Maybe Luck is Primary
There are Similarities in Successful Marriages35 total reviews
Comment from Vladilynn
mmmm...ahhh...perspective to make marriage well!?? interesting, i think i know what you're saying!?
it includes also if both wants to work out the marriage...geeessshh! I keep mispelling the word marriage! LOLL
it seems don't exist to me! LOLL
ahhhh..just a joke~ LOLL
ahhh. yes! I think this is true if both follow the rules nd not only one! I think?
yah! that's the question neh? why marriages fails??
gessshh! this last minute contest drives me nuts! LOL
thank you for sharing
and good luck!
Lynn ( > _________ ^ )}}
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2008
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mmmm...ahhh...perspective to make marriage well!?? interesting, i think i know what you're saying!?
it includes also if both wants to work out the marriage...geeessshh! I keep mispelling the word marriage! LOLL
it seems don't exist to me! LOLL
ahhhh..just a joke~ LOLL
ahhh. yes! I think this is true if both follow the rules nd not only one! I think?
yah! that's the question neh? why marriages fails??
gessshh! this last minute contest drives me nuts! LOL
thank you for sharing
and good luck!
Lynn ( > _________ ^ )}}
Comment Written 02-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2008
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Last minute contests drive me crazy too! I'll never, ever --well, maybe not-- enter another one that requires my brain to do 60 in a quarter mile. Some reviewers have said I lost my focus in the essay and did not answer the question: Why Marriages Fail? My goal was to point out that marriages fail because they are not good marriages. To list the thousand individual reasons why didn't appeal to me. Oh well. It was fun. Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a comment. ann
it surprised me more cause you've written a very good essay for a short notice! LOL I can only offer a poem!
ohhh...well good luck! at least we've fun writing it!!
cheers!!
Comment from nora arjuna
Marriages skid and lose their glue from a myriad of sources[,] from illness to unrecognized sexual orientation to a change in expectations and everything in-between.
-thought you need a pause there or somewhere, or maybe a dash
Communication is essential. - totally agree
A blessing shared is multiplied, while a sorrow shared is diminished. - hmm, another great phrase.
Whatever you decide, it always works Ann. Another great entry!
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2008
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Marriages skid and lose their glue from a myriad of sources[,] from illness to unrecognized sexual orientation to a change in expectations and everything in-between.
-thought you need a pause there or somewhere, or maybe a dash
Communication is essential. - totally agree
A blessing shared is multiplied, while a sorrow shared is diminished. - hmm, another great phrase.
Whatever you decide, it always works Ann. Another great entry!
Comment Written 02-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2008
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Thanks so much. Some reviewers have said I lost my focus in this essay. I think I'll avoid the timed contests in the future! My answer to the Why Marriages Fail question is: Because they are not good marriages. Of course, on the other hand, I've gotten a couple of sixes. So who knows. I appreciate the good luck wishes. I'll need them. ann
Comment from Nicky B
Probably what you offer up here is how a marriage should work. That is just as valid and very valuable to people, who have suffered a bad divorce. Gives one hope and a road map back to themselves and hopefully to a partner that should compliment them in love. God bless. Nick.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2008
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Probably what you offer up here is how a marriage should work. That is just as valid and very valuable to people, who have suffered a bad divorce. Gives one hope and a road map back to themselves and hopefully to a partner that should compliment them in love. God bless. Nick.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2008
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Thanks so much. Writing under pressure is not my forte! I will never, ever --well maybe not-- enter one of those contests where I have only a few hours to produce something! ann
Comment from wierdgrace
many opinions in this contest,and so many characters talking and trying to say rather they can stay or should stay, the old fashion way of real love, and commentment without violence is nice.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2008
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many opinions in this contest,and so many characters talking and trying to say rather they can stay or should stay, the old fashion way of real love, and commentment without violence is nice.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2008
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Thanks. You are right. Commitment is a requirement. ann
Comment from WordPainter
I didn't see any spag. It was a very quick contest, wasn't it. Excellent job for such a short time to write it. Interesting to read various ideas on this subject.
Best wishes for the contest!
Lois
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2008
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I didn't see any spag. It was a very quick contest, wasn't it. Excellent job for such a short time to write it. Interesting to read various ideas on this subject.
Best wishes for the contest!
Lois
Comment Written 02-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2008
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I need those good luck wishes! I will never, ever --well maybe not-- enter one of those quick contests again. Not sure my brain still has that quick excellation needed. It's okay on the long drive, but not 60 in a quarter of mile anymore!. lol. Appreciate your stopping by. ann
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Hehe, I understand. Unless you have something written already that would be just right for the contest, it could be nerve racking to try to get it done!
Lois
Comment from Journey woman
Enjoyed the essay. It read easily and expressed your perspective on luck. You stated valid points which contribute or help to break down a relationship.
Happy that you have found 2 soul mates.
Best of luck.:)
Journey Woman
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2008
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Enjoyed the essay. It read easily and expressed your perspective on luck. You stated valid points which contribute or help to break down a relationship.
