Passersby
How often do we not see anyone but ourselves?152 total reviews
Comment from electroswiftword
Yes Pearl this does parrallel Lonely Hands. I really liked the "Strangers sharing one moment in time" but not really sharing though. I like the way you express your thoughts. Not forced or fabricated. Will
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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Yes Pearl this does parrallel Lonely Hands. I really liked the "Strangers sharing one moment in time" but not really sharing though. I like the way you express your thoughts. Not forced or fabricated. Will
Comment Written 20-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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Will, thank you - we were really thinking along very similar lines! Brooke
Comment from madrigalpoet
***Rating changed!***
Guilty as charged. I am terrible about this, actually. My world is so messed up it's hard to think about others' problems and dreams. But, you have just opened my eyes to what I've been doing. Thank you for that. You are a very inspirational writer.
I was wondering why you paused at two lines for your final verse. I kindof expected another couple lines. At any rate, very good work. When you can inspire your reader, you have done an excellent job.
Take care,
Crissy
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2008
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***Rating changed!***
Guilty as charged. I am terrible about this, actually. My world is so messed up it's hard to think about others' problems and dreams. But, you have just opened my eyes to what I've been doing. Thank you for that. You are a very inspirational writer.
I was wondering why you paused at two lines for your final verse. I kindof expected another couple lines. At any rate, very good work. When you can inspire your reader, you have done an excellent job.
Take care,
Crissy
Comment Written 01-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2008
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This is a 14 line sonnet - three quatrains followed by a couplet. Sorry if the last couple of lines didn't convey the sense of being a conclusion so that they left you waiting for more. Is that the reason for the 4? thank you again for reviewing.
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Ah, yes. That was the reason for the four. I will go back and change that! I'm really not a good study of formed poetry. (Shame on me!) Quick question...do you have a portfolio on writing.com? Someone there is called "Dewaholic." Just wondered!
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nope - no portfolio anywhere else :-) thanks for being so thoughtful to change the rating!
Peace, Brooke
Comment from dkneale
I really enjoyed reading this piece...and I agree we've all done it...I just hope that people take time to watch and listen to those starngers...as they are all special people...
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2008
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I really enjoyed reading this piece...and I agree we've all done it...I just hope that people take time to watch and listen to those starngers...as they are all special people...
Comment Written 27-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2008
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thank you so much for this most kind review :-)
Comment from BillBologna
Indeed we have all done it. And the sad part, is we will do it again today. I will try and not. Good poem, nice work and a good message.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2008
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Indeed we have all done it. And the sad part, is we will do it again today. I will try and not. Good poem, nice work and a good message.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2008
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You are most honest and most thoughtful. Thank you for this meaningful review!
Comment from Perpetua
A wonderful poem about, as you say, something we've all done. I especially like the first line:
"We are passersby in each other's lives". A great image.
I also like the idea of our being "bit players" in each other's films. The only line that kind of tripped me up was "we choose to ignore as intrusion instead." I'm wondering if something like this might give a bit more flow: [With no wish to listen to what we've heard,]
"we ignore it all as intrusion instead" (or something like that). Just something to think about. I think it's a great poem. Thanks for sharing it.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2008
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A wonderful poem about, as you say, something we've all done. I especially like the first line:
"We are passersby in each other's lives". A great image.
I also like the idea of our being "bit players" in each other's films. The only line that kind of tripped me up was "we choose to ignore as intrusion instead." I'm wondering if something like this might give a bit more flow: [With no wish to listen to what we've heard,]
"we ignore it all as intrusion instead" (or something like that). Just something to think about. I think it's a great poem. Thanks for sharing it.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2008
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thanks for your positive review and your suggestion - you're not the first to be tripped up by that line!
Comment from grassroots08
My wife was commenting just the other night that we all seem to be passing through this world without involvement much in any one else's life. We are living separate lives as we pass silently by one another. So very true.
