Stalker
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "Canine Contingent, Pt. 1"Jim and Lenny are hired to find a stalker
20 total reviews
Comment from sharon fallis
All right Gayle, this is fantastic, such excitement. Really good writing, and such a great story. I love the way the dogs are following and those bad guys don't even know what kind of trouble they are in. LOL Sharon
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2008
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All right Gayle, this is fantastic, such excitement. Really good writing, and such a great story. I love the way the dogs are following and those bad guys don't even know what kind of trouble they are in. LOL Sharon
Comment Written 03-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2008
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Well, hi there, Sharon,
So nice to see you again! Thanks for the great comments. I really appreciate your review!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Allezw2
Lady Gayle,
Dang lady, the local constabularies are surely a day late and a dollar short so far.
Have you nothing good to say for the horse and fire power these characters are generating?
Your story is definitely going to the dogs.
Wayne
For your consideration:
- training their powerful [high-beam headlights]
Perhaps, [spotlights], the ones mounted on the "A" pillars and individually, manually, controlled from inside the car?
The headlights would be difficult to aim independent of the vehicle's orientation.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2008
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Lady Gayle,
Dang lady, the local constabularies are surely a day late and a dollar short so far.
Have you nothing good to say for the horse and fire power these characters are generating?
Your story is definitely going to the dogs.
Wayne
For your consideration:
- training their powerful [high-beam headlights]
Perhaps, [spotlights], the ones mounted on the "A" pillars and individually, manually, controlled from inside the car?
The headlights would be difficult to aim independent of the vehicle's orientation.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2008
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Hey Wayne,
Yes, you're right! I should have thought of that. Will change asap! So appreciate you looking in on me...always such an encouraging word!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Sissy
Hey Gayle,
Ooh, both Tony and Cricket are at work. I expect nothing but the best from Tony, but we'll have to see what Cricket does!! Nice chapter, way to draw up the suspense! Good job with the description to help keep the tension going.
Some things to check out:
and hit the call button
he hit the brakes
(hit/hit - very close together.)
turning the night into broad
boomed through the pitch-black night
(watch the 'night's here, Gayle. Could probably just say: 'Through the pitch-black'? Or further adjust.)
Another LAPD vehicle drove into the driveway and continued around to the back of the property. The set of kleig lights mounted on the back of the truck (back of/back of - repetitive. Can say: 'around to the rear of the property.)
part of the backyard
sweep the back yard (backyard or back yard - either is correct, but pick one!)
worked their way down the trail
continued down the trail to the fen
to head down the fence line until they
(down/down/down.)
across the backyard
, and entered the back yard (same here w/ backyard - back yard. Pick one.)
them again, green eyes turned to his fellows (Think you need 'Green Eyes' here.)
Hope this helps!
Take care,
Sis
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2008
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Hey Gayle,
Ooh, both Tony and Cricket are at work. I expect nothing but the best from Tony, but we'll have to see what Cricket does!! Nice chapter, way to draw up the suspense! Good job with the description to help keep the tension going.
Some things to check out:
and hit the call button
he hit the brakes
(hit/hit - very close together.)
turning the night into broad
boomed through the pitch-black night
(watch the 'night's here, Gayle. Could probably just say: 'Through the pitch-black'? Or further adjust.)
Another LAPD vehicle drove into the driveway and continued around to the back of the property. The set of kleig lights mounted on the back of the truck (back of/back of - repetitive. Can say: 'around to the rear of the property.)
part of the backyard
sweep the back yard (backyard or back yard - either is correct, but pick one!)
worked their way down the trail
continued down the trail to the fen
to head down the fence line until they
(down/down/down.)
across the backyard
, and entered the back yard (same here w/ backyard - back yard. Pick one.)
them again, green eyes turned to his fellows (Think you need 'Green Eyes' here.)
Hope this helps!
Take care,
Sis
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2008
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Hey Sissy!
Look at you! All caught up. My dear, that was a labor of love and it won't be forgotten. I'm spending most of my time in the editing cave and have just finished pasting off your comments.
In the ms, 'green eyes' is in italics...do you think that's good or are caps better? Will check out all your ideas and make fix. Email to follow.
Big hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Gayle, isn't it amazing what some folks are willing to die for? It's about time for Tony and Cricket to get some Russian cuisine, don't you think? A big juicy bite of Russian Butt (aka Boston Butt) would do nicely.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2008
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Gayle, isn't it amazing what some folks are willing to die for? It's about time for Tony and Cricket to get some Russian cuisine, don't you think? A big juicy bite of Russian Butt (aka Boston Butt) would do nicely.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2008
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Hey Jan,
These are sophisticated mutts! They'll have Russian caviar, thank you very much, with a lemondrop martini! Wow, that sounds great, kids. Move over!
