cinquains
Viewing comments for Chapter 51 "Drifting Snow"cinquain poetry
71 total reviews
Comment from nukrz
Your poetry is very light and full of imagery (other then the picture) I felt the snow, fluffy and white, it was real and living. Very honest.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2009
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Your poetry is very light and full of imagery (other then the picture) I felt the snow, fluffy and white, it was real and living. Very honest.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2009
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This was my first ever cinquain - then I fell in love with the form! Thank you, Brooke
Comment from joan marie
Boy did this bring back memories. It isn't so bad when your a little kid and don't have to drive in the snow and ice covered roads. But it is a wonderful memory of Christmas morning's world covered with new snow. joan marie
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2008
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Boy did this bring back memories. It isn't so bad when your a little kid and don't have to drive in the snow and ice covered roads. But it is a wonderful memory of Christmas morning's world covered with new snow. joan marie
Comment Written 14-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2008
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thanks so much - you're so right - snow is way different if you don't have to go to work in it!! Brooke
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I was in college the first time I drove on a snowy road, at night. I drove about 5 miles an hour. jm
Comment from Mightierthanthesword
Love this! I have missed your poems! This is so suited to the type of poem. Building in pace and length untill the final two syllables totaly turn the mood around.
fabulous.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2008
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Love this! I have missed your poems! This is so suited to the type of poem. Building in pace and length untill the final two syllables totaly turn the mood around.
fabulous.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2008
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Since it is my first cinquain, I tried very hard to do the whole mood drop thing in the end. That made just coming up with a suitable topic hard - I finally submitted with a half hour to go for contest submission deadline!! :-) Thank you, Oli. Brooke
Comment from Firefly54
A very intersting little poem, and well written. This is going to be another hard contest to vote for... Good luck to you, and well done!
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2008
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A very intersting little poem, and well written. This is going to be another hard contest to vote for... Good luck to you, and well done!
Comment Written 13-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2008
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thanks so much - I worked on this, my first cinquain, to make sure it followed not just the syllables but the downturn in the final line - I'm glad you think it all worked out. Brooke
Comment from Susan E. Pennycuff
snow is something I miss since moving to the south
they got snow about an hour from here yesterday and it was all the buzz... I was sooooo jealous and contemplated taking an hour drive just to see it (yes it has been that long since I have seen snow!) but I held my urges off... lmbo great write, although it only makes me want to see snow that much more!
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2008
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snow is something I miss since moving to the south
they got snow about an hour from here yesterday and it was all the buzz... I was sooooo jealous and contemplated taking an hour drive just to see it (yes it has been that long since I have seen snow!) but I held my urges off... lmbo great write, although it only makes me want to see snow that much more!
Comment Written 13-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2008
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Oh, I would not miss it, I promise, if I could escape it :-)
Thank you! Brooke
Comment from benjan
Did you have to remind me of the 101 inches we had here in Wisconsin last winter? The Farmer's Almanac says we're getting 140 this year, but I refuse to believe that even though I've had to put the snow shovel to hard use already. A nice cinquain, Brooke. I'm a little bothered by the comma after snow, but I can read it both ways. My personal preference would have been without. There are at least two ways to write cinquains. This is more traditional with a nice flow that a more modern-style cinquain wouldn't have. Your word choice creates a soft mood which is carried throughout the poem with the drop at the end layering the mood with a darker essence. Nice.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2008
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Did you have to remind me of the 101 inches we had here in Wisconsin last winter? The Farmer's Almanac says we're getting 140 this year, but I refuse to believe that even though I've had to put the snow shovel to hard use already. A nice cinquain, Brooke. I'm a little bothered by the comma after snow, but I can read it both ways. My personal preference would have been without. There are at least two ways to write cinquains. This is more traditional with a nice flow that a more modern-style cinquain wouldn't have. Your word choice creates a soft mood which is carried throughout the poem with the drop at the end layering the mood with a darker essence. Nice.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2008
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I'll have to reread the darn thing to remember why I put a comma where it is! :-) Thank you for noticing the form I used as it is my first cinquain and I strove to make it traditional. Brooke
Comment from Oatmeal
adewpearl,
This was very well written. Very reflective, all thoughts are very well described, understandable and comprehensible.
I saw no SPAG and no typos. Everything looked in place.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2008
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adewpearl,
This was very well written. Very reflective, all thoughts are very well described, understandable and comprehensible.
I saw no SPAG and no typos. Everything looked in place.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 12-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2008
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Oatmeal, I am so glad you enjoyed my very first acrostic - thank you!! Brooke
Comment from RapturedHeart
Wow, Brooke, this is so beautiful! Excellent metaphor, too - you can only get so much of a good thing. Snow really does cause us to change perspectives, though, doesn't it? It covers everything in glowing wonder and softens the edges - but even that can become weighty when it's piled on too high. Just excellent - all the best in the contest,
Heather
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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Wow, Brooke, this is so beautiful! Excellent metaphor, too - you can only get so much of a good thing. Snow really does cause us to change perspectives, though, doesn't it? It covers everything in glowing wonder and softens the edges - but even that can become weighty when it's piled on too high. Just excellent - all the best in the contest,
Heather
Comment Written 12-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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Your comments are most true and perceptive!! thank you, Brooke
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Adewpearl ...
By the look of things, you certainly have a generous helping of snow during the Winter months and this is confirmed in your nineteen words, cleverly written in
Cinquain format.
There is nothing to suggest changing and I wish you well in the Contest.
With love from ..... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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Hullo Adewpearl ...
By the look of things, you certainly have a generous helping of snow during the Winter months and this is confirmed in your nineteen words, cleverly written in
Cinquain format.
There is nothing to suggest changing and I wish you well in the Contest.
With love from ..... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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Nanette Mary, thank you for your most encouraging and supportive review of this, my first and only cinquain! Brooke
Comment from EllieKaye
I love the 'obscure my view' line...
Lovely poem!
I admit that although Florida's overproduction of sunlight (sunshine does originate in Florida, right?) can be wonderful, I do often miss the cloudy rainy days of Washington. I do not however, miss the snow. We rarely got any, but when we were hit hard, life shut down.
Happy day to you, Brooke.
LEK
:)
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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I love the 'obscure my view' line...
Lovely poem!
I admit that although Florida's overproduction of sunlight (sunshine does originate in Florida, right?) can be wonderful, I do often miss the cloudy rainy days of Washington. I do not however, miss the snow. We rarely got any, but when we were hit hard, life shut down.
Happy day to you, Brooke.
LEK
:)
Comment Written 12-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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My son and his wife attended college in the snow belt in upstate New York and moved to FL a week after graduation!!! I hate the snow, too. That's why I chose it as a theme for a poem that has a down turn. LOL Thanks so much, Brooke
