Loss Of That Love
Whether literally or figuratively.12 total reviews
Comment from Twomoon
Mike, this is just lovely..the influences that cause one to create magic!! when the heart hurts, it begins to understand..and bleeds compassion...twomoon, 2008 smile..I enjoyed your heart in this one, nicely done and the art wonderful..much love twomoon
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2008
  |
Mike, this is just lovely..the influences that cause one to create magic!! when the heart hurts, it begins to understand..and bleeds compassion...twomoon, 2008 smile..I enjoyed your heart in this one, nicely done and the art wonderful..much love twomoon
Comment Written 09-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2008
-
When we wallow in a loss, whether it be a love or a life; I believe it is time to ask ourselves why and to really appreciate the gift's they have left behind for us. Thank you very much for your lovely compliments and this review. No smile in 2008, but think of me smiling always. That is how I want to be.
Much love, Mike!
-
what no smile in 2008..why not?? sad eyes..hugs twomoon
-
I always smile, I I don't... I'm just saving it for a big ear to ear one.
snicker, snicker...
Comment from milushka
This is so true, dear knight; there is always someone left, out of hundreds, whose impression is deeply carved into our hearts.
I am still searching for the silver lining, you, forever optimist.
Love,
Mila
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
|
This is so true, dear knight; there is always someone left, out of hundreds, whose impression is deeply carved into our hearts.
I am still searching for the silver lining, you, forever optimist.
Love,
Mila
Comment Written 02-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
-
Me? No not really, the less I ask for the more I see that is less. But I at least try to hold one what is dear to me. The silverlining is what the other person makes of it so, your safe. lol But the clouds are closing in as I don't know what I should preceive as genuine or is BS. It makes me fearful to post, I can't be myself anymore...
Mila, you have a great day and I hope you see a that glimmer of silver anyway.
Love, ahh for the love of it, Mike
Comment from nora arjuna
Just a suggestion for re-arrangement of the phrases:
for in the heart that loved,
one's memory will always last.
I don't know. It reads better to me that way. Otherwise this is simply great. Yes I read that piece from Pupa and Martin.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2008
|
Just a suggestion for re-arrangement of the phrases:
for in the heart that loved,
one's memory will always last.
I don't know. It reads better to me that way. Otherwise this is simply great. Yes I read that piece from Pupa and Martin.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2008
-
To be honest, I wasn't comfortable with your change, but I did see the need to change it so I did this.
It matters not the years that pass;
for in the heart, that loved one's
memory will always last.
The coma placement has been a pesky problem.
Thank you very much for this review. Mike
-
ah, yes. I see it now. Comma placement can affect the meaning. I agree.
Comment from mtngalofnc
Hi Mike,
Yes, we always remember those we loved and this is a simple but eloquent poem which reflects so well these thoughts. Your rhyme and flow are very good and your meaning clear. The whole poem is beautiful. Thank you for sharing this and God bless and best wishes!
mtngalofnc
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2008
|
Hi Mike,
Yes, we always remember those we loved and this is a simple but eloquent poem which reflects so well these thoughts. Your rhyme and flow are very good and your meaning clear. The whole poem is beautiful. Thank you for sharing this and God bless and best wishes!
mtngalofnc
Comment Written 29-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2008
-
I am going to figure out a way to submitt this to greeting card companies. I think I will scare up some consideration, by going the legal route with cc. and name all of the companies. That might at least get it to the editor.
One problem I find with condolence cards is hard to find one that has inspirational words about how the person lost affected one's life. Those two poems inspired me, yet I felt that loss not only reflects in death so I engineered it for lost loved one's in general.
Thank you so much for your compliments and this review.
With love, Mike
Comment from justmade
Hello my friend I like the image, shows you were having fun.
I like the poems for its positivity especially at the end part.
The humor was very powerful in my opinion.
Regards,
Justmade.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2008
|
Hello my friend I like the image, shows you were having fun.
I like the poems for its positivity especially at the end part.
The humor was very powerful in my opinion.
Regards,
Justmade.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2008
-
If you have been there, one knows about the storm clouds of a loss. I just wanted to have a way to express that there is still a little joy the person leaves behind Thank you for your compliments and review. Mike
Comment from fayesh
I thought the sentiment and the metaphors were nice. However, two adverbs used made the reading kind of rough - "unaccommodatingly" and "positively". These words did not allow your poem to flow smoothly.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
 |
I thought the sentiment and the metaphors were nice. However, two adverbs used made the reading kind of rough - "unaccommodatingly" and "positively". These words did not allow your poem to flow smoothly.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
-
I found noting wrong with unaccommodatingly, but did eleminate positively and changed some of the structure. You should feel free to go back and reread this if you so choose. Thank you very much for the compliment and taking the time to review this. Mike
Comment from Kingsland
this is really really good
this has such brilliant rhythm in its phrases
this is a brilliant piece of poetic artistry
this is well worthy of all six stars and more... John
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
 |
this is really really good
this has such brilliant rhythm in its phrases
this is a brilliant piece of poetic artistry
this is well worthy of all six stars and more... John
Comment Written 28-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
-
Wow! The beauty with the sixers is that I never know when someone will bestow one upon me. I thank you very much for your generous rating, the compliments and this review. I am glad to so touch you. Mike
Comment from Judian James
"in the heart, that loved one's" I suggest moving the comma from after "heart" to after "loved" which presents an entirely different meaning that I think you intended. Second verse is excellent Mike. "But as storm clouds part and the sun shines through;positively leaving behind,in our hearts a silver lining to view" This verse has too many syllables for the other two verses and tends to throw off the meter. I would drop "positively and then move the comma from after "behind" to after "hearts" With those few tweaks, this would be an excellent, excellent piece Mike. well done
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
|
"in the heart, that loved one's" I suggest moving the comma from after "heart" to after "loved" which presents an entirely different meaning that I think you intended. Second verse is excellent Mike. "But as storm clouds part and the sun shines through;positively leaving behind,in our hearts a silver lining to view" This verse has too many syllables for the other two verses and tends to throw off the meter. I would drop "positively and then move the comma from after "behind" to after "hearts" With those few tweaks, this would be an excellent, excellent piece Mike. well done
Comment Written 28-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
-
I did drop the posatively and and moved a couple of the coma's and changing the structure a bit. Thank you so much for your compliments, sugestions and this review. You should feel free to reread this too. Mike
-
This the best metered piece you've ever done Mike. well done. It's looks great and reads beautifully
Comment from Wendyanne
Hi Mike. Why have you changed the picture of you that was on earlier? This is a lovely piece of poetry about the loss of a loved one. Memories always last as you say.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
|
Hi Mike. Why have you changed the picture of you that was on earlier? This is a lovely piece of poetry about the loss of a loved one. Memories always last as you say.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
-
Wendy, I have missed your writing and I am glad for your review. I thank you for it and your compliments. Mike
Comment from LadyMary
This is well written, with good rhyme and meter. In its brevity, it makes a strong statement about the footprint one can leave on another's heart and soul. Excellent. LadyMary
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
|
This is well written, with good rhyme and meter. In its brevity, it makes a strong statement about the footprint one can leave on another's heart and soul. Excellent. LadyMary
Comment Written 28-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
-
I should let you know that I added additional lines to make this a more tributary and memorializing piece. I thank you very much for your compliments and this review. Mike
