Stalker
Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "Search!"Jim and Lenny are hired to find a stalker
20 total reviews
Comment from Dave M
Gayle,
I'm back home, starting to catch up with my reading. I enjoyed this chapter, although I have several comments:
"We're ready to engage, though, and the dogs are on track, too." I think this would read better without the last word, "too."
"Jim and Lenny began to scan the property, night vision goggles illuminating the property." You use the word "property" twice here - once is enough. I'd say, "Jim and Lenny scanned the property with night vision goggles."
As for your comment, I know that feeling. Sometimes it takes longer to wrap up a book than the author intended.
Dave M
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2008
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Gayle,
I'm back home, starting to catch up with my reading. I enjoyed this chapter, although I have several comments:
"We're ready to engage, though, and the dogs are on track, too." I think this would read better without the last word, "too."
"Jim and Lenny began to scan the property, night vision goggles illuminating the property." You use the word "property" twice here - once is enough. I'd say, "Jim and Lenny scanned the property with night vision goggles."
As for your comment, I know that feeling. Sometimes it takes longer to wrap up a book than the author intended.
Dave M
Comment Written 02-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2008
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Hey Dave,
Good catches for sure. This has been quite the ride, this book. I'm hoping to finish it this week. I'll find another word for property...land, area...
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Gayle, although "it's them" to Andy and Candace means their kidnappers, we know it could be any one of numerous folks. It could even be their wonderful Cricket coming to gather them, couldn't it? One small piece of spag for you below. By the way, don't apoplogize for the book not ending yet. It will end when the story is done.
It to be made >> It had to be made
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2008
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Gayle, although "it's them" to Andy and Candace means their kidnappers, we know it could be any one of numerous folks. It could even be their wonderful Cricket coming to gather them, couldn't it? One small piece of spag for you below. By the way, don't apoplogize for the book not ending yet. It will end when the story is done.
It to be made >> It had to be made
Comment Written 25-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2008
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Hi Jan,
Yep, I think you're right. It probably was Cricket who set off the very first one. From there on in it's the people bumping around! Decorative lighting like that is so beautiful. We did it around the farm...helped locate a loose horse here and there. I wish I could get to the end of this one! It just keeps slipping away!
Thanks so much and have a great day,
Hugs
Gayle
Comment from Allezw2
Lady Gayle,
I always liked the game Hide and Seek when you had a farmyard and the outbuildings to work with. It's not as much fun in the suburbs where there is so little room without running into your neighbors' yards.
Still, you made for an interesting little tale with the good people racing about.
You certainly have a varied crew running about.
That last line waa a winner.
Nicely done,
Wayne.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2008
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Lady Gayle,
I always liked the game Hide and Seek when you had a farmyard and the outbuildings to work with. It's not as much fun in the suburbs where there is so little room without running into your neighbors' yards.
Still, you made for an interesting little tale with the good people racing about.
You certainly have a varied crew running about.
That last line waa a winner.
Nicely done,
Wayne.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2008
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Hey Wayne! They're Everywhere! lol, it's been a fun chase but I think it's time to reel them in and close up shop!
Thanks for the fine review, my friend,
Hugs,
Gayle
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You're quite welcome.
Comment from RenieReader
Oh, my gosh. I just can't stand them wandering around in the dark with lights flashing on and off, and her falling. These creeps are so evil. They think nothing of killing anyone in their way. Yikes!!!
It [had] to be made by the men who had freed Andy, pressed inward as it was.
Hugs,
Renie
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2008
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Oh, my gosh. I just can't stand them wandering around in the dark with lights flashing on and off, and her falling. These creeps are so evil. They think nothing of killing anyone in their way. Yikes!!!
It [had] to be made by the men who had freed Andy, pressed inward as it was.
Hugs,
Renie
Comment Written 24-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2008
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OMG! Renie! A SIXER!!!
My gosh, how wonderful of you, and I can't thank you enough. I'm having a hard time ending this and the characters are no help!
So appreciated, dear one!
Huggers,
Gayle
Comment from Sylvia Page
As usual Gayle, your chapter held my in interest to the end. Just one thing I found glaring was the change in the style of speech by the Russians. If you are changing it here then you have to do so from the earlier chapters as well. Then again, I doubt that the dialogue here matches up to a direct translation of a foreign tongue. Possibly you can get around that by saying that it was said in a Russian dialect.
That's it my dear, and see you later in the next chapter; I see it is out already.
Sylvia
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2008
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As usual Gayle, your chapter held my in interest to the end. Just one thing I found glaring was the change in the style of speech by the Russians. If you are changing it here then you have to do so from the earlier chapters as well. Then again, I doubt that the dialogue here matches up to a direct translation of a foreign tongue. Possibly you can get around that by saying that it was said in a Russian dialect.
That's it my dear, and see you later in the next chapter; I see it is out already.
