My Book of Favored Sonnets
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Suppressive Need"My collection of various sonnets.
25 total reviews
Comment from Gramma Kathy
This is sad and lovely, and I love the artwork you chose to complement your fine poetry. The colour choices are perfect, too, with the black of despair offset by the purple of abiding love.
Spenserian Sonnet is another new form for poetry to me. I really appreciate learning about the art, and you have given a wonderful example.
Thank you, and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
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This is sad and lovely, and I love the artwork you chose to complement your fine poetry. The colour choices are perfect, too, with the black of despair offset by the purple of abiding love.
Spenserian Sonnet is another new form for poetry to me. I really appreciate learning about the art, and you have given a wonderful example.
Thank you, and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
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Thank you, I truly appreciate your very detailed review.
Comment from Always Hope
Hmm, Dawn of Tomorrow. Was your name ever Valley Girl? It's been some time since I've been on Fanstory, and your picture looks familiar, and your writing is similar as well. If not, my apologies.
Anyway, beautifully written poem. The only thing I suggest is changing this line - although he?s fled, forever he?ll abide. Although he's fled, he'll forever abide.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
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Hmm, Dawn of Tomorrow. Was your name ever Valley Girl? It's been some time since I've been on Fanstory, and your picture looks familiar, and your writing is similar as well. If not, my apologies.
Anyway, beautifully written poem. The only thing I suggest is changing this line - although he?s fled, forever he?ll abide. Although he's fled, he'll forever abide.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
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Well hey there, yes I'm Valleygurl, good to see you. Hope all is well with you. Your suggestion on that line is out of meter but I do thank you for taking a look and for remembering.
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I knew it! No one can pull off romance poetry like yourself. And hey, you taught me meter. *wink* I just switched words around. Neener, neener. LOL!
I will never forget "You first" when it came time to submit our erotic poetry. Fun times, indeed! Talk about daring, eh? Man, I had such a disgusting mouth.
I'm back to submit my miracle stories. Hopefully, I'll get them published. Wish me luck! It's great to see you're still here and have grown so much! Congrats on getting published! : )
Dana
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Daring, yes, I still on ocassion will write something erotic but not near what they once were. I wish you the best of luck and will add you to my fan list so I can catch them. Great to see an old familiar face. Hugs, Jo Lynn
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
This is a great piece of verse,
cleverly thought out, with a
smooth flow to the words and
to both rhythm and rhyme.
Complemented with an amazing
piece of art - very colourful.
A pleasure to review,
Good luck with the contest,
Margaret.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
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This is a great piece of verse,
cleverly thought out, with a
smooth flow to the words and
to both rhythm and rhyme.
Complemented with an amazing
piece of art - very colourful.
A pleasure to review,
Good luck with the contest,
Margaret.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
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Thank you very much Margaret, appreciate you taking the time to read and review.
Comment from Judian James
This is lovely JL. What would poets do without unrequited love to write about?? Your rhyming, meter, versing and couplet are all superb. well done
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
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This is lovely JL. What would poets do without unrequited love to write about?? Your rhyming, meter, versing and couplet are all superb. well done
Comment Written 06-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
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Thank you, Jude. I'm so behind reviewing, got to get my rear in gear sometime today. Love ya, JL
Comment from Moira's Amethyst
Yep, definitly worthy of a sixer. I read this one twice and loved it even more the second time around. So much emotion, so much gut instinct...so much beauty and longing. I can't say in words how much I enjoyed it. It is an exceptional entry!
Poetry's Protege
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
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Yep, definitly worthy of a sixer. I read this one twice and loved it even more the second time around. So much emotion, so much gut instinct...so much beauty and longing. I can't say in words how much I enjoyed it. It is an exceptional entry!
Poetry's Protege
Comment Written 06-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
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Thank you, I was hoping it would meet with your approval. I'm thrilled to know it did to that extent. Thank you again for creating the contest.
Comment from Moe Dylan
It is a well written poem with a deep, emotional center. It gives a sense of the human heart and soul, not to mention the simple human touch. It was written with passion and yearning. Nice job.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
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It is a well written poem with a deep, emotional center. It gives a sense of the human heart and soul, not to mention the simple human touch. It was written with passion and yearning. Nice job.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
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Thank you, I truly appreciate the time you took to read and review.
