On Your Mark! Get Set! GO!
Viewing comments for Chapter 153 "Graduation"Life stories in only six words!
137 total reviews
Comment from toddnyc
Very good entry through these very carefully chosen words you not only tell a great story you make it real. I appreciated this piece very much. Todd
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2008
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Very good entry through these very carefully chosen words you not only tell a great story you make it real. I appreciated this piece very much. Todd
Comment Written 11-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2008
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Thank you for reading, reviewing and your great comments. I appreciate you very much.
Comment from babbi
Got the whole story in 6 words. The ups and downs of real life. . . Did you mean to write "God expelled?" instead of "Got expelled?" If so, very interesting concept in that it was part of God's plan to create your grandchild. Did I get it??? babbi
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2008
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Got the whole story in 6 words. The ups and downs of real life. . . Did you mean to write "God expelled?" instead of "Got expelled?" If so, very interesting concept in that it was part of God's plan to create your grandchild. Did I get it??? babbi
Comment Written 11-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2008
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Thank you for reading, reviewing and your great comments. I appreciate you very much. You got it just right.
Comment from The Boy Whodunnit!
There are so many ways of understanding what this means. I like that it could mean different things to each person that reads it.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2008
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There are so many ways of understanding what this means. I like that it could mean different things to each person that reads it.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2008
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Thank you for reading, reviewing and your great comments. I appreciate you very much.
Comment from amada
Oh, I see your point after reading the author's notes. It could go the other way around too, as the birth of a grandchild to someone who is lonely.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2008
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Oh, I see your point after reading the author's notes. It could go the other way around too, as the birth of a grandchild to someone who is lonely.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2008
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Thank you for reading, reviewing and your great comments. I appreciate you very much.
Comment from nicolep
great work. Love the image and the way that you have constructed your words. Very clever and witty. Fantastic and best wishes.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2008
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great work. Love the image and the way that you have constructed your words. Very clever and witty. Fantastic and best wishes.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2008
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Thank you for reading, reviewing and your great comments. I appreciate you very much.
Comment from CaseyMezera
Hi skye,
I like it. However my dull intellect leaves me a bit confused.
God Expelled in your notes means that with the separation of church and state all moral values are absent from our school system. in the next sentence you have "Beautiful Grandchild" which to me suggests that your daughter got pregnant in high school from the lack of morals, but your proud of your grandchild.
I guess I can respect the seemingly contradictory tone of the poem because in true life that's probably how you feel.
My only suggestion for change would be "God's Expelled". For me it would help identify what is going on. As it is my first impression was that God expelled your daughter because she was pregnant. Using the conjunction "God's" meaning "God is" makes it a bit clearer in my mind.
Casey
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2008
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Hi skye,
I like it. However my dull intellect leaves me a bit confused.
God Expelled in your notes means that with the separation of church and state all moral values are absent from our school system. in the next sentence you have "Beautiful Grandchild" which to me suggests that your daughter got pregnant in high school from the lack of morals, but your proud of your grandchild.
I guess I can respect the seemingly contradictory tone of the poem because in true life that's probably how you feel.
My only suggestion for change would be "God's Expelled". For me it would help identify what is going on. As it is my first impression was that God expelled your daughter because she was pregnant. Using the conjunction "God's" meaning "God is" makes it a bit clearer in my mind.
Casey
Comment Written 11-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2008
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Thank you for reading, reviewing and your great comments. I appreciate you very much. I think you are correct.
Comment from demelzadreamer
i really like this poem. And you're right. God has been expelled from public schools. I go to a private christian school so i don't have that problem, but you are absolutely right. Good luck with your writing.
Yours, most sincerely,
DemelzaDreamer
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2008
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i really like this poem. And you're right. God has been expelled from public schools. I go to a private christian school so i don't have that problem, but you are absolutely right. Good luck with your writing.
Yours, most sincerely,
DemelzaDreamer
Comment Written 11-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2008
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Thank you for reading, reviewing and your great comments. I appreciate you very much.
Comment from Wendyanne
Hi Skye. You have managed to say so much in this very interetsing and thought provoking six words. Good luck in this contest.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2008
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Hi Skye. You have managed to say so much in this very interetsing and thought provoking six words. Good luck in this contest.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2008
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Thank you for reading, reviewing and your great comments. I appreciate you very much.
Comment from charliecheshire
super. Loved the God expeled words, because this creates so may different variations of meaning.
All the best
charlie Cheshire
The cheese People
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2008
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super. Loved the God expeled words, because this creates so may different variations of meaning.
All the best
charlie Cheshire
The cheese People
Comment Written 11-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2008
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Thank you for reading, reviewing and your great comments. I appreciate you very much.
Comment from confusion
Your words summed it all up . Children makes this world a better place . thanks for posting. The part about God expelled is kind of a stumper. but i think i know what you meant
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2008
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Your words summed it all up . Children makes this world a better place . thanks for posting. The part about God expelled is kind of a stumper. but i think i know what you meant
Comment Written 11-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2008
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Thank you for reading, reviewing and your great comments. I appreciate you very much.
