Stalker
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Follow the Leader"Jim and Lenny are hired to find a stalker
19 total reviews
Comment from Stephy Jemmisparks
this may be a weird suggestion, Teacher, but the fact that your names in your books are so common, they feel like they are real. My characters are ones of fantasy and supernatural and science fic, so I make up names for them, but I like yours the way they are. this chapter mentions them so often I thought I could just give you some thinkers on this effect.
~Stephy
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2008
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this may be a weird suggestion, Teacher, but the fact that your names in your books are so common, they feel like they are real. My characters are ones of fantasy and supernatural and science fic, so I make up names for them, but I like yours the way they are. this chapter mentions them so often I thought I could just give you some thinkers on this effect.
~Stephy
Comment Written 17-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2008
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Hi Stephy,
I try to use names that are easy to remember and familiar. Fantasy and scifi are so different. I have a hard time relating to the characters sometimes. Oh well! Thanks for stopping by!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from sharon fallis
Whew!! Am having a hard time staying awake, but I will get a couple more of these read tonite and then bed and back to it again in the am. What a 'bedtime' tale this is. As always. Everything is perfect and still the best thing I've read lately. Sharon
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2008
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Whew!! Am having a hard time staying awake, but I will get a couple more of these read tonite and then bed and back to it again in the am. What a 'bedtime' tale this is. As always. Everything is perfect and still the best thing I've read lately. Sharon
Comment Written 09-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2008
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Hi again...this isn't exactly a bedtime story, lol! thanks so much for reading along like this. You're the best,
Hugs
Gayle
Comment from davidray
A very well-written piece of literature, Gayle.I am enjoying this very much, especially with the speed and dialogue being so crisp. Terrific narration too.
A couple very minor thing, for your consideration, please:
-just drive on by." (just drive by.")
-be unable to stay with Ella; he couldn't let that happen. (use colons sparingly, sweetie. And don't use one here. Replace it with a period.)
-and disappeared around the turn." (you used 'disappeared' in the previous sentence. How about vanished this time? You have to change it. YOu used 'disappeared' again a couple sentences later.)
That's it! Keep up the great work.
Hugs,
David :)
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
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A very well-written piece of literature, Gayle.I am enjoying this very much, especially with the speed and dialogue being so crisp. Terrific narration too.
A couple very minor thing, for your consideration, please:
-just drive on by." (just drive by.")
-be unable to stay with Ella; he couldn't let that happen. (use colons sparingly, sweetie. And don't use one here. Replace it with a period.)
-and disappeared around the turn." (you used 'disappeared' in the previous sentence. How about vanished this time? You have to change it. YOu used 'disappeared' again a couple sentences later.)
That's it! Keep up the great work.
Hugs,
David :)
Comment Written 27-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
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Aargh! David, I did repeat disappeared. I'll get right in there and make fix. I sure appreciate you hanging in there and for the wonderful supportive comments!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Sylvia Page
Hmmm, that was a lot of excitement. Was expecting one of the cars to get wise to Jim. Felt as though I was in one of the cars with either Ella or Jim. Now there is good suspense as the story hots up.
Good work, Gayle keep going.
Sylvia
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2008
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Hmmm, that was a lot of excitement. Was expecting one of the cars to get wise to Jim. Felt as though I was in one of the cars with either Ella or Jim. Now there is good suspense as the story hots up.
Good work, Gayle keep going.
Sylvia
Comment Written 26-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2008
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Hey Sylvia,
We gotta get them out of there right now, huh? Now, how're we going to do that? I have an idea it's going to get busy down there real quick.
Thanks for the wonderful comments, my friend.
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Allezw2
Lady Gayle,
Tailing a suspect in traffic on a road like that has to be as frustrating as you portray it.
Now that the military has all of those lightweight UAVs, I'm certain the various constabularies will be jumping on them too.
Lots cheaper than the cowboys we have now in the helos chasing cars down the freeways and into urban and suburban areas.
Nicely done,
Wayne
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2008
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Lady Gayle,
Tailing a suspect in traffic on a road like that has to be as frustrating as you portray it.
Now that the military has all of those lightweight UAVs, I'm certain the various constabularies will be jumping on them too.
Lots cheaper than the cowboys we have now in the helos chasing cars down the freeways and into urban and suburban areas.
Nicely done,
Wayne
Comment Written 25-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2008
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Hey Wayne,
There you go, next in the Sessions and Browning arsenal will be a helicopter. Oh boy, we can have fun with that one!
As always, a super duper review and a chuckle to boot!
Hugs,
Gayle
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Hands tight on the reins and leaning forward.
How'd you like the U.S. Equestrian team this year?
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http://www.rhymer.com/RhymingDictionary/poetry.html
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Oh Wayne, it was great. Did you watch McLain in the final round for the individual medal? Man, a little half-halt about three strides out from that wall would have kept the blocks up! I was screaming like Karen. And when Beezie just dropped her horse on the turn coming into the triple combination and the horse stopped. Yep, saw that one five strides out!
