CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 142 "In Shatters"A collection of poetry
87 total reviews
Comment from Jo52800
I am very impressed with this work (not that I'm any kind of authority). I think you provide a great emotion here and your syllable count does not seem like you forced in an extra word to make it work. It flows very naturally. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2008
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I am very impressed with this work (not that I'm any kind of authority). I think you provide a great emotion here and your syllable count does not seem like you forced in an extra word to make it work. It flows very naturally. Nicely done.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2008
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So glad you felt it wasn't so contrived! Don't we all work so hard for THAT one! Thanks very much for your great review and glad you enjoyed it. With regards, Sue
Comment from jlsavell
ASixteezkid, wow, you have done it again..love the mirror stanzas as it says so very much...you know the Scriptures say..if a rudder can steer a ship, a bridle can steer a horse, think how much hurt or trouble that one small member the tongue can stir...well done jlsavell
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2008
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ASixteezkid, wow, you have done it again..love the mirror stanzas as it says so very much...you know the Scriptures say..if a rudder can steer a ship, a bridle can steer a horse, think how much hurt or trouble that one small member the tongue can stir...well done jlsavell
Comment Written 28-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2008
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Savell, thank you once again for reading my work. And thanks for the great review! Thanks to this site, I'm trying to stretch myself with some "foreign" structures that I've never seen or done. Love it! Much appreciated and with regards, Sue
Comment from Jendowoz
I agree fully Sixteezkid, I have a Clarity pyramid poem that says exactly this, in another way. If you want to, go to "all" in my portfolio and you will see the poem called "Words". It has a very similar thrust. I think that old saying "Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is totally wrong. They may not hurt you physically but boy they can certainly leave an open wound, that never heals. Which indirectly will eventually effect you physically as well.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2008
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I agree fully Sixteezkid, I have a Clarity pyramid poem that says exactly this, in another way. If you want to, go to "all" in my portfolio and you will see the poem called "Words". It has a very similar thrust. I think that old saying "Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is totally wrong. They may not hurt you physically but boy they can certainly leave an open wound, that never heals. Which indirectly will eventually effect you physically as well.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2008
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I just read your "Words". Wow, they are very much alike with the imagery. Like yours very much. Thank you for your very kind words. Sue
Comment from Judian James
I agree with you that words are so damaging and leave lasting scars. I'm not sure I would have mixed burning in with the damage from "shards" I think I would have carried through on the metaphor started. imho well done.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2008
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I agree with you that words are so damaging and leave lasting scars. I'm not sure I would have mixed burning in with the damage from "shards" I think I would have carried through on the metaphor started. imho well done.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2008
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Judian, funny you should mention that ("burning - "shards"). Studied it myself a few times. Dang! I can't even get away with anything here, can I?!!! Am going to re-visit and will see what might happen. Not sure. Thanks for your honest review. All great news! Respectfully, sue
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wow, what a major difference!!! Thanks, Judy!
Comment from P1
it is so true once the words are said no matter how much we said they werent meant they can never be taken back and can hurt so much deper thank physical abuse. well written and thought out. hugs lynda.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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it is so true once the words are said no matter how much we said they werent meant they can never be taken back and can hurt so much deper thank physical abuse. well written and thought out. hugs lynda.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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Paige, thanks so much for reading this piece. And for your great review and lovely words. Kindest regards, Sue
Comment from Josipher32
This was a very nicely written double tetractys poem with the perfect syllable count on each line.
Excellent message portrayed here. Perfect picture choice for the poetry's content.
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This was a very nicely written double tetractys poem with the perfect syllable count on each line.
Excellent message portrayed here. Perfect picture choice for the poetry's content.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2008
Comment from whispersofthesoul
hi this is a beautiful piece and it is so true what you say words can be deadly and scar forever you may heal but you never for get
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hi this is a beautiful piece and it is so true what you say words can be deadly and scar forever you may heal but you never for get
Comment Written 28-Nov-2008
Comment from Scarlettdreams
I am all too familiar with this unbearable pain. People so often don't realize what words do. They can wound you more permanently than a fist. Very well said. Bravo
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I am all too familiar with this unbearable pain. People so often don't realize what words do. They can wound you more permanently than a fist. Very well said. Bravo
Comment Written 28-Nov-2008
Comment from c_lucas
A much more poetic way of saying be carefule your words may come back to bit you. It has a good cadence and a beautiful imagery and discriptive scheme.
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A much more poetic way of saying be carefule your words may come back to bit you. It has a good cadence and a beautiful imagery and discriptive scheme.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2008
Comment from GentleWind
Excellent imagery. Words have a power all their own. Just ask quantum physics experts! It flowed well and it definately spoke of strong emotions. Good job
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Excellent imagery. Words have a power all their own. Just ask quantum physics experts! It flowed well and it definately spoke of strong emotions. Good job
Comment Written 28-Nov-2008
