Stalker
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Making Plans"Jim and Lenny are hired to find a stalker
19 total reviews
Comment from sharon fallis
Sometimes, it seems like the Russians are dumb. They didn't even search them and find his palm pilot. You're going to have to get busy writing, because I'm getting close to catching up with you. Good story, lady. Good story. Sharon
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2008
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Sometimes, it seems like the Russians are dumb. They didn't even search them and find his palm pilot. You're going to have to get busy writing, because I'm getting close to catching up with you. Good story, lady. Good story. Sharon
Comment Written 09-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2008
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Hey Sharon,
Well, they took his cell phone but Palm Pilots are like notebooks. They don't go anywhere, they're kinda like typewriters, tiny ones. Now, the Blackberry's are the ones that you can text with. Gosh, all these new-fangled gadgets one has to learn about! Sheesh!
Hugs and love,
Gayle
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
It's such a pleasure to read
such a well written piece of
work, with correct spelling
and punctuation.
A real treat -
Regards,
Margaret.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2008
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It's such a pleasure to read
such a well written piece of
work, with correct spelling
and punctuation.
A real treat -
Regards,
Margaret.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2008
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Hi Margaret,
Thanks so much for the great R&R. I appreciate the high praise and thank you so much!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Sylvia Page
Two is better than one. The Ruskies never intended to release Candace. Lucky for them he found a screw driver and steak knife. Can't wait to read how he will use these tools.
Good progress Gayle.
Sylvia
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2008
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Two is better than one. The Ruskies never intended to release Candace. Lucky for them he found a screw driver and steak knife. Can't wait to read how he will use these tools.
Good progress Gayle.
Sylvia
Comment Written 05-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2008
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Hey Sylvia!
We're going to reprise McGuyver, remember him? Could put a plane back together with baling wire and masking tape. And of course, we have the doggie contingent making plans as well. Hold onto your hat!
Hugs and so many thanks to you dear, you are so appreciated.
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Kym Jade
Somehow I don't think it will be that easy to get away. I also doubt he will be able to communicate through the computer either. Hope the dogs can lead our heroes from the cabin.
Love and blessings
We got the postcards today thank you.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2008
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Somehow I don't think it will be that easy to get away. I also doubt he will be able to communicate through the computer either. Hope the dogs can lead our heroes from the cabin.
Love and blessings
We got the postcards today thank you.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2008
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Hey Ladies,
No, not all that easy, but help in the form of our intrepid heros, two and four-legged alike, might even up the odds!
Thanks so much, and glad the cards arrived,
Love you,
Gayle
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
they must have watched McGuyver a time or two when home together. Gayle, I've never thought there could ever be a good reason for wearing pointed toe shoes, but you've just changed my mind.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2008
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they must have watched McGuyver a time or two when home together. Gayle, I've never thought there could ever be a good reason for wearing pointed toe shoes, but you've just changed my mind.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2008
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LOL, Jan, that's exactly what Jeff said. Now, if they can just find some masking tape....
Thanks so much for the comments and the grins they caused!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Dave M
Gayle,
If those kidnappers know anything, they've disconnected Andy's computer from the internet. Also, how did they ever let Andy keep his Palm Pilot?
This is an excellent chapter. You do a really good job of maintaining two simultaneous conversations, overt and covert. I found no nits but have one suggestion:
"They want a formula I'm working on that would make cold fusion a reliable source of energy at a fraction of the cost of oil or natural gas with little emissions." This sentence is something of a jawbreaker. I'd split it into two or three, as perhaps, ""They want a formula I'm working on. It would make cold fusion a reliable source of energy(,) at a fraction of the cost of oil or natural gas and with few emissions."
Dave M
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2008
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Gayle,
If those kidnappers know anything, they've disconnected Andy's computer from the internet. Also, how did they ever let Andy keep his Palm Pilot?
This is an excellent chapter. You do a really good job of maintaining two simultaneous conversations, overt and covert. I found no nits but have one suggestion:
"They want a formula I'm working on that would make cold fusion a reliable source of energy at a fraction of the cost of oil or natural gas with little emissions." This sentence is something of a jawbreaker. I'd split it into two or three, as perhaps, ""They want a formula I'm working on. It would make cold fusion a reliable source of energy(,) at a fraction of the cost of oil or natural gas and with few emissions."
Dave M
Comment Written 03-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2008
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Hey Dave,
I hope you know, his Palm Pilot is just a thing he takes notes on, right, just talks into, like a recording machine, but it doesn't go anywhere, does it? Like a notepad? That's what I thought it was. I man need clarification for the final edit.
As for the 'net' you will love this one! Thanks and big hugs, buddy!
Gayle
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Gayle,
Sometimes, all the new gadgets confuse me. Guess I'm getting old and set in my ways. Ten years ago, there were still educated men, civilians working for the US Navy, who knew nothing about computers and the internet. I had to train one of them as part of my job.
As for what you've got in store, I am waiting...
Dave
Comment from Allezw2
Lady Gayle,
So now, the plotted against are marshalling their force and are plottingon their own.
Interesting catch up!
Wayne
For your consideration:
- into the [windowsill][window sill] [with cement][set into the concrete of the window sills.].
Cement is the fired limestone used to [cement] aggregate into concrete
- They don't want us to trump them [and again][again, and] minimize their world position [again]."
Might I suggest that you use braces and brackets for differentiation of their text messaging?
No psssibility of visual surveillance as well?
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2008
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Lady Gayle,
So now, the plotted against are marshalling their force and are plottingon their own.
Interesting catch up!