Of course, I'm a superior armchair rider.
And good old Beezie, man. I've watched her grow up into one of the best horsemen I've ever seen. Too bad Richard Spooner and Robinson never made the team. Has a lot to do with where your performance is at any given year.
Ah, well.
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Attitude - check, reflexes - check, experience - check, keen eye - check, yeah, I guess that would qualify you as an arm chair expert.
Comment from bookishfabler
Anothwer good chapter. Nice fast paced. It makes you want to keep going on and on. I think you managed to uotrun EE. Yeah. No nits on this one
hugs
book
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2008
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Anothwer good chapter. Nice fast paced. It makes you want to keep going on and on. I think you managed to uotrun EE. Yeah. No nits on this one
hugs
book
Comment Written 25-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2008
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Hi Heidi,
This is some story, all kinds of things happening and tons of loose threads. I got the sewing needle in hand!
Thanks so much for the great comments..you're so appreciated. Hey, how's stuff down by you? Incredible weather, huh?
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Domino
Hi, Gayle.
haven't had your email yet, was it important?
'"Oh, shit, now what [ maybe stop there rather than repeat 'we do' ] do we do? He's going the wrong way, Jim. What should we do?"
'Jag pick up a bit of [maybe delete 'a bit of'] speed.
Another tense goody, Gayle. Must admit to getting a little confused with the different cars, but you know my attention spell, LOL. If I had the book in front of me, I'd refer back more easily. Polished and well though out as usual with your usual vivid dialogue and scene sets. Ray xx
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2008
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Hi, Gayle.
haven't had your email yet, was it important?
'"Oh, shit, now what [ maybe stop there rather than repeat 'we do' ] do we do? He's going the wrong way, Jim. What should we do?"
'Jag pick up a bit of [maybe delete 'a bit of'] speed.
Another tense goody, Gayle. Must admit to getting a little confused with the different cars, but you know my attention spell, LOL. If I had the book in front of me, I'd refer back more easily. Polished and well though out as usual with your usual vivid dialogue and scene sets. Ray xx
Comment Written 24-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2008
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Hi Ray,
I know, too many cars. I may adjust this somehow when the book is finished, but I had to show that several people in big cars were interested in where Andy was going.
I agree with your suggestion in the dialogue. Will fix...also delete a bit of speed, although I did want to make it clear that they were only going, like, 35/40mph. The PCH is clogged with tourists.
Thanks so much for the great ideas, my friend. Big thanks,
and hugs,
gayle
Let me check, it might be stuck in the port! LOL!
Comment from RenieReader
Gayle: This is making me so danged nervous, I've got to go buy some better deodorant. I have a terrible feeling they are going to get wedged between two factions in this kidnapping. Too many cars suddenly going the same direction. Uh-uh, nope. Don't like it a bit.
giving the Mercedes many opportunities [to] turn and
Hugs,
Renie
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2008
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Gayle: This is making me so danged nervous, I've got to go buy some better deodorant. I have a terrible feeling they are going to get wedged between two factions in this kidnapping. Too many cars suddenly going the same direction. Uh-uh, nope. Don't like it a bit.
giving the Mercedes many opportunities [to] turn and
Hugs,
Renie
Comment Written 24-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2008
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Hey Renie,
I know just how you feel. Either this will end brilliantly or it'll fizzle out like a damp match. Sometimes I get myself into such tight spots...here come the dogs, huh?
Will get the 'to' in there. Thanks so much, m'dear, you're such a peach,
Love ya,
Gayle
Comment from Readywriter52
Jim has lost Andy. They spend their time in this chapter looking for them. They followed the grey Mercedes but it appeared to be a false lead. Not much happens in this chapter and I feel as lost as Jim and Ella.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2008
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Jim has lost Andy. They spend their time in this chapter looking for them. They followed the grey Mercedes but it appeared to be a false lead. Not much happens in this chapter and I feel as lost as Jim and Ella.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2008
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Hi RW,
Oh dear, sorry about that. We're heading into uncharted territory here, more players than they anticipated. I'll try to clarify better in the next chapter. sorry about that and thanks for the review and for hanging on,
Gayle
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Gayle, something tells me the folks in the Lincoln only want the boys and girls to think it was a coincidence they were along for the parade, too. FBI? CIA? How about KGB looking out for the Russians backsides? One little piece of spag for you below.
many opportunities turn >> many opportunities to turn
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2008
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Gayle, something tells me the folks in the Lincoln only want the boys and girls to think it was a coincidence they were along for the parade, too. FBI? CIA? How about KGB looking out for the Russians backsides? One little piece of spag for you below.
many opportunities turn >> many opportunities to turn
Comment Written 23-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2008
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Girl, it has to be a tupperware party, at least. did you get the invite? Here we all are, trying to be inconspicuous and failing miserably. soon, we'll hear what's going on inside those cars. Should be fun!
Thanks so much for the cool comments and that edit...will fix.
Much love and hugs,
Gayle