Comment from Kingsland
these strict poetic formats are not all that easy to do, as I won't even attempt one. I am too free flowing with my thoughts.But you have done well with this piece.This was just a delight to have read and reviewed it... John
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
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these strict poetic formats are not all that easy to do, as I won't even attempt one. I am too free flowing with my thoughts.But you have done well with this piece.This was just a delight to have read and reviewed it... John
Comment Written 06-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
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Thank you, John so appreciate your time to read and review. You are right they can be a challenge, not for the free of heart. :)
Comment from Eternal Muse
A brilliant work, flawlessly delivered, and yes, I do love your lowercase enjambment. I know the challenge of those, although myself I am often indifferent to those - [lowercase enjambment, I mean]. You took the theme of unrequited love and turned it into a timeless Spenserian Sonnet. Your pentameter is spot on, there are certain archaic notes to this piece, though the picture looks like quite modern Christmas wrapping paper! Was is that, or are my eyes failing me? As a lover of a sonnet structure and a pentameter, I have to say, you delivered a treat.
My favorite lines:
I can't forgo devotion locked inside,
although he's fled, forever he'll abide.
Perfect. My heart and soul are appeased by this write.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
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A brilliant work, flawlessly delivered, and yes, I do love your lowercase enjambment. I know the challenge of those, although myself I am often indifferent to those - [lowercase enjambment, I mean]. You took the theme of unrequited love and turned it into a timeless Spenserian Sonnet. Your pentameter is spot on, there are certain archaic notes to this piece, though the picture looks like quite modern Christmas wrapping paper! Was is that, or are my eyes failing me? As a lover of a sonnet structure and a pentameter, I have to say, you delivered a treat.
My favorite lines:
I can't forgo devotion locked inside,
although he's fled, forever he'll abide.
Perfect. My heart and soul are appeased by this write.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
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It's so funny how people can view artwork differently. I actually see so much expression in that piece, but the first thing I saw was broken, then desires, burning wants, I see all that thus is why I chose it. Thank you for your very kind review. I think your piece for this contest is quite lovely as well, a worthy opponent for sure. Not many entries so will be interesting to see how many will actually take the time to vote on it. Thanks again, dear, really appreciate your time.
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Oh Dawn, your pentameter is better than mine in this sonnet. I am going to bookmark it now - thank YOU, I loved it!!! So few can deliver a flawless English Sonnet, but there certain magic about precision in this structure that I find magnetic!
Comment from jgrace
Very well done. Enjoyed reading your sonnet. Thanks so much for choosing my artwork to accompany your work. I'm honored.
Jgrace
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
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Very well done. Enjoyed reading your sonnet. Thanks so much for choosing my artwork to accompany your work. I'm honored.
Jgrace
Comment Written 06-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
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I thank you for offering it to us for use. Your arwork is extremely expressive, so much I see in that piece. Thank you for having taken the time to read and leave your thoughts.
Comment from adewpearl
Well, dear, you appear to have conquered yet another form - I checked your explanation of the rules against what you have written, and by gosh, you've done it! LOL The sonnet is quite lovely in expressing unrequited love also - you sure had to adhere to lots of requirements for this one - they should hand out FanStory ballpoint pens or something to contestants who even try some of these more difficult contests. ;-)
You are also a master/mistress of the use of language that makes your sonnet sound as if penned centuries ago - from one whose likened essence did possess the tenderness to trap a yearning need - lovely lovely writing, but I expect nothing less from you!
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
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Well, dear, you appear to have conquered yet another form - I checked your explanation of the rules against what you have written, and by gosh, you've done it! LOL The sonnet is quite lovely in expressing unrequited love also - you sure had to adhere to lots of requirements for this one - they should hand out FanStory ballpoint pens or something to contestants who even try some of these more difficult contests. ;-)
You are also a master/mistress of the use of language that makes your sonnet sound as if penned centuries ago - from one whose likened essence did possess the tenderness to trap a yearning need - lovely lovely writing, but I expect nothing less from you!
Comment Written 06-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2008
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The sonnet is my first poetic love and forever shall be I suppose in any form. There's such a beauty within them that is eternal. Thank you for seeing that as well. Now sometime today I must get into reviewing, been lax in that arena last couple of days. Hope you are well, see you've been busy while I was being lazy. LOL
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I had noticed your absence to the point of going to your portfolio yesterday to see if you'd posted something I had missed! When I saw my private message this morning that you had new writing, I was so happy and immediately hit the link.
This is because you truly are one of the most gifted poets on this site.
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You are too kind, my friend. I am truly humbled by your words. Getting my hair done this morning but will try to get caught up with your work later today. I see you've been busy in A-Z land.
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ah, I see how it is - your hair comes before my work!!! LOL I will know when you review me later that my reviews are coming from a foxy lady. ;-)
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You got that right, getting the eyebrows waxed and everything, LOL
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wait a minute - I was willing to put up with your putting your hair before my art - but your eyebrows????? You care more about eyebrows than my poetic thoughts?
I am hurt, deeply hurt, to the core.... LOL
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LOL, okay, okay, you win, I'll go review one in my just got up, don't even look in the mirror LOOK, LOL
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Hey, I'm still in my oversized knit nightie with a big old cardigan over it - I've composed greatness in this get-up!!! LOL
