Longings
Reflections on those who are harder to love.101 total reviews
Comment from authorauthor
the sentiment is amazing in this..and the words address itso well...and yes, I beleieve everyone is lovable..we are here to love and be loved...each and every one of us
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2008
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the sentiment is amazing in this..and the words address itso well...and yes, I beleieve everyone is lovable..we are here to love and be loved...each and every one of us
Comment Written 21-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2008
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you sound like a compassionate person, and I thank you for a thoughtful review!
Comment from Hurricane Dean
Well, certainly those are good intentions. I have found myself, throughout my life, with people who have closed their hearts to the world. It is very sad. All we can do is give them some reason to hope. This is another beautiful poem from you. Nicely done. Take care, Dean
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2008
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Well, certainly those are good intentions. I have found myself, throughout my life, with people who have closed their hearts to the world. It is very sad. All we can do is give them some reason to hope. This is another beautiful poem from you. Nicely done. Take care, Dean
Comment Written 21-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2008
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Thanks for being thoughtful in your comments :-)
Comment from kassey
Your intentions are admirable, I wish I had your stregth of character to enable myself to act like this to others who are not friendly. maybe I should try a little harder. your rhyme and rhythm were perfecr Excellent Kay
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2008
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Your intentions are admirable, I wish I had your stregth of character to enable myself to act like this to others who are not friendly. maybe I should try a little harder. your rhyme and rhythm were perfecr Excellent Kay
Comment Written 21-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2008
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Nobody, including me, is always successful at this, but I do try. My mother-in- law, or ex mother in law, died last year - I had known her for close to 40 years, and while I tried my hardest for many years to get past her nastiness and coldness, I never broke through and did stop trying once it was clear to me she was going to be that way to her grandchildren too. But I tried at first and for quite a while, and that is all anyone can expect of themselves. Thanks for a lovely review, as always. :-)
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Very well written who knows what makes some people like this it could be something what happened in the past making them a little weary well done I enjoyed you have expressed yourself well regards Fuller
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2008
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Very well written who knows what makes some people like this it could be something what happened in the past making them a little weary well done I enjoyed you have expressed yourself well regards Fuller
Comment Written 21-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2008
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thank you so much for a thoughtful review :-)
Comment from Wendyanne
HI Pearl This is quite an interesting and thought-provoking soonet although I did find the repetition of heart 5 times a little repetitive but I don't know how you can avoid that. We do try to avoid repetition in poetry if possible. You have certainly managed to express your thoughts and feelings well.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2008
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HI Pearl This is quite an interesting and thought-provoking soonet although I did find the repetition of heart 5 times a little repetitive but I don't know how you can avoid that. We do try to avoid repetition in poetry if possible. You have certainly managed to express your thoughts and feelings well.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2008
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Thank you for your warm review. I'll have to look at the first couple of instances where I use heart to see if there's anything I could do because I quite deliberately repeat it in the final line and would not want to change that part at all. I appreciate your kind words and suggestions. Peace, Brooke
Comment from Poeticat
Hello, Brooke!
Sorry, no blinders! (smile!)
you know that with your ababcdcdefefgg rhyme scheme, you've written a sonnet, don't you?
Except, of course, a sonnet is written in iambic pentameter... So here's a suggested rewrite for you;
(Out of artistic respect, I tried to change as little as possible!)
Longings
In the coldest heart lives a yearning place,
one that is never completely withdrawn.
Sorrows can mount till our hope can't keep pace,
but our deepest longings will still live on.
We long to be loved; we need to belong,
We need to be caught if we fall from grace.
We all cry for justice when we've been wronged,
And we pray for lives that don't go to waste.
The coldest of hearts once beat in a child -
Before his childhood's gentle dreams were dashed.
How can anyone watch his dreams exiled
And still have his childhood's innocence last?
So if I encounter a heart grown cold,
Then may I with my heart that heart enfold.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2008
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Hello, Brooke!
Sorry, no blinders! (smile!)
you know that with your ababcdcdefefgg rhyme scheme, you've written a sonnet, don't you?
Except, of course, a sonnet is written in iambic pentameter... So here's a suggested rewrite for you;
(Out of artistic respect, I tried to change as little as possible!)
Longings
In the coldest heart lives a yearning place,
one that is never completely withdrawn.
Sorrows can mount till our hope can't keep pace,
but our deepest longings will still live on.
We long to be loved; we need to belong,
We need to be caught if we fall from grace.
We all cry for justice when we've been wronged,
And we pray for lives that don't go to waste.
The coldest of hearts once beat in a child -
Before his childhood's gentle dreams were dashed.
How can anyone watch his dreams exiled
And still have his childhood's innocence last?
So if I encounter a heart grown cold,
Then may I with my heart that heart enfold.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2008
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I'm sorry you did not like the poem without iambic pentameter. I didn't realize I had to write in it or that if I chose a certain rhyme scheme that dictated the meter that had to go with it. Guess somebody forgot to give me the rulebook.
Comment from davidray
You are so right. Something must have happened somewhere down the line to this person to make them carry such a down expression on their face. I enjoyed this one: makes one think with their grey matter.
Thanks for sharing. Great work.
David :)
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2008
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You are so right. Something must have happened somewhere down the line to this person to make them carry such a down expression on their face. I enjoyed this one: makes one think with their grey matter.
Thanks for sharing. Great work.
David :)
Comment Written 21-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2008
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I love to hear my poem made someone think as I love poems that make me think. Thank you! :-)
Comment from FrankieT
What a wonderful plea! This says so much n al the verses with great desciptive phrases giving this some clear imagery.
bueno. :o)
Frankie T;
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2008
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What a wonderful plea! This says so much n al the verses with great desciptive phrases giving this some clear imagery.
bueno. :o)
Frankie T;
Comment Written 21-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2008
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Thank you so very much. I am so glad you got meaning from my poem.
Comment from lsee
I am with you on this one, totally! Some are not 'easy' to love, but that just should make us more determined to let love be shown and just perhaps, we in some way, will began the healing that these precious individuals need. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2008
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I am with you on this one, totally! Some are not 'easy' to love, but that just should make us more determined to let love be shown and just perhaps, we in some way, will began the healing that these precious individuals need. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2008
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You sound like a compassionate person - thank you for this warm review :-)
Comment from kiwirose
It is sad but it is so beautiful to understand what's means this poem as it flows very clear.
Yes, true I had seen the children like that where I worked as language assistant for deaf class for 3 years like your poem.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2008
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It is sad but it is so beautiful to understand what's means this poem as it flows very clear.
Yes, true I had seen the children like that where I worked as language assistant for deaf class for 3 years like your poem.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2008
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you sound like a compassionate person - thank you so much for your review :-)
