haiku (white risky poppy)
5/7/5 haiku23 total reviews
Comment from tony bronk
I RECENTLY WROTE A HAIKU WITH BLOOD FROM A FLOWER AS WELL. mINE WAS FROM A ROSE. I ENJOYED YOUR THIRD LINE. IT FINISHED THE HAIKU NICELY. TONY
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2008
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I RECENTLY WROTE A HAIKU WITH BLOOD FROM A FLOWER AS WELL. mINE WAS FROM A ROSE. I ENJOYED YOUR THIRD LINE. IT FINISHED THE HAIKU NICELY. TONY
Comment Written 10-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2008
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Thanks for a great review. I like that third line, too. How is your haiku listed in your portfolio?
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red bleeding rose tony
Comment from Judian James
This is all quite brilliant Al. The photo and your well chosen words are as if they had been created together! I love the first line and the use of the word "risky" here ... second line perfection and wow, you brought it all home in line three. There's an underlying current that cannot be denied ... the white of innocence and the red to represent the temptations of sin perhaps. Excellent, beautiful piece. Alas, I have no 6's
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2008
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This is all quite brilliant Al. The photo and your well chosen words are as if they had been created together! I love the first line and the use of the word "risky" here ... second line perfection and wow, you brought it all home in line three. There's an underlying current that cannot be denied ... the white of innocence and the red to represent the temptations of sin perhaps. Excellent, beautiful piece. Alas, I have no 6's
Comment Written 07-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2008
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Thank you for such a kind review. I did try to multilayer this piece and I appreciate you noticing.
Comment from rama devi
Outstanding haiku. A good contender in the contest. Gee whiz, I've entered too and now have no chance to win! LOL
Perfect word economy. Expressive.
I find nothing to alter in this masterful write. The presentation is also good with the powerful photo.
Warm Regards,
rama devi
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2008
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Outstanding haiku. A good contender in the contest. Gee whiz, I've entered too and now have no chance to win! LOL
Perfect word economy. Expressive.
I find nothing to alter in this masterful write. The presentation is also good with the powerful photo.
Warm Regards,
rama devi
Comment Written 07-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2008
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Thanks for an outstanding review. By the way, when it has been a site-sponsored haiku contest, I have never won, so you definitely have a chance. Thanks again.
Comment from babylonia
definitely goes well with this piece. easy to read and follow. no spaggies do i see. imagery is excellent. they definitely picked a good picture. keep up the good work~
love,
barbara
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
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definitely goes well with this piece. easy to read and follow. no spaggies do i see. imagery is excellent. they definitely picked a good picture. keep up the good work~
love,
barbara
Comment Written 06-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
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Thanks for a great review.
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you are very welcome~
love,
barbara
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Alvin,
Pure is the love of Our Lord Jesus Christ and He shed His last drop of blood to forgive us our impurities (of sin)
Wonderful image Alvin
Gert
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
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Hello Alvin,
Pure is the love of Our Lord Jesus Christ and He shed His last drop of blood to forgive us our impurities (of sin)
Wonderful image Alvin
Gert
Comment Written 06-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
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Yes, I had Christian theology in mind when I wrote this. Thanks for a great review.
Comment from c_lucas
Your brief poem brings for Chistian imagery. White for purity.The dark center for the spot of sin. Washing the sin away with the Blood of the Lamb. Well done. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
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Your brief poem brings for Chistian imagery. White for purity.The dark center for the spot of sin. Washing the sin away with the Blood of the Lamb. Well done. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
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Yes, I had Christian theology in mind when I wrote this poem. Thanks for a good review.
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You're welcome. Charlie
Comment from pasinger
Another 5,7,5 from the master.
We are privileged to have you on the sight not only to delight us with your work but because you unselfishly share your knowledge and teach the different poetic forms by example.
I particularly liked this one, though what it said to me might be quite different to how others read it. The scriptures say that through the blood of Christ we can have sin forgiven and the poppy with the red centre reminds me we have white garments that are not yet as white as snow. Blood red on purity. They will be washed white with the blood of the Lamb.
Thank you as always for a lovely work
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
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Another 5,7,5 from the master.
We are privileged to have you on the sight not only to delight us with your work but because you unselfishly share your knowledge and teach the different poetic forms by example.
I particularly liked this one, though what it said to me might be quite different to how others read it. The scriptures say that through the blood of Christ we can have sin forgiven and the poppy with the red centre reminds me we have white garments that are not yet as white as snow. Blood red on purity. They will be washed white with the blood of the Lamb.
Thank you as always for a lovely work
Comment Written 06-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
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Yes, I had Christian theology in mind when I wrote this. Thanks for a great review and for the six stars. They are truly appreciated.
Comment from honeytree
white risky poppy
contains chaste
crimson center
blood-red purity
"within pure souls
father, son, holy spirit
God within us forever"
I loved your writing.
I hope I have helped.
Honeytree
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
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white risky poppy
contains chaste
crimson center
blood-red purity
"within pure souls
father, son, holy spirit
God within us forever"
I loved your writing.
I hope I have helped.
Honeytree
Comment Written 06-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
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Yes, what you wrote is a good commentary on the poem. Thank you for that and for a good review.
Comment from Eternal Muse
This is an astounding creation, Mr. Ethington. Every word carries its precious cargo, The multidimensional nature of this does not escape the reader. The satori is quite striking, and makes one think of a virgin. You did this picture justice. Classic 5/7/5 count, good luck in the contest, it sounds like a winner to me!
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2009
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This is an astounding creation, Mr. Ethington. Every word carries its precious cargo, The multidimensional nature of this does not escape the reader. The satori is quite striking, and makes one think of a virgin. You did this picture justice. Classic 5/7/5 count, good luck in the contest, it sounds like a winner to me!
Comment Written 06-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2009
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Thank you for your very kind review.
Comment from Indigo
Oeee... i Really liked this!!
I will never admit to the depths my mind wondered when reading this... but it surely sent a shiver down my spine :).
Excellent!! And best of luck in the contest. (After all, you are the haiku master) xx
Have a fantastic day.
Indi xx
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
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Oeee... i Really liked this!!
I will never admit to the depths my mind wondered when reading this... but it surely sent a shiver down my spine :).
Excellent!! And best of luck in the contest. (After all, you are the haiku master) xx
Have a fantastic day.
Indi xx
Comment Written 06-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
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Thanks; I was wondering where you had been. If I can create that kind of reaction in a reader, I have done well as a writer. Thanks for a very reassuring review.
