Daybreak
a modern sonnet in praise of fairies and new days91 total reviews
Comment from KelinaJ
Great image selection. Good presentation and color scheme. Good rhythm and rhyme. An imaginatively stunning visualization. Great Job.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2008
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Great image selection. Good presentation and color scheme. Good rhythm and rhyme. An imaginatively stunning visualization. Great Job.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2008
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Thank you so much - you are being most conscientious in catching up with reviews :-) Brooke
Comment from WordPainter
Oh Brooke, you are one of my heros when it comes to poetry. But you lost me a bit on this one. I love the title (Daybreak) and the first stanza:
When sun's first rays on spider webs glisten,
meadowlarks' songs signal morning's arrived.
Porch wind chimes whisper, and as we listen,
we hear all creation coming alive.
I see the spider web in the photo and in the poem, and the glistening that is so well coordinated in the photo.
Then I read the next three lines and it seems like I've lost the poem I was reading in the first stanza, now I'm reading a poem about faries. Not that I'm opposed to the fairy stuff, just that it seems like the title and first stanza of one poem, then seems like that poem blew away and three stanzas from another poem got added.
Covering my eyes in mourning, I must give you a 4 stars because it just seems not quite right to me. So sorry because I think so highly of you as a poet.
In mourning,
to my one of my favorite poets,
your friend Lois
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2008
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Oh Brooke, you are one of my heros when it comes to poetry. But you lost me a bit on this one. I love the title (Daybreak) and the first stanza:
When sun's first rays on spider webs glisten,
meadowlarks' songs signal morning's arrived.
Porch wind chimes whisper, and as we listen,
we hear all creation coming alive.
I see the spider web in the photo and in the poem, and the glistening that is so well coordinated in the photo.
Then I read the next three lines and it seems like I've lost the poem I was reading in the first stanza, now I'm reading a poem about faries. Not that I'm opposed to the fairy stuff, just that it seems like the title and first stanza of one poem, then seems like that poem blew away and three stanzas from another poem got added.
Covering my eyes in mourning, I must give you a 4 stars because it just seems not quite right to me. So sorry because I think so highly of you as a poet.
In mourning,
to my one of my favorite poets,
your friend Lois
Comment Written 08-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2008
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Lois, I can't please everyone all the time! :-) Thanks, Brooke
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Well I wasn't mourning because I was not pleased, I was mourning because in order to be an honest reviewer of how the poem appeared to me I had to give one of the poets I will always look up to as a poetry expert 4 stars. Just how it was for me, though, no doubt I'm the one who is not connecting, and not the poet!
Blessings,
Lois
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The mourning can stop - I think I can weather a "good" rating every once in a blue moon. :-)
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lol, okay mourning stopped. Seeing as you manage to please me with your poetry 99% of the time, seems you have an excellent track rating anyway!
Blessings,
Lois
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I don't think there is a single emily dickinson or ee cummings poem I don't love - but I probably have a bone to pick with everyone else about at least one of their poems :-)
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hehe, I understand. I've always appreciated when you picked bones with me. Learned a lot!
Lois
Comment from sunsetnurse
I had to read it over a few times to really hear the cadence as you have written it. It is just something that I have not grown used to but I like it. The picture of dawn is so peaceful and light, like the fairies that herald each new day.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2008
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I had to read it over a few times to really hear the cadence as you have written it. It is just something that I have not grown used to but I like it. The picture of dawn is so peaceful and light, like the fairies that herald each new day.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2008
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Thank you for your review. Is the 4 because of the cadence issue? Thanks so much for clarifying. Brooke :-)
Comment from Scarlettdreams
I want to believe in fairies. smiles. What lovely descriptive used here to make them so real. Sweet and wonderful with a nice flow. Bravo Bravo
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2008
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I want to believe in fairies. smiles. What lovely descriptive used here to make them so real. Sweet and wonderful with a nice flow. Bravo Bravo
Comment Written 07-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2008
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Ah, wanting to gets you most of the way there! Thank you, Brooke :-)
Comment from Vaho
Having only just joined the site and given your ranking, I hardly feel qualified to review your work, however -
I loved it. I particularly like the 'filigreed wings' which made me think about things in a totally different way! To me the whole poem sounded as delicate as fairies.