Happy that you have found 2 soul mates.
Best of luck.:)
Journey Woman
Comment Written 02-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2008
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Thanks so much. I'm not that great at these timed contest and probably should avoid them. I'm not sure my point, i.e. Marriages fail simply because they are not good marriages, got through. Appreciate your stopping by. ann
Comment from fayesh
I thought that you wrote a nice essay, but it was more about "The Elements of a Good Marriage", especially toward the end. You touched upon the possible reasons for a failed marriage, but did not follow through. You then turned it around to "What Makes a Happy Marriage." I think you lost your focus. Then, at the end, including the Holy Spirit discriminates against those people who do not believe as you do. You should try to remain impartial, omit specific religious orientations and just mention a all-encompassing Higher Power or a spiritual aspect or lack of.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2008
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I thought that you wrote a nice essay, but it was more about "The Elements of a Good Marriage", especially toward the end. You touched upon the possible reasons for a failed marriage, but did not follow through. You then turned it around to "What Makes a Happy Marriage." I think you lost your focus. Then, at the end, including the Holy Spirit discriminates against those people who do not believe as you do. You should try to remain impartial, omit specific religious orientations and just mention a all-encompassing Higher Power or a spiritual aspect or lack of.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2008
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Thanks. Apparently I should avoid these times contests! I don't think my brain does the 60 in a quarter mile as well as it used to. My point was --and the answer to the question Why Marriages Fail-- Marriages fail because they are not good marriages. It's impossible, or at the least would take a book, to list half of the individual reasons why.
Appreciate your stopping by. ann
Comment from AnnsHoney
I think this is profound and well said, I hope you win the contest, I would have given you seven star if it were allowed, RLM
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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I think this is profound and well said, I hope you win the contest, I would have given you seven star if it were allowed, RLM
Comment Written 01-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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You are too good to me! Thanks so much. ann
Comment from hvysmker
A blessing shared is multiplied, while a sorrow shared is dimished.
*** Aha! Knew I could find something to comment on. diminished.
As a lifelong bachelor, I can't go by experience but I, like you, have seen many marriages fail among relatives, neighbors, and friends. Some of the reasons are:
Lust. Once the bloom leaves the rose, it soon wilts.
Not knowing enough about your mate. Remember the old style marriages? High school sweethearts go out on endless dates where he stays zipped and she keeps her legs crossed. They're both on their best behavior. Then a little touchy-feelie. Finally, marriage. Then, only then, do they see those little hidden foibles. She finds out how much trouble his mama had in getting him up for work or school. He finds out she's waiting for them to afford a maid before cleaning the house. He spends the afternoons drinking beer with his feet up. She farts in bed. They don't share the same tastes in television and movies. Etc.
The "Clinton Effect," where one or both collect those hidden trophies. Sometimes the trophies make drunken phone calls in the middle of the night, or show up to meet the spouse, bringing along a hidden but growing minor-trophy.
The old model degrades with age and the newer models begin seeming attractive. One or either of the lovers gain weight. Figuring that since they've caught their mate, why bother keeping in shape. That they can relax, be themselves, and he/she just has to adjust. That might be okay in itself, but can exacerbate any or all of the other problems. And it creeps up, or can be explosive. I remember one co-worker, a yummy Chinese girl. Lovely shape. Until she married. Within three or four months, I couldn't deliberately pass through doorways simultaneously with her, as I loved to do before. She took up the entire doorway by herself.
Laziness and/or bad luck. For some reason or other, they get in debt. Maybe too many kids or that once attractive job turns out to be a dead-end. Maybe people buy cars and the old buggy whip company goes out of business. Whatever, they decide to split.
There are all sorts of reasons, Ann but, in this missive you're giving advice, not explanations. The contest asks for:
"What causes a relationship to go belly up?
Is it doomed from the beginning because of Wrong Partners?
Destroyed by Broken Vows?
Killed by Changes?"
I don't think you answered those questions.
Charlie
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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A blessing shared is multiplied, while a sorrow shared is dimished.
*** Aha! Knew I could find something to comment on. diminished.
As a lifelong bachelor, I can't go by experience but I, like you, have seen many marriages fail among relatives, neighbors, and friends. Some of the reasons are:
Lust. Once the bloom leaves the rose, it soon wilts.
Not knowing enough about your mate. Remember the old style marriages? High school sweethearts go out on endless dates where he stays zipped and she keeps her legs crossed. They're both on their best behavior. Then a little touchy-feelie. Finally, marriage. Then, only then, do they see those little hidden foibles. She finds out how much trouble his mama had in getting him up for work or school. He finds out she's waiting for them to afford a maid before cleaning the house. He spends the afternoons drinking beer with his feet up. She farts in bed. They don't share the same tastes in television and movies. Etc.
The "Clinton Effect," where one or both collect those hidden trophies. Sometimes the trophies make drunken phone calls in the middle of the night, or show up to meet the spouse, bringing along a hidden but growing minor-trophy.
