The First Snowfall
How a Fairy with Faith caused the First Snowfall89 total reviews
Comment from writechick
I read the first stanza and automatically was drawn in. Immediately you paint a picture in the reader's mind of where this all takes place and what is going on. As I anxiously read you poem, I grew more and more pleased with it! You have a magical way with words, you really do! The rhyming is superb, you use beautiful descriptions, and something about the second-to-last stanza is incredible. The only tiny little thing I would recommend with this piece is that you use commas a bit more often, like at the end of each line. I found that while I was reading it I got a bit overwhelmed in the writing without having a comma to help me take a little break. The periods and commas you did have however were very helpful. Haha:] But it's not really like you need my advice--you're such a wonderful writer as it is that you probably don't need anyone's advice! LOL!! :]
Well, anyways. I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work:]
Happy New Year!
~~writechick
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2008
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I read the first stanza and automatically was drawn in. Immediately you paint a picture in the reader's mind of where this all takes place and what is going on. As I anxiously read you poem, I grew more and more pleased with it! You have a magical way with words, you really do! The rhyming is superb, you use beautiful descriptions, and something about the second-to-last stanza is incredible. The only tiny little thing I would recommend with this piece is that you use commas a bit more often, like at the end of each line. I found that while I was reading it I got a bit overwhelmed in the writing without having a comma to help me take a little break. The periods and commas you did have however were very helpful. Haha:] But it's not really like you need my advice--you're such a wonderful writer as it is that you probably don't need anyone's advice! LOL!! :]
Well, anyways. I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work:]
Happy New Year!
~~writechick
Comment Written 31-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2008
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thanks so much for reviewing this after it is no longer promoted - I will take a look at the commas! Brooke
Comment from joan marie
I loved this. I love your fairy poetry. I seems to give me a bigger belief in faith and what we can't always touch, but it always there. Great writing. joan marie
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2008
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I loved this. I love your fairy poetry. I seems to give me a bigger belief in faith and what we can't always touch, but it always there. Great writing. joan marie
Comment Written 30-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2008
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joan marie - thank you so much - I hope you had a decent Christmas, considering the pain you've had to endure. I am touched by your words and your generosity, Brooke
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Again to be the downer I couldn't walk Christmas morning. A medicine, I had taken before, went toxic in my brain and I couldn't walk, eat, talk well or see well. So I finally went to ER afwter going from 145 to 132 in 5 days. But the flushed out my system and today I can walk, drive a car, eat and take a bath by myself. Sounds kind of what a little kid would say except about the car. Still I feel a lot better. I hope yours was terrific. jm
Comment from Peter@Poole
I would surely give you six for these eight well-rhymed quatrains, Brooke. I particularly liked the near rhymes of 'wand' and 'yon', and noted so much alliterative music too. As for the story, in which faith in fairy magic was rewarded, it again seems to spring from your own childhood memories and a desire to spread joy to all who preserve a child within. Peter
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2008
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I would surely give you six for these eight well-rhymed quatrains, Brooke. I particularly liked the near rhymes of 'wand' and 'yon', and noted so much alliterative music too. As for the story, in which faith in fairy magic was rewarded, it again seems to spring from your own childhood memories and a desire to spread joy to all who preserve a child within. Peter
Comment Written 30-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2008
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This is one of my favorites - it is what I gave Miranda for Christmas, as well as copying all the other fairy poems, too, into a really nice journal someone gave me a few years ago that always seemed to nice to use. :-) Thank you so very much for your most wonderful comments!! Brooke
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Well, you're worth it!
Comment from Hurricane Dean
There's a lot of great lines throughout this whimsical piece. I guess if I had to pick, I would just choose the entire paragraph:
"Each fern-like flake was peerlessly unique,
with radiating patterns nonpareil,
until they landed on the ground so deep
they formed a dazzling mantle where they fell."
You seem to go a little deeper with this stanza. And, of course, nice use of imagery. Good job, Brooke! Much Love, Dean
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2008
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There's a lot of great lines throughout this whimsical piece. I guess if I had to pick, I would just choose the entire paragraph:
"Each fern-like flake was peerlessly unique,
with radiating patterns nonpareil,
until they landed on the ground so deep
they formed a dazzling mantle where they fell."
