Comment from mtngalofnc

Excellent

Hi Jan,
A very good entry. Your poem is strong in emotion, well thought out and sends a very clear message. The rhyme and flow is very good. Thank you for sharing and God bless and best wishes!
mtngalofnc

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2008

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reply by the author on 04-Sep-2008

thanks, mtngalofnc. love, jan

Comment from ritareeact3

Excellent

You wrote a poem that could potentially encourage others not to harm themselves, which, should make you feel very rewarded, as you get to use your craft and help people. Great job!

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2008

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reply by the author on 06-Sep-2008

ritareeact3, when my therapist first told me my therapy could be used to help others, I just laughed at her and reminded her I was a math teacher by design. She reminded me God was in the design business, not me, and He would ultimately decide how my gifts would be used. Thanks for the reminder. love, jan

Comment from Kingsland

Excellent

Driving you to make choices that?re bad>they're
there is no such word as that're

but that in of itself did not take enough away from this piece
as I enjoyed the message and poetic verve of this poem... John

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2008

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reply by the author on 27-Aug-2008

I believe it's called poetic license -- not sure "they're bad" works either -- I'll try to figure out what to do to fix it. thanks. love, jan

Comment from AlvinTEthington

Excellent

An excellent moving poem. As someone who suffers from extreme clinical depression, I can tell you that the hurt I would leave behind in those who love me was often the reason I didn't kill myself during depressive episodes. This poem needs to be read by all who have suicidal ideation. You use all the words without there being a forced tone to the poem. Also, you combine inter-stanza (the last line of each stanza) and intra-stanza (aabbc) rhymes quite well. Good job.

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2008

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reply by the author on 27-Aug-2008

thanks, Alvin. I also suffer from a mood disorder, ADHD, fibromyalgia, and some other well-documented issues which have placed me on the edge more than once but I know all too well the decimation of lives it leaves behind, thus I, too, remain. love, jan

Comment from butterflygiggles

Excellent

Thank you for writing a poem that brings to light a subject that is hard for people to talk about. We need to continue to encourage people to share their pain maybe they wouldn't see suicide as their only option. Good luck in contest.

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2008

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reply by the author on 27-Aug-2008

butterflygiggles, you are so right. thanks. love, jan

Comment from Poetic Friend

Excellent

I really like the poems you chose to write using the challenge words.

You are correct, anyone who has contemplated suicide should read this one. Such individual will change him/her thoughts of self-destruction and appeciate living. Thank you for sharing such an inspirational poem.

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2008

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reply by the author on 27-Aug-2008

thank you, Poetic Friend, for your gracios review. love, jan

Comment from mushroom

Excellent

yes nicely written, heartfelt with warmth towards the subject, it inspires us in different ways the things that happen in this world, a good contest entry though

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2008

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reply by the author on 27-Aug-2008

thanks, mushroom. love, jan

reply by mushroom on 28-Aug-2008

you're welcome

Comment from Trena One Who Cares

Excellent

Hi RM I think the ones that have lost friends and family to that death know just what this poem means. One of the hardest things to deal with is the anger. Always wondering if you missed that important moment they tried to share there feelings of doom. Great write. Trena

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2008

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reply by the author on 27-Aug-2008

Amen, Trena. Even after many years, I find myself wondering still. love, jan

Comment from Dave-Aranda-Richards

Excellent

O.K. Janice, you have me hooked with your writings. This is a piece which like you and too many others I have gone through. Wish they could have read your piece, but it seems once they make up their mind, they are blind by the apparent care-free they see ahead.

Thanks,...Dave

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2008

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reply by the author on 27-Aug-2008

I am honored and humbled by your opening comment, Spurgeon. thank you. love, jan

Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Excellent

This is very cleverly thoughtout

and presented...with a smooth

flow to the rhyme. An ideal entry

for the contest.

Good luck.
Margaret.

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2008

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reply by the author on 27-Aug-2008

thanks, Margaret. love, jan