Sylvia
Comment Written 23-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2008
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Gosh, Sylvia, I forgot to post in the Author's notes. Good catch. Yes, after comments from others, I realized that the Ruskies would be speaking in their native tongue, so I didn't need to go to the other halting narrative. I am changing it in the ms and will do so here, as well.
See! Only a continuing reader would know that! Thanks so much for your continued support. I'm also giving 'Green Eyes' a name. That got all too much, as well; Dimitri!
Thank you again, m'dear, always love to see you!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from butterflykiss
Oh my they're not going to get caught are they? They been through so much, and there is so many people looking for them, surely they'll run into some good guys.
Thanks for sharing.
Butterflykiss
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2008
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Oh my they're not going to get caught are they? They been through so much, and there is so many people looking for them, surely they'll run into some good guys.
Thanks for sharing.
Butterflykiss
Comment Written 22-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2008
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Hi Jane,
Oh, the characters took over the story about nine chapters ago and I have no idea what they're going to do. Hope it works well for Candace and Andy!
Thanks for the R&R and your wonderful comments,
Hugs,
Gayle
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Hello Gayle, you have the same problem as me, I can't figure out what my characters are going to do either, isn't it fun to see what happens and how they work out their problems?.
Butterflykiss
Comment from Stephy Jemmisparks
ah, maybe it's a trap, or its some one else, Gayle, or it could be just the house on fire! I hope so! (laughs)then, these scheming murderers-to-be would be would have their foiled folly plans, buried in the sand .
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2008
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ah, maybe it's a trap, or its some one else, Gayle, or it could be just the house on fire! I hope so! (laughs)then, these scheming murderers-to-be would be would have their foiled folly plans, buried in the sand .
Comment Written 22-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2008
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Hi again, Stephy,
Well, we're getting ready to wind this up. Stuff keeps happening. Honestly, I thought I would be done by now!
Hang in there and thanks for the great comments.
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from wierdgrace
what a exciting story, and excellently written, I could not stop reading until I reach the end. and I wanted more. thank you for sharing, no errors and no revisions. awesome.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2008
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what a exciting story, and excellently written, I could not stop reading until I reach the end. and I wanted more. thank you for sharing, no errors and no revisions. awesome.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2008
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Hi Grace,
My, what a wonderful review! I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter and thanks for your super duper comments. Hope to see you again,
Gayle
Comment from Domino
Hi, Gayle
Maybe it's me, but i'm not sure about 'Tony' as a name for a dog. With all the other human names, I keep forgetting. 'Cricket' is great as there'r an obvious difference.
'Jim and Lenny began to scan the property, night vision goggles illuminating the property.' -
'property' repeated.
'Now well behind the sweeping lights, the men' - maybe 'Russians' to make it clearer?
'Well shrouded in the darkness, one said to the other' don't like the terminology, maybe 'one spoke' or something similar?
'It to be made by the men who had freed Andy, pressed inward as it was.'- 'it HAD'?
'Candace nodded several times then cleared her throat.' - extra space above
'"They're on timers. They only stay on a short time,' - maybe 'a short WHILE' to avoid rep.
Excellent writing, as usual, Gayle. Hope that's of some use. Best wishes, ray xx
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2008
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Hi, Gayle
Maybe it's me, but i'm not sure about 'Tony' as a name for a dog. With all the other human names, I keep forgetting. 'Cricket' is great as there'r an obvious difference.
'Jim and Lenny began to scan the property, night vision goggles illuminating the property.' -
'property' repeated.
'Now well behind the sweeping lights, the men' - maybe 'Russians' to make it clearer?
'Well shrouded in the darkness, one said to the other' don't like the terminology, maybe 'one spoke' or something similar?
'It to be made by the men who had freed Andy, pressed inward as it was.'- 'it HAD'?
'Candace nodded several times then cleared her throat.' - extra space above
'"They're on timers. They only stay on a short time,' - maybe 'a short WHILE' to avoid rep.
Excellent writing, as usual, Gayle. Hope that's of some use. Best wishes, ray xx
Comment Written 22-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2008
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Hey Ray,
Good eyes and thanks for noting them. The old fingers are flying about now and the eyes won't see so good. Bad place to be! LOL! Thanks again and I'll get in there and make fix.
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
It's so easy to review your work,
which is always so well written/presented
holding the interest to the end.
However, it's not so easy to find the
words to write in the review, since it's
all just perfect.
Warm regards.
Margaret.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2008
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It's so easy to review your work,
which is always so well written/presented
holding the interest to the end.
However, it's not so easy to find the
words to write in the review, since it's
all just perfect.
Warm regards.
Margaret.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2008
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Oh, Margaret, always so nice to see you. I so appreciate your kind words and support. It's hard to be a novelist, huh, especially when the book is long.
Thank you again and have a great day, dear,
Hugs,
Gayle
