A Medley of Memories
Holiday Memories Come in All Sizes and Shapes35 total reviews
Comment from Winslow
Dear Ann,
These are very heart warming stories well told but to me letting them stand alone would have been better. I liked the story of the Christmas tree best, since it is a fantastic but also heart wrenching memory.
Too me, at times, you use to many words and tell rather than show. Also repetition of a word like laugh detracts.
One obvious SPAG I picked out
Daddy not only did not go to work that Christmas, he surprised us {with} [on]Christmas morning [with} fruit....
The strength in your writing is it is done from the heart.
Warm regards,
Winslow
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Dear Ann,
These are very heart warming stories well told but to me letting them stand alone would have been better. I liked the story of the Christmas tree best, since it is a fantastic but also heart wrenching memory.
Too me, at times, you use to many words and tell rather than show. Also repetition of a word like laugh detracts.
One obvious SPAG I picked out
Daddy not only did not go to work that Christmas, he surprised us {with} [on]Christmas morning [with} fruit....
The strength in your writing is it is done from the heart.
Warm regards,
Winslow
Comment Written 30-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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I'll correct that spag issue right now. I thought of doing stand alone stories, but these three seemed so related to me that I wanted the connection to come through. Thanks for the generous rating. ann
Comment from Jnetgame
This is a great entry for the Holiday contest. I especially liked your first memory Lines such as:
"I was trying hard to keep my grief carefully clothed in impatience. " are so well-written. Good luck.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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This is a great entry for the Holiday contest. I especially liked your first memory Lines such as:
"I was trying hard to keep my grief carefully clothed in impatience. " are so well-written. Good luck.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Thank so much. I enjoyed writing this essay and I'm so pleased you enjoyed reading it. I appreciate your time and good luck wishes. ann
Comment from debskatz
Hi ann,
All three were beautiful stories! But my favorite was the first one. The situation seemed so desperate, no way was it going to be a good Christmas. But a miracle happened through an imperfect tree. Wow! A very touching story.
Thanks for sharing all of them with us!
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Hi ann,
All three were beautiful stories! But my favorite was the first one. The situation seemed so desperate, no way was it going to be a good Christmas. But a miracle happened through an imperfect tree. Wow! A very touching story.
Thanks for sharing all of them with us!
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 30-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Thanks so very much! I'm so glad you stopped by and took the time to share a comment. ann
Comment from Gramma Kathy
Beautiful! Thank you for sharing your memories in this touching article.
You have opened a door through which we can peek at your family and your life. Your descriptions are clear, and your story is easy to read, drawing me into each scene.
I especially like this:
"Together, we stood the tree, shook it firmly and could not believe our eyes. One side was totally bald, not one needle remained and even the limbs were scraped free of bark. We each stood there speechless for several seconds, and then we began to laugh and laugh and laugh. We laughed so hard that the tree hit the ground, tears ran down our faces and the whole world seemed brighter. It was the first time we had really laughed a from-the-heart, "it's-just-so-funny-I-can't-stand-it" laugh since Mama died."
So touching and lovely. Well done!
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Beautiful! Thank you for sharing your memories in this touching article.
You have opened a door through which we can peek at your family and your life. Your descriptions are clear, and your story is easy to read, drawing me into each scene.
I especially like this:
"Together, we stood the tree, shook it firmly and could not believe our eyes. One side was totally bald, not one needle remained and even the limbs were scraped free of bark. We each stood there speechless for several seconds, and then we began to laugh and laugh and laugh. We laughed so hard that the tree hit the ground, tears ran down our faces and the whole world seemed brighter. It was the first time we had really laughed a from-the-heart, "it's-just-so-funny-I-can't-stand-it" laugh since Mama died."
So touching and lovely. Well done!
