Stalker
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Almost There"Jim and Lenny are hired to find a stalker
13 total reviews
Comment from Sissy
Hi Gayle!
Hope everything is going well! I think I've missed a couple of chapters in between here, will have to go and check back. My PM box is eliminating posts, I'm so far behind!
This was a good chapter. I'm always behind on computer technology - sometimes my alarm clock is too complicated for me!! Figures Andy would find a way to trick his captives and get in contact w/ Jim.
Just a few things to check out:
tapped it against
tapped the blinker
(double 'tapped', very close together. Adjust one.)
a scarf from the back seat
(backseat - 1 word/dictionary.com)
She drew in a deep breath, as though storing the aroma in her lungs, there to be remembered (The 'there to be remembered' read awkwardly to me at the end of this sentence. Consider kicking.)
That's it!
Take care,
Sissy
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reply by the author on 22-Oct-2008
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Hi Gayle!
Hope everything is going well! I think I've missed a couple of chapters in between here, will have to go and check back. My PM box is eliminating posts, I'm so far behind!
This was a good chapter. I'm always behind on computer technology - sometimes my alarm clock is too complicated for me!! Figures Andy would find a way to trick his captives and get in contact w/ Jim.
Just a few things to check out:
tapped it against
tapped the blinker
(double 'tapped', very close together. Adjust one.)
a scarf from the back seat
(backseat - 1 word/dictionary.com)
She drew in a deep breath, as though storing the aroma in her lungs, there to be remembered (The 'there to be remembered' read awkwardly to me at the end of this sentence. Consider kicking.)
That's it!
Take care,
Sissy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2008
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Holy Cow, Sissy!
I thought for sure the gypsies got ya! So good to see you. Did you have a wonderful season? Do tell!
I'll check over and make those edits...great eye. I thought backseat was one word, too, but my 'puter kicked up a fuss. But then again, he's dumb as a post!
So good to see you again and I'm positively flattered that you picked me to read out of all those pm's!
Huggers
Gayle
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Gayle, sorry I've fallen behind again. I'm going to try to catch up this weekend. I love how computers can do all these neat things I don't know how to do with mine.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2008
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Gayle, sorry I've fallen behind again. I'm going to try to catch up this weekend. I love how computers can do all these neat things I don't know how to do with mine.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2008
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Hey Jan,
So good to see you and yes, it's amazing what the little dudes can do. Thanks for stopping by and for the great comments.
Hugs
Gayle
Comment from Stephy Jemmisparks
wow, we are getting close. i wonder who is behind... oh no...maybe they could have tried to drunk t5he captors or something...thats was so dangerous.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2008
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wow, we are getting close. i wonder who is behind... oh no...maybe they could have tried to drunk t5he captors or something...thats was so dangerous.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2008
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Hi Stephy,
Getting wild here, huh? I'm having fun doing this and the characters are taking over the keyboard!
Thanks so much for the great comments.
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Allezw2
Lady Gayle,
Back in the saddle again, fer shure!
You don't have to be paranoid to be concerned about foreign activity inthsi country.
How many remember that Misubishi was heavily fined for its industrial espionage against IBM in the seventies and eighties?
More recently, the spate of Russian spies in the CIA and FBI were laughed off by the Russians saying that it would not affect US and Russian foreign relations since all countries engaged in these activities.
Then there is the Jonathon Pollard Affair.
Nicely written with the off-beat addition of the K9 Corps, too.
Wayne
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2008
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Lady Gayle,
Back in the saddle again, fer shure!
You don't have to be paranoid to be concerned about foreign activity inthsi country.
How many remember that Misubishi was heavily fined for its industrial espionage against IBM in the seventies and eighties?
More recently, the spate of Russian spies in the CIA and FBI were laughed off by the Russians saying that it would not affect US and Russian foreign relations since all countries engaged in these activities.
Then there is the Jonathon Pollard Affair.
Nicely written with the off-beat addition of the K9 Corps, too.
Wayne
Comment Written 17-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2008
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Hey Wayne,
Glad you liked this one and you're so right about spying. We don't know the half of it, do we? Thanks so much,
Hugs,
Gayle
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You're welcome.