Thanks so much for the great comments and your fine review!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Korton
Definitely another great chapter. These Bozos are really going to be in for a real surprise when Tony and Cricket make their presence known. Talk about Fear Factor. Very well done.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2008
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Definitely another great chapter. These Bozos are really going to be in for a real surprise when Tony and Cricket make their presence known. Talk about Fear Factor. Very well done.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2008
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Hey Frank,
So good to see you! I thought you might have missed this one! Glad you liked it, and yes, they're gonna get the surprise of their lives!
Thanks again,
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from bookishfabler
Very good entertaining chapter.
Three more men came through the porch door but these stood motionless in the porch shadows.(do you want porch twice? Maybe leave out the latter)
looking forward to your next one.
hugs
book
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2008
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Very good entertaining chapter.
Three more men came through the porch door but these stood motionless in the porch shadows.(do you want porch twice? Maybe leave out the latter)
looking forward to your next one.
hugs
book
Comment Written 10-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2008
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Hi Heidi,
Y'know, I wanted to differientiate between the porch and the garage. Let me get in there and see if I can fix that.
Thanks for the sharp eyes and your great comments,
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Dave M
Gayle,
This is an excellent chapter. Sounds like Amy and Tony are going to come to the rescue. Also, I had a clear picture of the property's layout. I enjoyed reading this (won't have many chances to read more for a while), and I found one nit and one possible nit:
"At the top, he hit the breaks [brakes] and parked behind the other cruisers."
"We've decided to wait at the bottom of the property and see what the Ruskies do." Should this be "Russkies"?
Dave M
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2008
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Gayle,
This is an excellent chapter. Sounds like Amy and Tony are going to come to the rescue. Also, I had a clear picture of the property's layout. I enjoyed reading this (won't have many chances to read more for a while), and I found one nit and one possible nit:
"At the top, he hit the breaks [brakes] and parked behind the other cruisers."
"We've decided to wait at the bottom of the property and see what the Ruskies do." Should this be "Russkies"?
Dave M
Comment Written 09-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2008
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Can you se me blushing? Dear me, I fixed the brakes! Thanks for the sharp eye and for the great comments.
I take it you're going to be gone for a while. Dangit, there goes your dog! Will you be back soon?
I'll sure miss you,
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Kym Jade
We can see the dogs are going to have to save the day somehow. So looking forward to more, love the way you describe how the dogs are moving.
...steady sweep of the the (1-2 many thes) upper part of...
Love and blessings
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2008
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We can see the dogs are going to have to save the day somehow. So looking forward to more, love the way you describe how the dogs are moving.
...steady sweep of the the (1-2 many thes) upper part of...
Love and blessings
Comment Written 09-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2008
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Metcha Ladies!
Man, I'm freezing to death! I warned you. Last night it went to 59! Man, if it's not one thing it's another! Thanks for the fine comment and the nit. Will fix!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Readywriter52
Andy and Candace have escaped and they are on their way to freedom. Tony and Cricket are tracking the Russians. They make very good canine cops. The one Russian says that Andy must die. Does that mean they don't know he has escaped or do they think they can catch him?
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2008
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Andy and Candace have escaped and they are on their way to freedom. Tony and Cricket are tracking the Russians. They make very good canine cops. The one Russian says that Andy must die. Does that mean they don't know he has escaped or do they think they can catch him?
Comment Written 08-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2008
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Hi RW,
Yes, the Russians think they can get Andy again. They've been watching the front of the house where the cops are and they know Andy and Candace are still on the property!
Thanks for the fine comments and your review!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from butterflykiss
How exciting, to read how two dogs are working together. This has been a good reading book, I liked the characters, the story line, with all kinds of mysteries. Thanks for sharing.
Butterflykiss
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2008
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How exciting, to read how two dogs are working together. This has been a good reading book, I liked the characters, the story line, with all kinds of mysteries. Thanks for sharing.
Butterflykiss
Comment Written 08-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2008
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Hi Jane,
So good to see you back again. Thanks so much for the kind comments. It means so much to me that you're enjoying!
Hugs,
Gayle
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Hello Gayle,
You're welcome. When this is finished are you going to share another book.
Butterflykiss
