Reviews from

Going In Through The Out-The Doors

Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Powerfully Spirited!"
A book about music and a project.

9 total reviews 
Comment from mtngalofnc
Excellent
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Hi Mike,
Sounds a like a woman who is open and honest with strength of character and I don't know why anyone would be put off by that. I liked the part about the beer and as far as personality changing with the beat of the music, I think all of our personalities change with the flow of the music in our lives. The picture is good and I enjoyed your poem very much. Thank you for sharing and God bless and best wishes!
mtngalofnc

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2008


reply by the author on 18-Oct-2008
    Personalities do change, especially if your of the creative sort. Thank you very much for your compliments and this review, may God bless you too. Mike
Comment from Nightwind1
Excellent
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You did a good job of painting a picture of the musician on the stage. Appearances are often deceiving and many people always judge by what they see.

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2008


reply by the author on 18-Oct-2008
    Thank you very much for your compliments and t hsi review. Mike K2
Comment from Twomoon
Excellent
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haha, Mike, sorry, had to go out walking to the town. Well, I loved this and it turned out wonderful! You are quite the clever one, as I was reading the first verse, I thought what, is this about me?? haha..what an ego! Then I read your notes..haha..me ? ...spirited??? hehe..well, I was showing Machu karate and he got too close and I slugged him...haha..not hard mind you, just enough to knock him out!! just kidding, not about the slug, but the other...ohhhh..I was sooo upset..he laughed, which teaed me off a little, haha..so I tried again...no so not!! haha, well, I found this wonderful and I will not torture you anymore. Your notes were nice to read. I hate to say, Machu and I were trying to figure out where the girl was!! I am assuming the hair?? haha..thanks for this it was just brilliant and fun..hillarious about the beer can, protecting the camera and I think it was a bud light!! haha..you crack me up..thanks for the tea, Mike, have a good one, much love twomoon

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2008


reply by the author on 17-Oct-2008
    The keyboard, it was brought up high and rested like overly long bangs. Leave the poor guy alone, it was obivious he was second fiddle. lol It was a full cup of beer.
    Thank for the compliments and this review. Better to breakin slowly with Machu. I am Kung Fu and Krav Maga. To be honest, I study seriously, but don't spar, choosing only to fight when my life is in danger. So far everyone has backed down because they know my first blow will be a dozzy and disabling. I let the kid who I pulled out of my step-daughter's window off of the hook because the last time I had that much adreneline through my system was when my ex-wife hit me and I put my hand through a sony stereo and broke all six circut boards.

    The only fights that I lost were with my severely brain damaged mother who was only 126 pounds with the undirected strength of six men... and no descretion. Also I was attacked by 24 boy scouts. It looked like a kung fu movie with bodies flying, until the Senior Patrol did their job and directed. With waves of six at a time, I was dropped to my knees, then knocked face down. The coo de grass was when a kid couldn't stop running and kneed the back of my head. Then I ended up being chocked as the goal was to get my hat and with a foot to the back of my head, they were pulling it off with the chin strap around my neck. I learned how a real victim feels and was praying for my death, but the chinstrap broke. My truth is stranger then fiction. Need a laugh, just imagine that scene. I like a strong woman. He better too!

    I am very glad that my fans such as you have reviewed this. My first review was horrible and mean spirited. I generally don't complain and restrict standard members from reviewing. I checked the profile and for being here a year, there was nothing in his portfolio and I was the first review. There was one other, but I had to wonder if that was for good measure. There were a couple other standard members who didn't review this so hotly, but I checked and felt they were honest and was at least able to explain the methods and logic behind my work. I know for a fact that this has been linked and is being passed around. This is more for a younger reader and will encourage a write like that to look around at this site. I don't want them to be put off by harsh and unrespondable criticism.

    I did have a sense of you in this. I know your all light spirited and hugs and kisses, but I also sense that serious hard working nature, behind everything. I hung with the art crowd [having a full beard at fifteen]and know the music crowd was the same. I saw so many people pass judgement and ironically, the people that I hung with may have had their issues, but were top notch. did you pick up my hint? Hug? lol

    Much love and wishing you a good weekend, Mike
Comment from justmade
Excellent
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She's a rocker Mike. I can feel her energy going by how your poem.
The part of kicking a beer made me crack a bit. I think the excitement can get to that at times and then a lot things are taken for granted just for the fun.
She didn't jump into the crowd, did she?
Much love,
Justmade.

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2008


reply by the author on 17-Oct-2008
    No, but I was only there for fifteen minutes, not the full hours. They were the last band and with only a few hours sleep, I was pretty tired. I photographed the entire day. It wasn't my genre, but I believed she played origionals as well. I hung with the art crowd and knew the music crowd was the same. Many people passed an unfavorable judgement and had contempt that wasn't deserved as they were to me, very decent and standup people, despite their issues.