But I am an extrovert and I get in everyone's face, especially children. They are the best . I interact all the time with them, and add myself to their world, kids know who I am, at a glance. They sometimes watch for me or seek me out. Your piece really speaks to our world of silence all around us. Don
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2008
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My wife was commenting just the other night that we all seem to be passing through this world without involvement much in any one else's life. We are living separate lives as we pass silently by one another. So very true.
But I am an extrovert and I get in everyone's face, especially children. They are the best . I interact all the time with them, and add myself to their world, kids know who I am, at a glance. They sometimes watch for me or seek me out. Your piece really speaks to our world of silence all around us. Don
Comment Written 27-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2008
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When my kids were younger, I think I sometimes embarrassed them by talking to people in grocery lines, etc - now I think they find my chattiness endearing. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences and for the kind review! Peace, Brooke
Comment from eveeator
your choice of artwork works so well with this piece - which just flows and yet stops you in the reading and makes you think, how true and how often we do this, a quick chat and walk on and its forgotten, we are caught up in our own worlds and forget to come out and see what other people are facing in theirs or if we do we soon get wrapped up in ours again, nice work
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2008
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your choice of artwork works so well with this piece - which just flows and yet stops you in the reading and makes you think, how true and how often we do this, a quick chat and walk on and its forgotten, we are caught up in our own worlds and forget to come out and see what other people are facing in theirs or if we do we soon get wrapped up in ours again, nice work
Comment Written 27-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2008
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thank you so much for your most thoughtful and philosophical review :-)
Comment from dreaming
I think we have all done this and quite a bit too. I know that I just love my own company and feel bothered when others interrupt or cause me to have to mingle mingle, listen listen. But I do it and then I rush back to myself my dreams, my concerns. I don't have the problem of using others very much, but most people use me I feel, as soon as I say I can do something...will you, can you...which is annoying. We need to be reminded by you and others like you that people are all in need, all have bad days and all have hearts that beat to their own drum. Good observation.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2008
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I think we have all done this and quite a bit too. I know that I just love my own company and feel bothered when others interrupt or cause me to have to mingle mingle, listen listen. But I do it and then I rush back to myself my dreams, my concerns. I don't have the problem of using others very much, but most people use me I feel, as soon as I say I can do something...will you, can you...which is annoying. We need to be reminded by you and others like you that people are all in need, all have bad days and all have hearts that beat to their own drum. Good observation.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2008
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This is a most philosophical and thoughtful review. I appreciate your comments and your review very much. Peace, Brooke :-)
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My pleasure Brooke
Comment from Sissy Holly Grace
A very true statement. We all lead our own private lives and sometimes I do think what others do. This was a most interesting poem on the habits of every one of us.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2008
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A very true statement. We all lead our own private lives and sometimes I do think what others do. This was a most interesting poem on the habits of every one of us.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2008
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thank you so much for this thoughtful review!! :-)
Comment from Rosy O'Grey
Hello, again, Pearl.
You have been busy writing lately.
I have been busy doing reviews and thinking about writing, but not doing much. I congratulate you on being so prolific and talented.
Your poem prokes me to contemplate on the topic. This is good. You paint images well with your words.
The visual presentation is good here, save for the lack of space at the bottom, again.
I really like your poem. It is a powerful reflection of life midst a crowd, yet feeling alone.
I have considered this very factor of our existence here in the lower world of creation often. Nice to see someone else sees this, too.
Keep writing.
Rosy
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2008
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Hello, again, Pearl.
You have been busy writing lately.
I have been busy doing reviews and thinking about writing, but not doing much. I congratulate you on being so prolific and talented.
Your poem prokes me to contemplate on the topic. This is good. You paint images well with your words.
The visual presentation is good here, save for the lack of space at the bottom, again.
I really like your poem. It is a powerful reflection of life midst a crowd, yet feeling alone.
I have considered this very factor of our existence here in the lower world of creation often. Nice to see someone else sees this, too.
Keep writing.
Rosy
Comment Written 27-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2008
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thank you so very much - you are most kind - some of my poems are from the past couple years - not all written in the past three weeks :-)