Excellent
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2008
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Having only just joined the site and given your ranking, I hardly feel qualified to review your work, however -
I loved it. I particularly like the 'filigreed wings' which made me think about things in a totally different way! To me the whole poem sounded as delicate as fairies.
Excellent
Comment Written 07-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2008
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You may feel free to "love" my work all you like :-D Thanks so much for this lovely review, and welcome to our community. I look forward to reading your work also. Peace, Brooke :-)
Comment from E. W. Crowe
It's very pretty, Brooke. Soft, and enchanted, like the whisper of a small child. Anyway, I don't who this Cadence pers on is, but are they pretty, too?
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2008
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It's very pretty, Brooke. Soft, and enchanted, like the whisper of a small child. Anyway, I don't who this Cadence pers on is, but are they pretty, too?
Comment Written 07-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2008
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I happen to think that cadence, when achieved, is most pretty. :-) Thanks so much, Brooke :-)
Comment from LegendaryAngel
As you wish, I have read for cadence and the entirety of your piece has a very nice tone to it. I think the rhythm, and just the way the poem sounds when reading aloud is great. Pulls me into that moment.
LA
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2008
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As you wish, I have read for cadence and the entirety of your piece has a very nice tone to it. I think the rhythm, and just the way the poem sounds when reading aloud is great. Pulls me into that moment.
LA
Comment Written 07-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2008
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You are most kind, and I appreciate it. Peace, Brooke :-)
Comment from giftid3
Thanks for sharing this with the rest of us. I enjoyed reading this and the wonderful imagery it painted of the beauty of fairies in dawns first light.
There is a good flow and rhythmn in this that gives forth a harmony of tranquility and awe. It is well worded and well expressed and shows the greatness of God's creation and the simplicity of life through the exquisite portrayal of fairies.
Thanks again and many blessings to you
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2008
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Thanks for sharing this with the rest of us. I enjoyed reading this and the wonderful imagery it painted of the beauty of fairies in dawns first light.
There is a good flow and rhythmn in this that gives forth a harmony of tranquility and awe. It is well worded and well expressed and shows the greatness of God's creation and the simplicity of life through the exquisite portrayal of fairies.
Thanks again and many blessings to you
Comment Written 07-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2008
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what a lovely commentary - I most appreciate you. Peace, Brooke :-)
Comment from Gypsymooncat
Lovely, lovely work again adew. This is a true sonnet, and its remarkable wording and phrasing reads like a song. I loved the lyrical content of this, and marvelled at the dew drops on fairy wings you so easily conjure up with your pen. Your work matches your name, and reflects it in every line. Great job! xoxoxoxoxo
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2008
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Lovely, lovely work again adew. This is a true sonnet, and its remarkable wording and phrasing reads like a song. I loved the lyrical content of this, and marvelled at the dew drops on fairy wings you so easily conjure up with your pen. Your work matches your name, and reflects it in every line. Great job! xoxoxoxoxo
Comment Written 06-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2008
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What friendly and encouraging things you always have to say - thank you!! Brooke
Comment from Winslow
Dear Pearl,
A wonderful verse inspired by the glistening drops suspended on the spider's web. At first I thought this was going to be about nature but in the second verse you switched to fairies. This jarred me slightly but overall a terrific read.
Warm regards,
Winslow
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2008
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Dear Pearl,
A wonderful verse inspired by the glistening drops suspended on the spider's web. At first I thought this was going to be about nature but in the second verse you switched to fairies. This jarred me slightly but overall a terrific read.
Warm regards,
Winslow
Comment Written 06-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2008
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but, Winslow, fairies live in nature - haven't you noticed them every time you go outside??? :-D Thank you for your kind words, Brooke :-)