The old model degrades with age and the newer models begin seeming attractive. One or either of the lovers gain weight. Figuring that since they've caught their mate, why bother keeping in shape. That they can relax, be themselves, and he/she just has to adjust. That might be okay in itself, but can exacerbate any or all of the other problems. And it creeps up, or can be explosive. I remember one co-worker, a yummy Chinese girl. Lovely shape. Until she married. Within three or four months, I couldn't deliberately pass through doorways simultaneously with her, as I loved to do before. She took up the entire doorway by herself.
Laziness and/or bad luck. For some reason or other, they get in debt. Maybe too many kids or that once attractive job turns out to be a dead-end. Maybe people buy cars and the old buggy whip company goes out of business. Whatever, they decide to split.
There are all sorts of reasons, Ann but, in this missive you're giving advice, not explanations. The contest asks for:
"What causes a relationship to go belly up?
Is it doomed from the beginning because of Wrong Partners?
Destroyed by Broken Vows?
Killed by Changes?"
I don't think you answered those questions.
Charlie
Comment Written 01-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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I think I did! The relationship goes belly up because the partners didn't laugh enough, they didn't meet the other on the the other's doorstep, they found the wrong partners because they didn't follow their built-in intuition. They broke their vows because of a lack of respect. The changes were not expected because they weren't honest with either other, had no respect for the other's needs. So there!! lol.
thanks, so much, Charlie. I love your reviews. They always make me think and re-think what I've written. ann
Comment from Helen Tan
I just had a peek at the contest rules and I have just found out that I have about 3 hours left to type out this review if it is going to be of any use at all to you.
So, let's hit it with my usual point style review!
I had a cursory glance at the essay before reading, please pay attention to the length of some of the longer paragraphs - encapsulate a main theme within each paragraph. Don't make the paragraphs too long as this may distract the reader's focus and thus the focus on your vital points.
I've lucked out in lifetime partners - I like the personal touch in this choice of words, it makes it "you".
"Then he died. ( new paragraph )Three and a-half years ago,"- may I suggest that you split the paragraph into two here as you are referring to two different partners, give them their due respect in the form of a separate paragraph. You had me for a moment, I thought he died and then he's walking in the park..maybe it's time for me to get another cup of coffee!
happiness can only be self-inflicted - I may not sure on this usage of self inflicted as usually it is associated with pain and problems. I don't recall it being used with happiness, I can't think of a good alternative, maybe self obtained, self generated? this is just a thought.
person and/or persons - I think you can just leave it at person without the "and/or persons", it's awkward. In addition by leaving it in, are you suggesting multiple partners at a go?
Good luck in the contest - do look at the long paragraphs.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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I just had a peek at the contest rules and I have just found out that I have about 3 hours left to type out this review if it is going to be of any use at all to you.
So, let's hit it with my usual point style review!
I had a cursory glance at the essay before reading, please pay attention to the length of some of the longer paragraphs - encapsulate a main theme within each paragraph. Don't make the paragraphs too long as this may distract the reader's focus and thus the focus on your vital points.
I've lucked out in lifetime partners - I like the personal touch in this choice of words, it makes it "you".
"Then he died. ( new paragraph )Three and a-half years ago,"- may I suggest that you split the paragraph into two here as you are referring to two different partners, give them their due respect in the form of a separate paragraph. You had me for a moment, I thought he died and then he's walking in the park..maybe it's time for me to get another cup of coffee!
happiness can only be self-inflicted - I may not sure on this usage of self inflicted as usually it is associated with pain and problems. I don't recall it being used with happiness, I can't think of a good alternative, maybe self obtained, self generated? this is just a thought.
person and/or persons - I think you can just leave it at person without the "and/or persons", it's awkward. In addition by leaving it in, are you suggesting multiple partners at a go?
Good luck in the contest - do look at the long paragraphs.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2008
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I'll take a look at those paragraph lengths. It is usually something I watch more closely, but the time crunch caught me ont his on. I use the the 'happiness is self-inflicted' because it is the title to an essay I've written and posted here on fanstory. However, most people are like you -- never, ever heard of it. Probably I should re-consider and I agree ont he person/persons. It is awkward. Thanks so much. ann
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Apologies I did a rush job on the review too so i took the short cut around your long paragraphs.
Good luck! Seriously I don't have the drive like some of you guys where the contest are concerned, I really admire all of you for being so on the ball!
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I won't do this enter, write and submit thing ever again for contest! I don't feel confident about my work when I haven't read and re-read it a dozen times. It was fun for once. I did cut those paragraphs down at your suggestion. You are right! Thanks and now I hope it does work in the contest! ann
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It's good to really get the adrenaline pumping once in a while - you go girl!
I'll have a look through again. Get some rest , you'll need it, the next contest I guess awaits you around the corner.
:)
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I had a quick glance, It looks so much more pleasing to the eyes and I am sure that Randall appreciates his own paragraph. On his behalf, thank you.
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You're funny! Thanks. ann
