Pantoum for Peace
A Poet's Lament for the Lost Lives of All Wars92 total reviews
Comment from Annmuma
Awesome! I think I've read another contest winner --and you've had a number of those lately. The imagery is above average and the emotion is palpable. ann
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2008
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Awesome! I think I've read another contest winner --and you've had a number of those lately. The imagery is above average and the emotion is palpable. ann
Comment Written 16-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2008
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Ann, thank you so much. This poem means a great deal to me - sometimes a poem is a poem, and sometimes it is part of one's entire being. This is one of those. Peace, Brooke
Comment from tony bronk
This is a very senstive and insightful poem, my dear friend. It so so unlike the others and that inspires me. You're one of the Fanstorians who I would love to know in person, and able to see your facial expressions as you express your various feelings and thoughts about life.They must be marvelous.Good luck in the contest. You got my vote. tony
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2008
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This is a very senstive and insightful poem, my dear friend. It so so unlike the others and that inspires me. You're one of the Fanstorians who I would love to know in person, and able to see your facial expressions as you express your various feelings and thoughts about life.They must be marvelous.Good luck in the contest. You got my vote. tony
Comment Written 14-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2008
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Tony, what kind words -thank you so very much. I am touched.
Peace, Brooke
Comment from KelinaJ
Fascinating image. Great selection. Excellent presentation and color scheme. Good use of rhythm and rhyme. The lines flow well. Great imagery.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2008
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Fascinating image. Great selection. Excellent presentation and color scheme. Good use of rhythm and rhyme. The lines flow well. Great imagery.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2008
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Kelina, thank you for your kind words of encouragement! Brooke
Comment from Mightierthanthesword
This is probably the most emotive poem I have ever heard.
I LOVED the repetition it was almost like feeling his soul passing away, the poem started off so strong and slowly began to fade. The pace slowed and the lines became repetitive, just like a mind groggily slipping into sleep (or death)
fantastic.
This poem was almost origional of it's type, with very little reference to pain or horror and taking a totaly peaceful and quiet approach towards loss.
Only one change I would make.
"He lies on its bank as the river flows"
I think "the bank" is more appropriate as the river is mentionned after.
I think "In flanders fields" has a new rival.
Oli
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2008
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This is probably the most emotive poem I have ever heard.
I LOVED the repetition it was almost like feeling his soul passing away, the poem started off so strong and slowly began to fade. The pace slowed and the lines became repetitive, just like a mind groggily slipping into sleep (or death)
fantastic.
This poem was almost origional of it's type, with very little reference to pain or horror and taking a totaly peaceful and quiet approach towards loss.
Only one change I would make.
"He lies on its bank as the river flows"
I think "the bank" is more appropriate as the river is mentionned after.
I think "In flanders fields" has a new rival.
Oli
Comment Written 10-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2008
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Oli, you are trying to get on my good side and succeeding - In flanders field has been one of my all time favorite poems since I was younger than your tender years. I'll think over the whole the bank/ its bank controversy :- ) Thank you, Brooke :-) I see I have new writing of yours to look over too, which I will shortly!
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Beautiful isnt it. It's a 'spine tingler'
Who wrote it?
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In Flanders Field was written by John McCrea, not a poet I really know beyond this poem. If you want to read lots of great war poetry there is a wonderful book called Minds at War - the Poetry and Experience of the First WW - by David Roberts that has this poem in it and the mind blowing poetry of Wilfred Owen, Siegfried Sassoon, Rupert Brooke and many others. Owen is my absolute favorite. He died as a soldier in that horrid war. This is one great book.
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I LOVE Owen. I know "Dulche et Decorum est" Off by heart, I recited it for something.
I also love "anthem for doomed youth" My second favorite war poem.
You have awesome taste in poetry.