You seem to go a little deeper with this stanza. And, of course, nice use of imagery. Good job, Brooke! Much Love, Dean
Comment Written 28-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2008
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Dean, thank you so much - glad you enjoyed my little legend, Brooke
Comment from MercyWrites
What a lovely fairy tale poem. It felt both like reading a poem and a story. Your words choice made the poem come alive. I love that part about father wind began to steer
from sleep. I kept imagine a very old man with long white hair.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2008
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What a lovely fairy tale poem. It felt both like reading a poem and a story. Your words choice made the poem come alive. I love that part about father wind began to steer
from sleep. I kept imagine a very old man with long white hair.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2008
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thank you so much, Brooke
Comment from mstad55
Sometimes out of seemingly nowhere, comes one of those precious little educations of life. I didn't know that Felicity was the Sprite that caused all that was barren and cold to turn to a winter wonderland of icened beauty. I was misguided all these years to think that some scientific force of nature made icicles and snowflakes. I now have the knowledge to tell the news anchors of the world to take there stupid weather maps and doppler machines and shove them, oh wait we want the sun to shine, they'll have to shove them somewhere else. Where was I... never mind. I am just glad that there are people who not only believe in the Fairies of the realm, they know a few.
mstad55
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2008
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Sometimes out of seemingly nowhere, comes one of those precious little educations of life. I didn't know that Felicity was the Sprite that caused all that was barren and cold to turn to a winter wonderland of icened beauty. I was misguided all these years to think that some scientific force of nature made icicles and snowflakes. I now have the knowledge to tell the news anchors of the world to take there stupid weather maps and doppler machines and shove them, oh wait we want the sun to shine, they'll have to shove them somewhere else. Where was I... never mind. I am just glad that there are people who not only believe in the Fairies of the realm, they know a few.
mstad55
Comment Written 26-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2008
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Thank you for your most entertaining review!! I've never had much faith in that Doppler stuff :-) Brooke
Comment from JeffreyStone
Beautifully done, starting with an eye-catching artwork. Your exquisite language provides a picturesque scene of desolation turning to beauty. Each of the seasons has its own merits. By your poetic craftsmanship, you have added luster to winter. Best Regards, JeffrreyStone
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2008
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Beautifully done, starting with an eye-catching artwork. Your exquisite language provides a picturesque scene of desolation turning to beauty. Each of the seasons has its own merits. By your poetic craftsmanship, you have added luster to winter. Best Regards, JeffrreyStone
Comment Written 26-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2008
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Jeffrey, thank you so much for this beautiful response!! Brooke
Comment from Itdoesntmatter
Very nicely done. Thought I was reading a story inside your beautiful words. I found no problems with your works and enjoyed the rhythm.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2008
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Very nicely done. Thought I was reading a story inside your beautiful words. I found no problems with your works and enjoyed the rhythm.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2008
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thank you so much for this thoughtful review, Brooke
Comment from poetry_geek
Wow. This is a very visual poem. You're words paint the picturs very well. Unique and talented. Very good. Please. Continue your work. ;-)
poetry_geek
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2008
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Wow. This is a very visual poem. You're words paint the picturs very well. Unique and talented. Very good. Please. Continue your work. ;-)
poetry_geek
Comment Written 26-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2008
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I'm so glad you were able to visualize this winter wonderland!! Thank you, Brooke
Comment from jack silver
i thought this one had a nice flow to it. and i thought it fitted the contest stuff that it was about and i wish you all the luck i can give you in winning the contest and i look forward to reading more, as well as that i thought what you were talking about fitted in with the picture real well as well.
from
jack
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2008
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i thought this one had a nice flow to it. and i thought it fitted the contest stuff that it was about and i wish you all the luck i can give you in winning the contest and i look forward to reading more, as well as that i thought what you were talking about fitted in with the picture real well as well.
from
jack
Comment Written 26-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2008
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Jack, thank you so much for your most generous and thoughtful response to my story poem!! Brooke