    If you like this one, stay tuned for, "Untamed Spirit." I was free lancing an article concept with National Geographic in mind. I was photographing reenactments and the camps, when I saw and photographed the oldest battle occur. I captured it perfectly, the look on the woman's face was priceless as she chased after her untamed spirit in full petticoats.

    Thank you very much for the compliments and this review. Mike

Comment from Judian James
Excellent
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"walked up to the last band's beer and kicked it in my direction. It would have been a good shot, provided it wasn't coming directly my way. My sixth sense told me to cover my camera. I think it was Bud Light!" Hilarious Mike!! Okay, now for the poem ... I liked it a lot. Very good beat and rhythm to this piece. I could see the woman "singingly scream" her lyrics. I would drop, "to a few" in the beer verse, as it's not necessary and throws off the pace of the entire piece. Just a minor tweak, otherwise excellent!!

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2008


reply by the author on 17-Oct-2008
    I am very glad that you enjoyed this and appreciate and thank you for your compliments and this review. I made the suggested change too.
    Have a great weekend, Mike
reply by Judian James on 17-Oct-2008
    It's really good Mike. One of your best.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2008
    I never expected to her that one! God bless. I gues the women that I appreciate are of the same spirit. Have a great weekend.
Comment from audmom
Good
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strong sense of voice of an "outsider" among the regular joes. Shows the side of us--all of us--that often goes unseen and misunderstood. I like the Chopin line, displaying a kind of appreciation for refinement even though appears to be so unrefined.

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2008


reply by the author on 17-Oct-2008
    I appreciate performance and the person photographed was all business and striving. In her case, it is obivious that music is her love as the performance was. I talked with the program director of the sponsering station and basically, in his travels after the event was planned, liked what he saw and invited the various bands that played. Most groups perform at bars so a full size stage event is one of the greatest experiences a band can have, also a nightmare. I think the the greatest gift in my life is not judging a book by its cover, even if that is how they want us to perceive. Most people hold true to the stereotype, but there are unique individuals that don't and stand out.

    In my case, she is nothing more then a face and about thirty seconds of conversation; about fifteen minute of photography. I was tired, dehydrated and had to go home. But she fit with other people that I met and who's story I felt had to get out.

    Thank you very much for your compliments and reviewing this. Mike K2
Comment from DrCarter2001
Good
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Really enjoyable, I like the rhyme scheme and that at times the rhyme isn't completely obvious. I have just a couple of minor edits:
I'm not sure I understand the semicolon after "or being blunt" or the question mark in the ninth line. Same goes for the comma in the 21st line. I know these are just grammatical corrections but even in poetry punctuation can change the context and meaning. If you intended these for a reason then just ignore my comment, but if they were typos or errors then hope these suggestions help!

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2008


reply by the author on 17-Oct-2008
    I removed the comma on the 21st line and changed the semi colon. I always consider all suggestions. Thank you for taking the time to review this.
Comment from PatriciaLiteHickman
Excellent
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Quite the history in the author's notes; must've taken longer than the poem :-)

well written; no corrections;

this:

"I singingly scream out life's woes? "

probably could use a ! instead of ?

powerful pic and poem too; just a minor correction; well done!

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2008


reply by the author on 17-Oct-2008
    I possibly could use a !, but it is in reference to a comtemplative state about not being looked upon with approval. I did make a change in that line to better clarify that. In my mind the only other option would be to use a period as I did in the stanza above. I thank you very much for your compliments, suggestions and this review. I hope you have a blessed day, too. Mike
reply by PatriciaLiteHickman on 17-Oct-2008
    oh I see what you are saying :-) Well you are welcome for the review, it was my pleasure. Blessings on your night (or day). Tricia
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2008
    It's 1 am, the end of my day, but at 5:00am I wake up to go back to work. I work a split. lol Thanks, Mike
reply by PatriciaLiteHickman on 17-Oct-2008
    Oh that's right, I remember you saying that; gee, it's hard on the sleeping cycle isn't it? What kind of work do you do? Blessings, Tricia
Comment from ecalvarez
Needs Improvement
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The narrative catches my interest when she plays "kick-the-can". The set-up before goes on long beyond necessity.
Conversely the poem starts out great and then disintegrates into a clutching for rhymes. After a little incubation time the pierce should be rewritten.

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2008


reply by the author on 16-Oct-2008
    Set up? Set up what. I wrote this poem about the perceived qualities of the person in the photograph and I feel that they are fairly complete. With a lot of my poetry, I try to get close enough with rhyme to keep the flow, but not losing the meaning of what I wanted to say. Much of my writing is more freely styled. If this was to be an exact rhyming piece, the structure would be much more formal. Perhaps the critism is in the subject matter. Thank you for reviewing this. Mike