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Dulce et Decorum is the most magnificent poem - they don't make kids recite much here anymore. When my father's voice made poetry mine, which I think was posted before you ever got on site, is about how my dad recited poetry, which kids used to have to do in the US, but memorization is out of vogue here. I think it is just super super cool that you can do that! You have excellent taste too! Brooke
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I'm afraid I did it for an audition for a film or something.
We never did learn poems by rote at school.
Thats way before my time too.
I thank the lord for english literature and studying poetry
(although obviously its sad and for losers) Sometimes I pity the male species.
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so, have you gotten jobs in film? This is a fascinating new development. :-)
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Nah nothing like that. I was pretty close though.
I got to the final round of auditions and they said any of you could be the part but we have to see who looks right and I looked old for my age.
Was a great experience. I love acting but I only do small stuff for school and things.
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some day you can write your own plays and then cast yourself, not needing to pass anyone else's audition! :-)
Comment from chaswriter
Brooke - Another powerful poem emoting that dying moment. Great visual descriptions you write. But so sad and the emotion is palpable. Great write! Charlie.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2008
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Brooke - Another powerful poem emoting that dying moment. Great visual descriptions you write. But so sad and the emotion is palpable. Great write! Charlie.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2008
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Charlie, thank you!!! Peace, Brooke
Comment from Jarlsbane
Wonderful as always... a really stunning write. Being the hawk that I am I don't think I could write a very good anti-war poem but I still can appreciate yours very much!
-- hugs jarls
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2008
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Wonderful as always... a really stunning write. Being the hawk that I am I don't think I could write a very good anti-war poem but I still can appreciate yours very much!
-- hugs jarls
Comment Written 10-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2008
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This is my last thing I am doing before going off to bed, so it is delightful it is a positive review from you. Don't go hugging me after I'm already melting - I won't be able to sleep!! :-) Brooke
Comment from Artasylum
this is a heart breaker...just wishing for one more minute and knowing that the clock has run out...how sad...yours, diana...
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2008
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this is a heart breaker...just wishing for one more minute and knowing that the clock has run out...how sad...yours, diana...
Comment Written 09-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2008
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Thank you- yours is a perceptive interpretation - Peace, Brooke
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello adewpearl
Wonderful poem with such clear visions of a dying soldier. The beautiful thoughts of the violets was very touching and loved the rhyme.
Good luck in the contest
Gert
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2008
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Hello adewpearl
Wonderful poem with such clear visions of a dying soldier. The beautiful thoughts of the violets was very touching and loved the rhyme.
Good luck in the contest
Gert
Comment Written 09-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2008
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Gert, thanks so very much - you are most generous in your comments and rating! Peace, Brooke I am glad you like the violets
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You are so welcome adewpearl
Gert
Comment from Minglement
Would that I had six stars. This is beautiful imagery on a delicate subject. Too many wars, too much loss. Flawless presentation, art and all. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2008
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Would that I had six stars. This is beautiful imagery on a delicate subject. Too many wars, too much loss. Flawless presentation, art and all. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2008
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I am honored by your generous comments and thoughtful response. Peace, Brooke
Comment from daviwake
Thank you for this poem. An appropriate one for Remembrance Sunday here in the UK. You use repetition to good effect - the ideas of slaking thirst and parched lips build up to create the effect. The river and water are images of life contrasted to the idea of violence and death. You have chosen to rhyme in a strict verse structure - which I think is harder than free verse and its success is measured by the fact that it is not noticed.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2008
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Thank you for this poem. An appropriate one for Remembrance Sunday here in the UK. You use repetition to good effect - the ideas of slaking thirst and parched lips build up to create the effect. The river and water are images of life contrasted to the idea of violence and death. You have chosen to rhyme in a strict verse structure - which I think is harder than free verse and its success is measured by the fact that it is not noticed.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2008
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You just said the magic words - that my rhymes were not noticed - I always teach that rhymes or meter or whatever a form prescribes should be so natural as to sound like what someone wanted to say in the first place, so your saying that to me makes my night!!! Your comments are perceptive and kind. Thank you so very much. Peace, Brooke