Comment Written 30-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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thank you very much. I appreciate your encouragement and your time in sharing it. ann
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
You have shared some really special memory's with your readers which I am sure will be remembered for years to come by so many well done regards Fuller
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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You have shared some really special memory's with your readers which I am sure will be remembered for years to come by so many well done regards Fuller
Comment Written 30-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Thanks for reading and commenting. ann
Comment from mamaboots
Hello Ann,
Very well done! This was a great essay and your emotions show throughout. I enjoyed this and wish you luck in the contest. I noted one small nit (below). Other than that, I have no suggestions for you. Thank you for sharing and have a wonderful day, mamaboots
paired down = should be pared (as in whittled)
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Hello Ann,
Very well done! This was a great essay and your emotions show throughout. I enjoyed this and wish you luck in the contest. I noted one small nit (below). Other than that, I have no suggestions for you. Thank you for sharing and have a wonderful day, mamaboots
paired down = should be pared (as in whittled)
Comment Written 30-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Of course!!!! I hate it when I miss the obvious. I posted last night about midnight-- knew I should have waited until I'd read it again. Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting. ann
Comment from LadyMary
This is such a wonderful medley of holiday spirit. The remembrances and current events are treasures. I really found myself caught up in each of the three stories. The descriptive detail heightens one's interest. So well done. One gentle suggestion: Next to last paragraph, "but the plane on which", I believe if you are referring to "space" or "place", that you want to use "plain." No offense intended, just the old secretary in me. The writing is wonderful. LadyMary
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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This is such a wonderful medley of holiday spirit. The remembrances and current events are treasures. I really found myself caught up in each of the three stories. The descriptive detail heightens one's interest. So well done. One gentle suggestion: Next to last paragraph, "but the plane on which", I believe if you are referring to "space" or "place", that you want to use "plain." No offense intended, just the old secretary in me. The writing is wonderful. LadyMary
Comment Written 30-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Thank so much! I intend the use of plane as defined: a level of development, achievement or existence. Am I using it incorrectly there? I appreciate your dropping by. ann
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I stand corrected. You are absolutely right. It was in my interpretation that I erred. Just like a piece of fine sculpture, individual interpretation can vary. My apology. Mary
Comment from Artasylum
this was a wonderful read about what the holiday season is and i always hope for it to be...about friends family and all loved ones...yours, diana
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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this was a wonderful read about what the holiday season is and i always hope for it to be...about friends family and all loved ones...yours, diana
Comment Written 30-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Thank you! I'm so pleased you stopped by and left a comment. ann
Comment from AlvinTEthington
I have read this seven times. It is extremely poignant, especially in the ways the children parent each other. I thought I had seen some syntactical errors, but they must have been fixed between readings. For children over 8 or so, I think this would be a wonderful story to teach them how to deal with grief.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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I have read this seven times. It is extremely poignant, especially in the ways the children parent each other. I thought I had seen some syntactical errors, but they must have been fixed between readings. For children over 8 or so, I think this would be a wonderful story to teach them how to deal with grief.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Thank you. I so appreciate your generous review and your suggestion. ann
Comment from EllieKaye
Hi Ann-
When I find one of those 'messages' waiting in my FS inbox, telling me of another one of your postings, I can't wait to read. I have clipped several of the reasons why I love your writing, but the best reason is the connection I feel to you. You write so that readers feel they know you, (at least I do.) It is always highly enjoyable to read your words.
The sarcasm dripped from my words. (nice)
Crying served no purpose as far as I could see, and besides, Mama had asked us not to. She had asked us to always remember that her death meant she was painfree, breathed easy and watched us from afar. Almost as if she spoke to us, we had the same idea simultaneously. (Fantastic)
I was trying hard to keep my grief carefully clothed in impatience. (oh- perfect description!)
I know now that taking down that tree was a reminder of one more Christmas used up, but then, we couldn't make sense of it at all. (Worked my tearducts here)
:) Ellie
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Hi Ann-
When I find one of those 'messages' waiting in my FS inbox, telling me of another one of your postings, I can't wait to read. I have clipped several of the reasons why I love your writing, but the best reason is the connection I feel to you. You write so that readers feel they know you, (at least I do.) It is always highly enjoyable to read your words.
The sarcasm dripped from my words. (nice)
Crying served no purpose as far as I could see, and besides, Mama had asked us not to. She had asked us to always remember that her death meant she was painfree, breathed easy and watched us from afar. Almost as if she spoke to us, we had the same idea simultaneously. (Fantastic)
I was trying hard to keep my grief carefully clothed in impatience. (oh- perfect description!)
I know now that taking down that tree was a reminder of one more Christmas used up, but then, we couldn't make sense of it at all. (Worked my tearducts here)
:) Ellie
Comment Written 30-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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I also replied in a PM. Ellie, your support is unwavering and so humbling. I appreciate you more than you know. Thanks. ann