Comment from bookishfabler
This was a nice fast-paced chapter. i have one question though. If they are monitoring everything he is doing, how is he contacting Sessions? I would think they would see that. Just wondering.
hugs
book
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2008
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This was a nice fast-paced chapter. i have one question though. If they are monitoring everything he is doing, how is he contacting Sessions? I would think they would see that. Just wondering.
hugs
book
Comment Written 14-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2008
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Hey Heidi,
I had to figure out a way to do that. With a laptop they have this little dude you stick in, and you can get the net. What Andy did is he disconnected and made them think he was working offline. Then he sent a text message to Jim's cell. Jim has his laptop in the SUV, so he and Lenny went back and talked with Andy via computers.
Ah, all these newfangled devices. I had no idea you could do that, but I checked and that's how! LOL!
How're you doing in this horrible storm? Hope all is well!
Hugs and big thanks,
Gayle
Comment from Kym Jade
Dan was a fool to think they would let him live. I really hope Andy is clever enough not to get caught talking to Jim. So Cricket wasn't needed to track after all. This story is really hotting up to a final showdown.
Love and blessings
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2008
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Dan was a fool to think they would let him live. I really hope Andy is clever enough not to get caught talking to Jim. So Cricket wasn't needed to track after all. This story is really hotting up to a final showdown.
Love and blessings
Comment Written 13-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2008
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Metcha Ladies,
Well, Cricket has other talents, as well, so the doggies will get into the act. So glad you liked that one. Thanks for the great comments!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Domino
Hi, Gayle.
"Oh, there's more. Last night, one Dan Knoff met his demise' - though he might. Very smooth psesentation of the update.
'Andy threw his pencil at the man, face red.-?maybe 'Andy, his face red, threw---'
'The man took two steps across the room, fists clenched, ready to fight.-?up for a fight'
'as perspiration bathed him. ' - not sure about that phrase!
'Andy closed that screen and popped up another [?comma] full of math problems and symbols [?comma] and turned to Candace'
Another goody, Gayle. Looks loke you've everything worked out. All tying together nicely. Great stuff. Ray xx
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2008
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Hi, Gayle.
"Oh, there's more. Last night, one Dan Knoff met his demise' - though he might. Very smooth psesentation of the update.
'Andy threw his pencil at the man, face red.-?maybe 'Andy, his face red, threw---'
'The man took two steps across the room, fists clenched, ready to fight.-?up for a fight'
'as perspiration bathed him. ' - not sure about that phrase!
'Andy closed that screen and popped up another [?comma] full of math problems and symbols [?comma] and turned to Candace'
Another goody, Gayle. Looks loke you've everything worked out. All tying together nicely. Great stuff. Ray xx
Comment Written 13-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2008
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Hey Ray,
How's trix, good buddy? I love the new picture in your port. I always think it makes life easier if you know what your friends look like!
Thanks for the great editing ideas and your comments!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Merry Peace
Hi
it is interesting.....love passions exposed by the characters is naturl ....characteriasation is strong ......I like it ....I like your tsyle ..... It is very good .......and connected with the previous one......as a whole it is powerful story in this chapter.....excellent
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2008
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Hi
it is interesting.....love passions exposed by the characters is naturl ....characteriasation is strong ......I like it ....I like your tsyle ..... It is very good .......and connected with the previous one......as a whole it is powerful story in this chapter.....excellent
Comment Written 13-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2008
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Hi Rifa,
Thank you for stopping by to read and comment on this chapter. I'm glad you liked it and hope to see you again soon.
Gayle
Comment from Readywriter52
It looks like Jim and Lenny are closer to finding Andy and Candace. They know that Dan Knoff is a traitor and they might be in his cabin. That was good the way Andy went on the attack. Is Jim and Lenny in contact with Andy. The end is a little confusing.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2008
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It looks like Jim and Lenny are closer to finding Andy and Candace. They know that Dan Knoff is a traitor and they might be in his cabin. That was good the way Andy went on the attack. Is Jim and Lenny in contact with Andy. The end is a little confusing.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2008
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Hi RW!
Good comments and thanks so much for reading along. Yes, Andy contacted Jim on his cell with a text message to contact him at his computer's IM address. They sent IM's back and forth,
Comment from c_lucas
Hi Gayle, a very well written supense filled chapter that has a very smooth read. It has good imagery and descriptive scheme. It looks like the calvery is about to make its appearance.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2008
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Hi Gayle, a very well written supense filled chapter that has a very smooth read. It has good imagery and descriptive scheme. It looks like the calvery is about to make its appearance.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2008
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Hey Charlie,
Looks like help is just around the corner. Now we just have to figure how to get them out alive! Thanks so much for your great comments. I really appreciate them.
Hugs,
Gayle
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Looking forward to your next posting. Charlie
