooke, I liked your story of the fairy that caused the first snowfall. The idea was wonderful. There are a few places (for me, perhaps) that the wording seems too contrived, especially if the poem is intended for young children -
overpow'ring sense of gall
Where bare and barren landscape lay before,
pure beauty you'll behold both near and yon.
Each fern-like flake was peerlessly unique,
with radiating patterns nonpareil,
There is nothing wrong with the words themselves, but they are indeed olde words that are not oft' times spoken.
To help me with my review, I took a look at other ratings, something I normally do not do, and found that this poem garnered a full spectrum of ratings, including some sixers, so I know the poem has the right stuff for some.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2008
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Hi Brooke, I liked your story of the fairy that caused the first snowfall. The idea was wonderful. There are a few places (for me, perhaps) that the wording seems too contrived, especially if the poem is intended for young children -
overpow'ring sense of gall
Where bare and barren landscape lay before,
pure beauty you'll behold both near and yon.
Each fern-like flake was peerlessly unique,
with radiating patterns nonpareil,
There is nothing wrong with the words themselves, but they are indeed olde words that are not oft' times spoken.
To help me with my review, I took a look at other ratings, something I normally do not do, and found that this poem garnered a full spectrum of ratings, including some sixers, so I know the poem has the right stuff for some.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2008
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thank you so much for your thoughtful review even if some of the words were a bit "old" for you, Brooke :-)
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The words were not 'old' for me, dear Brooke. In fact I love old words. I enjoy seeing them used in literature of all kinds. The only reason I pointed these ones out is because I perceived (perhaps wrongly) that this was a poem intended for children. Not that we have to dumb down to reach them, but the simpler, the better as far as holding children's attention.
Comment from TamaraTel
You have a written a wonderful story in this poem. Your rhyme sounded great and was not forced in the least. This could have also been a n entry for the personificaion contest. Good luck.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2008
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You have a written a wonderful story in this poem. Your rhyme sounded great and was not forced in the least. This could have also been a n entry for the personificaion contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2008
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Thanks so much for your kind review, Brooke
Comment from phild
This is beautifully done. Your words provide such vivid imagery. I could feel the cold coming off of the page. "glacial gust" an excellent way to describe the wind.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2008
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This is beautifully done. Your words provide such vivid imagery. I could feel the cold coming off of the page. "glacial gust" an excellent way to describe the wind.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2008
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thanks so very much - your comments are most encouraging, Brooke
Comment from Roisin
This is an absolutely beautiful poem. I'm sorry that I don't have six stars to give but I think it definitely deserves it. Your rhyming scheme, meter and flow is wonderful. I read it a number of times and love how it sounds. Your imagery is brilliant - I would love to be able to write even half as good as you.
Warm regards.
Roisin
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2008
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This is an absolutely beautiful poem. I'm sorry that I don't have six stars to give but I think it definitely deserves it. Your rhyming scheme, meter and flow is wonderful. I read it a number of times and love how it sounds. Your imagery is brilliant - I would love to be able to write even half as good as you.
Warm regards.
Roisin
Comment Written 26-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2008
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What a most generous and lovely response to my story poem - I truly appreciate your kind and encouraging words, Brooke
Comment from raimie
Her sparkling fairy dust chilled by the cold
formed into flakes of six-fold symmetry.
Their crystal whiteness one could not behold
without a sense of marveled mystery
I love it when you write about the fairies! A great job Brooke, as always :)
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2008
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Her sparkling fairy dust chilled by the cold
formed into flakes of six-fold symmetry.
Their crystal whiteness one could not behold
without a sense of marveled mystery
I love it when you write about the fairies! A great job Brooke, as always :)
Comment Written 26-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2008
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Glad you enjoyed this fairy legend! Thanks ever so much, Brooke
Comment from EllieKaye
Hi Brooke,
I'm glad I had a 6 to give this. It is really beautiful. I love the story and the 'otherworldy' feeling it gives.
Very well done. Another of your best.
I hope you had a beautiful Christmas.
LEK
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2008
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Hi Brooke,
I'm glad I had a 6 to give this. It is really beautiful. I love the story and the 'otherworldy' feeling it gives.
Very well done. Another of your best.
I hope you had a beautiful Christmas.
LEK
Comment Written 26-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2008
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LEK, Thanks so much for this most generous rating and your very kind words. Yes, I had a lovely Christmas with my daughter and hope you also had a most wonderful day of celebration. With Appreciation, Brooke
Comment from DrCarter2001
Nicely done, although I was originally expecting an AABB rhyme scheme so it took me a minute to adjust to the ABAB. A very pretty and original little poem. One nit: "Each one" seems a little forced; I might use "All those" instead (the subject-verb agreement still works) since it's a little cleaner and more commonly used.
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2008
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Nicely done, although I was originally expecting an AABB rhyme scheme so it took me a minute to adjust to the ABAB. A very pretty and original little poem. One nit: "Each one" seems a little forced; I might use "All those" instead (the subject-verb agreement still works) since it's a little cleaner and more commonly used.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2008
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Thanks for your input and kind remarks, Brooke :-)
Comment from Diny
Ah dear one again you charm us with your words and tales- fantasy and relm of fairies was indeed a blessing and surprise- Write on as always- Diny
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2008
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Ah dear one again you charm us with your words and tales- fantasy and relm of fairies was indeed a blessing and surprise- Write on as always- Diny
Comment Written 26-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2008
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Diny, thanks ever so much, Brooke
Comment from Adam Smith
Just terrific. What a great little story in a wonderful poem. There's a classic rhyme and meter that lends drama and importance to the words withing. Very nicely done. Very polished piece. Adam :)
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2008
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Just terrific. What a great little story in a wonderful poem. There's a classic rhyme and meter that lends drama and importance to the words withing. Very nicely done. Very polished piece. Adam :)
Comment Written 26-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2008
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Adam, I thank you for your warm response, Brooke
Comment from lovemyta
Excellent poem to read. The flow was beautiful the princess one again against the antagonist. It was a perfect poem in imagery and emotion and the structure was perfect. Wonderful poem.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2008
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Excellent poem to read. The flow was beautiful the princess one again against the antagonist. It was a perfect poem in imagery and emotion and the structure was perfect. Wonderful poem.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2008
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thanks so very much for this thoughtfully positive review, Brooke