Wayne
For your consideration:
- into the [windowsill][window sill] [with cement][set into the concrete of the window sills.].
Cement is the fired limestone used to [cement] aggregate into concrete
- They don't want us to trump them [and again][again, and] minimize their world position [again]."
Might I suggest that you use braces and brackets for differentiation of their text messaging?
No psssibility of visual surveillance as well?
Comment Written 03-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2008
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Hey Wayne,
You'll love how I do the ms. All the sentences they write are in italics, so it's much clearer. I'll check both edit ideas and thanks, dear friend. Always love your reviews,
Gayle
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Flattery will get you ... everything!
Comment from davidray
Hi Gayle,
I think in this case, your writin gis stillwonderful, but I find you pushing it .. or trying too hard to be cute. I will use the line my tutor used to tell me: Keep it simple.
Take this for example: She nodded, leading the way to the kitchen, arm in arm, whispering. (Read this over and see what you can come up with. I konw you can make this smoother, my dear.)
Overall, top-notch quality, but just a few jagged edges sprinkled throughout. Tell me what you think.
A couple things for your consideration, please:
-He approached Andy, bright green eyes wide, staring (you mentioned those same green eyes staring just a couple sentences earlier.)
-Andy matched the stare. (a lot of staring going on here, Gayle.)
-Andy matched the stare. (the exact same words as above. Sounds like a song: you've h eard of the words 'A whole lot of shaking going on'. Well, you have your own version: a whole lot of staring going on! I'd do something about this.)
-the green-eyed man beckoned with a toss of his head. (This green-eyed bugger again. Sheesh, you're stuck on the eyes today! Your hubby got green eyes or somethin'? (just teasing ya, doll))
-and thanks to a glass framed picture (glass-framed)
-Candace grabbed his face in both hands and gave him a resounding kiss.
"You're my hero." (format)
-and nodded, then glanced at the other room. Nodding once, he turned away. (If he nodded only once, say it the first time so we don't have to reasd about it again. Unless, of course, it is relevant to the story, which I don't reckon it is.)
I'm cheering you on, girlfriend!!
you go girl.
Always,
David xx
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2008
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Hi Gayle,
I think in this case, your writin gis stillwonderful, but I find you pushing it .. or trying too hard to be cute. I will use the line my tutor used to tell me: Keep it simple.
Take this for example: She nodded, leading the way to the kitchen, arm in arm, whispering. (Read this over and see what you can come up with. I konw you can make this smoother, my dear.)
Overall, top-notch quality, but just a few jagged edges sprinkled throughout. Tell me what you think.
A couple things for your consideration, please:
-He approached Andy, bright green eyes wide, staring (you mentioned those same green eyes staring just a couple sentences earlier.)
-Andy matched the stare. (a lot of staring going on here, Gayle.)
-Andy matched the stare. (the exact same words as above. Sounds like a song: you've h eard of the words 'A whole lot of shaking going on'. Well, you have your own version: a whole lot of staring going on! I'd do something about this.)
-the green-eyed man beckoned with a toss of his head. (This green-eyed bugger again. Sheesh, you're stuck on the eyes today! Your hubby got green eyes or somethin'? (just teasing ya, doll))
-and thanks to a glass framed picture (glass-framed)
-Candace grabbed his face in both hands and gave him a resounding kiss.
"You're my hero." (format)
-and nodded, then glanced at the other room. Nodding once, he turned away. (If he nodded only once, say it the first time so we don't have to reasd about it again. Unless, of course, it is relevant to the story, which I don't reckon it is.)
I'm cheering you on, girlfriend!!
you go girl.
Always,
David xx
Comment Written 03-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2008
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Hey David,
I took out all but one 'green' reference. It's significant, but man, talk about overkill. I will also go over your suggestions and make use..too much nodding and staring. Thank you, dear one, for the great editing ideas and your support!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from butterflykiss
Oh Boy a screwdriver a way out? Don't tell me the Russians forgot to take his cell phone away, or there was no need because there was no signal there? This is good as always, enjoying it very much.
Butterflykiss
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2008
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Oh Boy a screwdriver a way out? Don't tell me the Russians forgot to take his cell phone away, or there was no need because there was no signal there? This is good as always, enjoying it very much.
Butterflykiss
Comment Written 03-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2008
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Hey Jane,
Well, he has a couple of ideas that I hope work out! Thanks so much for the R&R and your super comments. Now, that Palm Pilot isn't a cell. They took his cell, but he still has his laptop!
Hugs,
Gayle
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Hello,
I can barely work a computer don't own a palm pilot, don't know how they work, so thanks for explaning.
Butterflykiss
Comment from bookishfabler
A couple of suggestions. Maybe a little more excitement at seeing Andy. AFter she asks about their daughter's safty, maybe haave her more eagar to find out how this happened. I think she doesn't even know what her husband does. Like in True Lies. Freak her out a bit more. SHe seems a little to tough and this is so routine for her. I now I would be freaked out. That's just my opinion.
hugs
book
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2008
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A couple of suggestions. Maybe a little more excitement at seeing Andy. AFter she asks about their daughter's safty, maybe haave her more eagar to find out how this happened. I think she doesn't even know what her husband does. Like in True Lies. Freak her out a bit more. SHe seems a little to tough and this is so routine for her. I now I would be freaked out. That's just my opinion.
hugs
book
Comment Written 03-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2008
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Hey Heidi,
Well, I'll soften her up a little, but she's a strong little cuss, remember, horse trainer. But yes, I'll slip a little more in there. She's learned a lot and wants to bring Andy up to speed.
Thanks so much for the editing ideas and your great comments,
Hugs,
Gayle
